No one here has said “masturbate” yet and I am highly suspicious.
I came here specifically to say jerk off. It's also what I do first thing when I wake up. I like to play that game where you try and cum before passing out.
Force myself to stop thinking in words and start thinking in pictures. Otherwise I'll never actually get to sleep.
I like to come up with stories like movies in my head. I'm out within 5mins unless I come up with something I particularly like, then I'm trying to keep myself up so I can keep watching.
I sometimes let my mind go on a fantasia-esque dream journey. I always start with the same imagery, and then try to coax my subconscious into taking the reins. It's like tricking your mind into the REM state.
Is there an aphantasia community yet?
Spoon my wife until she gets too hot and taps my leg so I roll over whilst listening to some trashy young adult fantasy audiobook.
This is the way!
Pretend to be asleep
I perform a highly sophisticated ritual known as "struggling to find the most comfortable position", only to wake up later feeling like I went ten rounds with a mattress." It's real art, ya know.
I see you, too, are a master of the midnight monster fights. And it's not that my bed or pillow are bad or uncomfortable either. It's painfully infuriating.
Read a book
Usually - drop my book
Same.
Same.
Turn the other way
Double check any alarms.
I usually read myself to sleep, given the opportunity.
Scroll lemmy until my phone falls off my unconscious hands.
Pet the cat.
Watch videos on the orange and black website.
Take my glasses off. I'm the kind of person that needs to watch something to fall asleep to. So I usually roll over, take my glasses off, and then just listen till I fall asleep.
I cry
But why?
I mean gestures vaguely at everything
I play this video on YouTube, and program the sleep function on my TV.
Nice, there was a time when I always play rain sounds while asleep, it gave me good quality sleep, but my wife made me stop, apparently it has the opposite effect on her.
And also, apparently some playlist have thunder in them. I wasn't aware because I was very deeply asleep.
Recently I've been doing a sudoku on my phone with AMOLED Black backgrounds and it's actually been great for getting to sleep
I use Open Soduko from F-Droid
Your mom
Turn on a video on my phone to distract my thoughts then lie on my stomach
Breathe
Roll onto my stomach.
Close my eyes.
Close my eyes
Crank one out then lights out.
Brush my teeth.
Put in the R airpod and start a random SEA video on Youtube (Friendly+ app) on 0.75x speed, adjusting the volume to just barely drowning out the tinnitus. Gets me to sleep within 5 minutes every night.
Pat the dog and tell him what a good boy he is.
Surprised that no one mentioned ASMR. Listen to it almost every night and it helps with falling asleep quicker a lot.
Set alarms on my iPhone and iPad, plug them in to charge, and swap my glasses for a sleep mask. (It's crazy how much wearing one improved my sleep)
I have a playlist that I listen to every night. I hit shuffle then I usually pick out 10 or 15 minutes of songs and drag them to the top of the shuffled list.
Say 'oof' as the youngest cat stomps across me to cuddle with my wife.
Snuggle with my cat, make sure he's comfy and isn't in a spot where I'll trap him under the covers or something by rolling over.
Last thing I consciously do is listen to a YouTube channel that one's fun at whatever shenanigans the right is up to, and when I realize I'm getting too sleepy to pay attention, I pause it and let the thunderstorm noise I almost always have playing as part of my Assistant bedtime routine finish it off.
Sometimes I change it up for some crickets, or white noise.
I play "Unmade Podcast" at random episode.
be awake
Kiss my wife goodnight
I usually hit the sack, then go to bed.
Apply the rogaine and the night cream for my face. Cheers.
