bit trite, innit guvnah?

We definitely don’t call them that.

Also we have Bourbon Biscuits which are just lovely.

Yeah that British person was trying to wind up OP.

Bourbons shit all over oreos too, oreos are perhaps the most overrated biscuit out there.
- Oreos are horrible, over baked and hard tasteless pucks of biscuit with a lump of fat in the middle. Custard Creams piss all over them.
- Calling any cookie a biscuit gives me the urge to buy a musket and tricorn hat
- Hah.
  
  Why are custard creams boring compared to bourbons?
Someone really needs to start making actual bourbon biscuits.

Like, yeah, they're the best and all that. But, what if I need that bit of something to get me through the day? I can't have a drink at 9 am because it's frowned upon. But a biscuit? Yeah, that's calm.
- If only drinking wasn’t frowned upon. Why is the only time I can have a pint at 6am is if I’m in the airport?
  
  I mean that costs so much more money! 😂
The American word for biscuits equates to a spongey, mostly tasteless muffin. People in the south sometimes pour gravy on them and call it a meal.
- And that’s why the American language is so strange.
  
  I think one day in history the dictionary everyone used got coffee on it and the words had no definitions so they had to assign them to whatever they thought was right. Sadly they were wrong.
- Mostly tasteless? You need to try a better biscuit. Also, while that biscuits and gravy thing is true, they're more often either on the side or cut in half with bacon and eggs or something in between the halves. It's not something you want to eat every day, but once every few months on a Saturday morning it's incredible.
- Except the "gravy" is a greasy roux with bits of sausage meat in it. I think the biscuits are basically savoury scones. I'm not judging, the whole dish sounds fairly tasty and like the kind of thing a Northerner or Scotsman might invent.
- They pour some weird white liquid that looks like cum on them, but it ain't gravy.

Oreos taste like nothing anyway. So not a loss in my book.

If there's no hobnobs, no custard creams, no bourbon, no fly cemeteries, no Garibaldis, no choccy digestives

I'd still rather eat a pink wafer before an Orio

They're like the biscuit equivalent of beige
- I can only stand them dipped in milk, and I'd rather have any of the things you mentioned over just a plain Oreo. And I'm an American who doesn't even know what those things are...
Thank you, I remember being young and trying them for the first time excited as American culture had bigged them up no end, and they turned out to be bland as anything and nothing on a custard cream.