My bishops cast "River of Salmon", which causes the bears to do nothing but eat and sleep for the rest of the game, while my knights cry out "Ni!" and distract the black queen with a shrubbery. The rest of the game is plain sailing.
Promote all bishops to pope and shit together in woods.
Didn't know Leshy played chess.
Cocaine. Saw it in a movie.
You can do the woods response, whereas both queens will choose the bears to go into the woods with them rather than any male pieces. This leaves black without any frontline but also sacrifices both queens.
Do we get to see what happens on the woods board or do we just have to kinda sit at the chess board?
It's visible but you can barely make out the pieces because of all the foliage.
Here's a view of the woods board (it's below the trees):
You're not supposed to play around it, it's meant to make you lose. But don't worry, The Angler will only play the bear wall on your first run through or two to prevent the player from progressing too quickly. Once you find the Stinkbug and the Knife, he shouldn't summon them anymore and you can progress past him. Make sure you're taking time to look around the room for puzzles/secrets.
You should mirror their move as white bears are stronger than black bears.
Those are black bears, the scare easily. Just make your pawns clap, yell, and maybe even bang some pans together and they should saunter off.
Death touch mantis god or scissors
hook is good too
Feed them one of your horses. But put 2kg of C4 in the horse's butt first. Bears can't resist spicy palomino. Them yeet them off the board with the C4.
White does look to be in an unbearable position.
/Pun
Turns out the pawns are 'Murican!
Launch a salmon at the black king
Easy, i have the power of beets and Battlestar Galactica on my side!
Horse to f3
Thought they were panthers at first, in which case I'd say have the FBI monitor their comms and assassinate their leader.
But it's bears, so, yeah, like the other guy said, cocaine. Lots of cocaine.
Horse can jump over other pieces
Tarrif opening, but I haven't learned any endgames.
King gets rich, pawns die. The end.
Then the king makes the sons of the pawns fight in the rematch.
