So I've been talking a lot about my recent bouts with anxiety which stem from an issue occurring at work. No one probably remembers me posting about this but my boss wanted me to fire someone without following correct fair work process and while i managed to put that fire out other stuff has eventuated because of it which has been cause for my anxiety.
Anyway this morning I woke up to a life preserver from the universe in the form of a hefty tax return that is enough for me to live off for a couple of months if i decide to quit my current role. I've already started applying for jobs and my plan would be to give 2 weeks notice which will give a nice boost to my savings. So I think I'm going to go ahead and quit. Hopefully I will have something lined up in the couple of weeks but if not i'll at least have some savings to dip into.
I think I actually remember your situation you had where your boss wanted you to basically be responsible for letting go of someone but you ended up taking some advice and framing it in a way to your boss that the process of it all was more of a detriment and that it also shouldn't fall on your shoulders as it's not your responsibility either.
Yeah that was it! I ended up having a conversation with the employee as my boss insisted on giving him a written warning despite my advice to just go a letter of concern and make it an informal warning. I was just honest with him about the whole situation and he's contacted fair work . I have a feeling when my boss returns from leave in a few days, she going to be pissed at me and from what I've been told from other staff who have been at this business a while, she can be very vindictive when she feels crossed by people. I'm too old to put up with that shit so I'm probably going to give notice this week or next.
Workplace has been collapsing. Today it felt worst of all. For the first time it's like... Do I want to stay here? Increased work load due to staff reduction. Not being able to service clients well - and they really need it. Today was super busy and and stressful and we also learned were having another department join our floor, I'll no longer have a window seat, and it will be busy and noisy 😞 it just sucks idk.
I've made sure all the blinds are closed up tonight, put the second doona back on the bed, and set the heater to come on in the morning before I have to get up. 4am dog walk in the morning is going to be hard. Mr Woof doesn't mind the cold though, the benefits of a long fur coat.
Rest day for me today, so I just did my tummy exercises. Also I missed the bus I was going to catch so I walked 3 stops down. And I saw ducks!
2 images of ducks, one sitting on a fence and one on the mailbox of a block of flats. Ducks are possibly Australian Wood Ducks; grey and brown ducks, one with speckled markings at the neck area, and the other with the same markings extended over the neck and tummy area. They appear to be a pair.
Yep. Known as wood ducks but also as 'maned geese' - they are a mini goose apparently. Where I used to live in EBrunswick, just near the Lomond Hotel, they used to nest on the chimney. Apparently the chicks can fly too cos there was no other way to eat from up there. They don't quack, just sort of mutter. This is the start of the nesting/breeding season so don't be surprised if they set up housekeeping. Look for nests on chimneys and roofs and in trees.
Yet another rejection email. Fed up and sick of going through arduously long interview processes just to be told that I'm not worth investing in. Phone interviews, video interviews, in-person, psychometric testing, where I want o be in 5 years, I'm over it all.
I want to work, I'm smart, interesting, and quick to learn. But nope. There's always someone else 'better suited to the role'.
Whatever, I'm fucking out. I've been posting heaps today, but I'm so done - I'm off to hibernate and feel very sorry for myself.
Edit: they're fucking call centre jobs, like, I've been doing it for 10 years! I know how to sit in a seat, use a computer, and talk to people! What is wrong with me!!!????
Sitting in a Denny's in a seemingly dodgy part of Bakersfield getting breakfast food at 11:30pm. Some drunk dudes who promised the waitress they won't fight are showing signs that they might fight.
It’s weird that the mushrooms apparently just got scraped off and the kids were fine. Because I read in some book once (fictional, about a cult) where they were making amanita tea. Implying stuff leaches out with moisture.
But then other stuff says the death cap poison is not soluble so maybe it’s just the hallucinogens are or the book was wrong. So they could have removed it and been okay because it didn’t permeate the meal?
I have no idea. My interest in mushrooms is from a botanical standpoint and checking them out as a kid. Going down a research rabbit hole out of curiosity. What info is right
I'm interested in this beef Wellington pie. So not a traditional beef Wellington but a pie version. Was it a large pie or individual pies? And if it was a large pie how fucking big was this thing that feed 5 people plus leftovers for the kids plus samples for the cops? Was there more than one pie? So many questions.
My Dad used to work on a mushroom farm and all the mushrooms were grown indoors in big sheds. The workers wore tyvek suits to reduce contamination. Things may have changed now. That's all I know about mushroom growing.
43 years ago, there was a tragedy in the Northern Territory - a Dingo stole a baby from under a mother's eye in a tent in the middle of nowhere. It was a formative event for me in my childhood.
For months after that event, the media and every talking head in the country spun out a narrative that the mother had done this evil thing, despite having no first-hand knowledge of events. It was repeated and discussed enough that this narrative managed to cement itself into everyone's minds. I remember being really confused - why would a mother kill a baby? By the time she went to court, she was guilty in the eyes of the nation and the trial was almost a formality.
Only, it later turned out that the mother was telling the truth. That tiny baby's coat was found in a dingo's den years later. Much hand wringing ensued. 'Oh that poor lady, she and her husband went through so much' (as though those same people weren't damning them years prior).
Anyway: from that tragic event, I learned never to assume I know all the facts. Never assume the media has any more idea of the truth than I do. Let the justice run its course, and may the truth come out before we pass judgement.
I don't know what happened with the mushroom case. And neither does anyone else currently talking about it. Rampant speculation is harmful.
I've been reflecting and I've decided that I'm just gonna say less at work in fear of being accused of mansplaining. And I'm not even a man. I just sometimes really like to say stuff.
Man I hate catastrophising so much. Current thoughts: 'i'm not going to get a new job' 'the situation at my current job is going to explode' 'i'm going to get fired' 'yes i now have money in savings but it wont be enough' 'nothing good is going to come my way' and so on and on. I'm sorry y'all I feel like such a broken record with my anxiety musings. Even though i've been in similar situations before and it's always worked out, my brain is like 'not this time, pal. this is the one where you're gonna get fucked over'.
Suddenly hit by a massive craving for some good old vegan mee goreng the way my mum would make it, with freshly pounded chilli ginger garlic paste, crumbled tofu, mock beef, the best yellow noodles, and heaps of sesame oil.
Was very tempted to get takeaway because I need to stop procrastinating and write down what happened last week and I really feel like I'd rather claw my eyeballs out. But I reckon I could get 3x the amount of meals for the same price. 🤔 plus if I cook tonight I've got extra food for the rest of the week. I've really recovered my cooking mojo since coming off SSRIs and it might be rewarding rather than a drag, so that shall be my reward to keep me going tonight.
HEY @Bottom_racer CAN YOU HEAR THAT? BAH GOD, IT'S...
SOXCAT'S MUSIC!!!
Back by special request, ONE WEEK ONLY!!!
...however she started doing the yowling-peeing thing two nights ago at her own home and she's been furiously rubbing herself on everything here like she's on speed so... I'm going to be prepared for a daily clean and UV sweep again ;_; (her owner finally understands what it's like and was very apologetic and said he'll cover any and all vet checks and took her there just before dropping me off and they took a swab of some kind...)
e: also no mee goreng for tonight because I need to keep an eye on this one.
e2: aaaand 3hrs in and the yowling started and she just did a nice big spray on the side of the TV stand and all the other things... dragging her hindquarters around in a lordosis position almost all the time, insane affection, constantly licking her privates then rolling around like a maniac...
What happened to all my Built to Spill albums on iTunes? They are all gone. Erased off my whole system. I bought them!! This is why buying digital media sucks.
Time to pirate stuff. I do it because I don't want to pay for a dozen different subscriptions and also what just happened to you also happened to me a while back.
So, I don't consume a lot of media like films and TV shows. Sometimes I watch YT, but not often.
However, I love celebrity gossip. Don't care if I know them or not, but reading about their shenanigans is the highlight of my day.
Currently, Taryn Manning (Pensatuckey from OITNB) has been losing her mind on meth over the last year or so. That recent video of her has me rolling tbh, like, how many times can you rephrase "i licked your mans butthole" 😂😂
I shouldn't laugh, but I will because fuck me it's funny
I kindof like celeb gossip. It plays a role in society educating people that drama and failure and flaws are common. Sort of like reassurance. There is also a feeling of community.
But I don't like it when people pick on others just to feel superior.
And laughing is good, life and people can be so absurd, I don't think we ( meaning I ) watch enough comedies , I am **too **serious 😔
I'm sad that she's falling so far, meth, trump-supporter, etc, because I really like her. But I like reading all about their shenanigans because, like you said, reassurance. We're all human beings at the end of the day, and no amount of money or fame is going to change th fact that we all make mistakes, that we're all shades of grey.
The fear that any of us could fall into the pit is lessened when we see that no matter your standing, that pit doesnt care. All we can do is keep doing our best.
I hope she gets the help she needs, Pensatuckey was my fav character from OITNB and I hate seeing her become the flaws of that character. She's beautiful, she just needs to stop the meth and licking married mens butts
Starting the whole "manager" part of my customer service role and I am already so frazzled trying to teach someone how to do my job.
It's head empty time.
Edit: Don't want to make two posts in the span of ten minutes but oh my God. Called my doctors because I needed my referral emailed and the receptionist is like "oh we don't email anymore because Covid's over 🤪" fuck off. I'm sick of able-bodied people thinking that just because we don't have lockdowns anymore that Covid is eradicated. Sure... we don't have lockdowns, but people are still affected by Covid. I most likely have long covid. Like... fuck off seriously. "Covid's over", girl, bye.
Huh. I thought that was supposed to be one of the positive things came out of all this; a recognition that email referrals and prescriptions and telehealth etc were a good idea that helped a lot of people and ought to be continued, irrespective of whether there's a pandemic on or not. Sounds like they're just being arbitrary/lazy.
Honestly! Like because of my chronic pain it's painful to walk long periods. My work is close to my doctors, but for what should be maybe a 2 minute walk, takes me maybe 5 - 10 minutes including the one or two stops in between. I just thought it'd be easier and quicker to get it emailed.
I even asked the doctor if I could get it emailed and she was like "the receptionists aren't here but it can be done on Monday", like cool awesome. But I didn't even get a message or whatever to be like "yeah soz we can't do it". Luckily I did it today before my appointment on Thursday but man...
These plant pots are tiny and the attached water saucer very shallow. Probably to limit weight when suspended but I really should have checked.
The positive is they so easily fit on the window sill. Maybe both would fit at once. They’ll become the cat grass pots then, so one can always be by the food bowl while the other is on the sill regrowing and getting some sun.
Okay so who else is going to be watching the Matildas tomorrow and will you be watching it somewhere special? I've never been to AAMI Park and no idea how these live televised things work in terms of seating and how early to get there and such....
I can't help but wonder whether Melbourne is being punished. No games past the round of 16 played in the second-largest city hosting the tournament.
Is this in response to the AFL refusing to share facilities? It is a bit embarrassing that the only stadium Melbourne can offer seats a mere 30,000. They should be playing in Docklands at the very least.
I can only hope this is the beginning of women's sports getting to the same level of clout as AFL and the like (though I do also think part of the attraction to the WWC this year is because it hasn't been over commercialised the way AFL has been - feels a bit more community oriented like the VFL of yore apparently was, even though this is an international event)
Metaphorically it's one of those days where you're walking on the left of the footpath, and everyone refuses to move and tries to barge through you leaving you to feel like you've got the whole thing wrong.
What’s with the eshay hate over at r/melbourne? If you believe what you read there, packs of vicious eshays roam Melbourne, contributing to the downfall of society. They harass strangers, carry weapons, obstruct traffic, and make the city unlivable.
I get out for exercise in Melbourne at all hours of day or night. I occasionally encounter eshays late at night, roaming the streets, speaking loudly in their eshay slang. They’re always pretty friendly, I’ve never had any trouble from them. The most trouble I’ve ever had from eshays is that they play loud Australian hiphop music on trains in Sydney. It’s mildly irritating, but far from the worst thing that I’ve seen.
So where are these dangerous eshays making the city unsafe? Do they only appear at specific times in specific places? Or is this just more, “kids these days,” crap? Or a convenient scapegoat?
I did see a couple dozen of them one weekday afternoon riding bikes down elizabeth street at high speed and lifting their bikes to one wheel only, with zero regard for cars and people crossing the road.
I just tried Aldi's frozen Singapore noodles for the first time and I don't know what I just ate but it wasn't Singapore noodles. I give it 1/5 yum yums and that's only because it was hot. Highly do not recommend.
Buses delayed by fifteen minutes, and yet we're expected to pay $10 a day for them? Get fucked PTV, all I want to do is get to my damn job and some days it just makes it impossible!
Yesterday I read an interesting thing that made it easier to understand the inner life and relationships of narcissists and sociopaths
"They consider us, all people, as flightless birds.
That's quite profound. When I think of how I think about birds. They can be amusing and pretty, some are annoying, I have no personal attachment what so ever ( unlike with mammals ) I have no qualms cooking them up for dinner.
I have this urge to cut everyone off. I deleted Insta so I talk to no one and archived all my chats except with close family. I'll probably redownload it tomorrow, but I need to stop focusing on other people and focus on myself and my degree. I want to graduate end of next year.
Just ate a microwave dinner for the first time in forever because I left my dinner on the bench and, oh golly, the flavour was like everything and nothing and now my mouth has a metallic tang going.
Waiting for stuff to arrive. Enrichment in my enclosure.
I ended up buying two Garden Up herb planters because they looked to have that self watering reserve at the bottom, which would cut me a lot of slack with remembering to water.
One big bag of potting mix (really should have bought two smaller ones as I might get injured or not be able to lift it).
The seeds: I wasn’t able to get to the seed library but Bunnings eventually came through.
I’m going for a tiny indoor container vegie garden. Leafy greens apparently need less light than the fruiting or root veg, plus spinach has shallow roots and can be continuously sown and harvested as baby leaves. So I chose Viking spinach (they didn’t let me get Medonia but Viking is still heirloom and heat tolerant. Which is important if still sowing into the warmer months. I can also save the seed if I want.). Being inside isn’t great for light but should protect them a little from bolting?
These may have to live on the windowsill for more light, if the pot is narrow enough to fit, but I got the small round Paris Market carrot seeds for container gardening. Apparently carrots are biennial?? Oops. And have to be left til the next year to set seed?? So instead of doubling them up with spinach as I planned they might need their own pot. Only if I wanted to save the seed though.
And cat grass to easily keep resowing it because I keep killing it and it’s annoying to try and dig it out from outside. Also the visiting black cat hangs out and poops out there (risk of worm or flea larvae).
I should have bought 3 of the pots maybe but am trying to keep things really easy and manageable. There is a way to make self watering pots with huge buckets that could scale down to reused yogurt pots but lazy. It wouldn’t get done.
Mushrooms are also really cool to grow and don’t need light or much room. They would be genuinely safe to eat, being from domesticated varieties and shop bought mycelium. But I can’t really eat too much of them and don’t know if cats digest them well either. (Melbcat likes cooked vegetables.)
Things like mini pumpkins in pots or potted citrus are not practical at the moment. Too much space, too heavy, too much light.
I also thought of making terrariums. Those need so little maintenance. But I would probably have to sterilise the jars and substrates. As well as buying special drainage gravel and potting mix. There is moss outside but no ferns.
Got some of the wonderful old gender euphoria back today. I haven't changed perspective or had anything special happen, it was just seeing my reflection in a shop window and seeing my figure looking a lot more feminine. People think trans women just want to look like cis women, but hrt changes us in so many ways and I reject cis normative ideas of what women are supposed to appear like. If I feel more femme I just fucking well am. I've kinda stopped journaling as nothing much different is happening lately so I'm glad today I can mark time again with a note of joy.
So RE: the mushroom lady. She's now saying she bought them from an Asian grocer. I don't know if she's lying or not, but that causes a lot of concerns in terms of racism and such.
I don’t think she’s very smart. My guess is she wants to blame something exotic but mushrooms from a Glen Waverley asian grocery store give an impression of the opposite.
Up late with a coffee and a smoke (i know, i know)
I sit wondering if life is just a big joke
A passing thought only, it doesn't overstay,-
Into my river all fears are swept away.
There's no bludging in those chore achievements! Great job. I had almost the identical day, but add shopping and minus cleaning the bathroom, which is on the to-do list for tomorrow :0/
Dins was chicken wingettes, marinated in nostimini and fried crispy, then a half cup of water added to the pan and steamed for 20 mins. Brussel sprouts quartered lengthwise and microwaved with butter separately. All on a slice of Lawsons bread - the best of the plastic bag breads imo. The remaining wingettes and the liquid from the pan will be kept overnight. If it sets solid (it should) will keep liquid as stock and munch on the wingettes for lunch tomorrow. Sauced to taste. Simple, easy and yum.
Hey have you tried those rice cakes made out of corn? They're much tastier than the rice version and do the same job, well worth having a go at. My kids and I love them and I've got a pack at work if I feel snacky, it tides me over well and stops me from eating the sweet biscuits.
Prefill data finally came through. Not grumpy at all about the pathetically low tax return this year, no siree, 250$ is surely in the same ballpark as $2-5k in past years...
😢 I don't want to think about what that'll be like. I don't even earn nearly enough to hit the additional Medicare levy but so much is gone... I've had to pare back a lot after realising how much less I'd have this year.
Okay, it's been a few hours and I'm still in character creation (it's expected, it's how I roll), and I've narrowed it down to a gold dragonborn, but can't decide on a class.
Sorcerer, Druid, or Ranger? Druid and Ranger for Speak with Animals and Animal Handling, respectively. Sorcerer because I love them.
Speak with animals is good! I'd recommend druids, because they can get pretty tanky (even more than Barbarians, though I'm not too sure if it works with bg3. I know in like the 5e tabletop version they can get tanky).
Bad mouth feel. Like I just ate wax.. which may be true, as some commercial pie and pastry manufacturers use food grade wax in the pastry to add a consistent golden colour and texture when par/baked.
Only an hour and half and I am at last on my weekend! Have two cars I'm test driving tomorrow and then it's sweet FA and night shift prep.
In exciting news, it looks like the cons of having us back in the office are starting to stack up and managements feeling a little pressure from a few directions to boot us back home for all or part of night rotation again. Crossing all the limbs because doing nights from home was the greatest thing to ever happen during covid.
Got a call for in person interview for one of the jobs I applied for which is great. But now begins the stress of trying to get my shift covered and as i'm potentially going to the interview straight from work dressing in a way that doesn't give the away i might be having and interview while also dressing appropriately for the interview. Also the nature of my job means that I can't just call in sick without my shift being covered. Should i just quit my job and wait for after then to attend interviews?
I don't want to but one of my earlier posts today mentions some issues i'm having at work and I'm just a bit done with the all the stress of it. Ideally i'd like to have something to go to before I resign. And I'm worried about how i'm going to juggle having to do phone interviews or actually go to interviews if I'm working all the time and can't call in sick unless my shift is covered.
My puffer jacket isn't uniform but I'll be damned if I'm taking it off this morning. I've even recruited my under-desk heater because I couldn't feel my feet. This is more like the Melbourne winter I remember.
I am fortunate enough to have a uniform puffer jacket - also a beanie and scarf! With a 6am start tomorrow I'll be utilising them all to get to the office without freezing. Warm uniform items are a bonus largely pushed by staff in the Ballarat office who need them even more than we do here.