"It's gotta be in here somewhere!"

She would just quote something totally unrelated and then start indiscriminately screaming when questioned

Leviticus 21:20 says that you can't approach YWHW's altar if your eyes suck. She's wearing glasses. She better stay far away from the altar.

Oh look, she's "reading" Revelations. The lunatic ravings of a man who very well might have been tripping balls on psychotropic mushrooms.

A shitty, boring sci-fi novella full of meaningless symbolism that is lost on every Christian who bothers to actually read it.

Seethe and Cope liberals! The real men hath return to the power, no more rapist immigrants in Judea! Any foreigner illegally entering the borders of Judea, whether they're criminal or not, must be maimed by barb wires!

--- Book of archived social media posts from Jesus

This is obviously bullshit

That filthy troglodyte can't read

I don't like her but that's offensive. just because we don't like her doesn't mean it's ok to refer to her as such. Marjorie is a titan. Elon is the troglodyte.

What would Jesus do?

Probably beg ICE not to deport him.

Because he wasn't white.

"You caught me. I like to read the dictionary sometimes. Break a mental sweat"

Somehow this movie has been coming up a lot lately for me. Such a classic.
- If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball

Looks like she's reading The Book of Revelation there. That's fun.

Found it!

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

How did this biblical author know the Relative , sizes of donkey and horse penises and ejaculates?

If someone wrote that today We would have some serious questions
- Listen man, you're hanging out in the desert with a bunch of donkeys and horses, you're gonna see some shit.
- The Monosodium Glutamate papyrus paintings.
One of my favourite passages ... I've memorized it and quote it often
- And my most unanswered prayer
Jfc

MAGA: "gotta check the old testament! God always hated those foreign types...."

Old Testament: "You shall treat the foreigner who journeys with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were foreigners in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God." -Leviticus 19:34

MAGA: "dammit!! Well.. Let's just deprive them of rights until they're so miserable they just leave?!"

Old Testament: "You shall have the same rule for the foreigner and for the native, for I am the Lord your God.” - Leviticus 24:22

MAGA: "Wuh?!? huh?!?? Well!! My old pastor said a rule didn't have full weight unless God said it more than once!!"

Old Testament: "There shall be just one law for the native and for the foreigner who journeys among you.” - Exodus 12:49

MAGA: "BUT IT'S NOT THREE TIMES IS IT?? THREE'S A GODLY NUMBER!!"

Old Testament: "One law and one rule shall be for you and for the foreigner who journeys with you" - Numbers 15:16

MAGA: "NGGGHHHHH!!!!! CUT THEM OFF!!"

Old Testament: "You shall not oppress a hired worker who is poor and needy, whether he is one of your brothers or one of the foreigners who are in your land within your towns. " - Deuteronomy 24:14

MAGA: "ARGHHHHH!! MAKE IT STOP!!!"

That's the old testament god. I believe in Supply-Side Jesus.
- Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a foreigner (Greek: xenos) and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. - Matthew 25:34-36
  
  etc
  
  Supply Side Jesus doesn't know his own book, to the surprise of absolutely no-one

Oh the old testament is quite clear: Thus says the Lord: Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widow, nor shed innocent blood in this place.

Jeremiah 22:30

And the new is no different:

You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

Matthew 25:40

Correction I copypasted the wrong new testament verse reference from a large collection on things the bible had to say on strangers. Both are old testament, but the list is long and very clear in the new testament too.
I'm not Christian but I'm fixing to get a sign that says Matthew 25:40 and put it over my front door.

Just perusing revelations to speed up the end of the world.

I mean - if that's a Bible... it does look like she is at the back - where she's either looking at Revelations... or checking out the old timey maps they put at the back of some of them.
- Maps are pictures and words are text homie, look deeper.

This bitch hasn't read a word of the Bible in her life

If you zoom in on the spine, it is not at all separated from the hardcover. To me this implies she hasn't opened this particular book many times before.
- It wouldn't surprise me one bit if she bought that Bible that day because it was thick and looked impressive.
This bitch hasn't read a word ~~of the Bible~~ in her life

FTFY
- Fair enough

Well I don’t believe in body shaming.

So lemme put it this way: at least Michelle Bachmann was stunning.

There's so much wasted empty space in that house which could be used to hang even more crosses!

She can read?!?

Have you noticed she holds the Bible in the famous "Trump Orientation"?

In a typical Bible, the body text is usually set in two columns and justified, while the footnotes are single column, ragged right (I.e. aligned to the left), and footnotes are usually at the bottom of the page.

Go figure what this means for her reading skills.

You're so right! (`ლ`)

Just marking the pages that she interprets to mean what she wants, and the ones that she interprets to make her feel good about doing shitty things to people.