Risa @startrek.website ummthatguy @lemmy.world 1y ago

Semantic arguments, part 2 (Hard Mode: No Pulaski... *and no Julian for lack of spots)

Follow Bill and Ted's Law: Be excellent to each other.

And keep it in good humor.

35 comments

Best worst
Pulaski would've been too OP.
The cat doctor wins on account of being able to swear. But Dr. Culber gets bonus points for sarcastically delivering medical care on occasion.
- Not only for being able to swear, but for making liberal use of that privilege
Crusher was only terrible to Q, who very much had it coming. And it was funny when she called him a pain in the ass.
- Tbf that is the correct way of interacting with Q
- This list is missing Polasky. She wouldn't beat the EMH, but she would tear a strip off you if you got injured doing something stupid.
  
  Pulaski also seemed to be high functioning autistic, with researcher abrasive in the mix.
  
  Dr. Tracy Pollard of Discovery and head of Sickbay definitely had snark.
Because he's not listed, Julian.
- Yeah, him too. Look, I had 6 spots and several shows to cover. Not to mention his lack of ethics in dating his patients.
  
  Fair enough, I would have given any name that wasn't on the list, I mean, Tom Paris was a doc for a short bit, right? (My collectors plate has it in a footnote)
  
  Well, if I was deemed a criminal by the act of existing, I wouldn't care a lot about ethics either.
Culber is the real sleeper here because he'll deal stealth emotional damage. That sweet smile, those deep eyes, and then he says the most snarky, sarcastic shit you can imagine given the situation. This is the only way to tame Stamets after all.
Toss up between EMH and T'Ana, really, but I'd say T'Ana has more lovable burnout energy that the crew vibe with, where the EMH is just kind of a dick. I love him, he's one of my favorite characters in all of Trek, but his bedside manner makes him a huge pain in the ass for anyone normal to work with. The people who got along best with him are Seven, who basically had high-functioning autism implants from the Borg, and Kes, who was, by and large, incapable of being mad. Janeway dealt with him fine because she just never took any shit from him as a matter of policy, and the only other person he vibed hard with was a fucking serial killer. Tom Paris, who stands out for being by far the biggest normie on Voyager, couldn't stand the EMH (though he also hated sick bay).

So, gotta go with EMH having the worst bedside manner.
- Going to have to agree. He was never intended to need a good bedside manner because he was never supposed to be doing long term patient care. So they never bothered to program it.
  
  He was designed for emergencies: "Do this. Do it now. Moving on."
- He can be a bit of a pill.
- Autism implants 💀
EMH with ethical subroutines disabled
- He has ethical subroutines?????!??
Cat doctor from Lower Decks might cough up a hairball inside your phaser wound. On purpose.

Though considering Paul F. Thompkins plays the other doctor (the bird dude), he might be worse. We just never see him doing any doctor shit.

Also: What the hell are their names?! I'm so bad at remembering all the character's names from LD. I only ever remember Boimler's.
- Dr.Migleemo is the ship's counselor, so much closer to Troi than Crusher.
  
  Migleemo a' Trois, in 3... 2... 1...
- left to right:
  
  Phlox, USS Enterprise NX-01 (ENT)
  
  Leonard "Bones" McCoy, USS Enterprise NCC-1701/-A (TOS)
  
  Beverly Crusher, USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D/-E (TNG)
  
  T'Ana, USS Cerritos NCC 75567 (LD)
  
  Emergency Medical Hologram Mk. I, while there are many instantiations this one's presumably "the Doctor," USS Voyager NCC-74656/(-A) VOY/(+PRO, eventually)
  
  Hugh Culber, USS Discovery NCC-1031/-A (DISCO)
But Julian did find the spots....on Ezri.

35 comments