It's scary how often you post memes that happen to be relevant to a conversation I was having IRL. Are you spying on me, Stamets? :P
You're just boring (or in the right place!).
This was my experience with MTG. Dude was all excited to “teach” me how to play, made a deck for me and everything, and then whomped me on the second turn.
I never played again and still don’t know how
I've been trying this new pokemon tcg pocket. Going second is actually a huge advantage.
Third time's the farm
I unintentionally did this once. I still feel bad about it 7 years later. But hey, I won.
This has been my experience all 6 times I've tried to learn euchre.
Oh, come on, euchre isn't that bad. At the very least, you're playing with a partner that has a vested interest in helping you. Plus, if you're playing turn-up, it takes at least three hands to win if you're playing to 11 (and that's with the other team going alone and making it all three times).
Unless you're playing bid euchre, in which case you can score...I don't know... up to 12 points per hand if you go alone? I'm a bit fuzzy on the scoring for bid euchre as it's been years since I played and I didn't grow up with it, but IIRC you usually play to a much higher point value, so it still takes a couple rounds to get to a win. But if you're just learning, you probably shouldn't be playing bid euchre, anyway.
Of course, if the other team gets lucky you can wind up with each if those hands bring decided in one trick each, so it can feel like the posted comic, but at least the rules aren't as complicated as M:tG.
You know, rereading what I just wrote, maybe it is nearly as bad as Magic.
Every time this comic gets reposted it gives me an opportunity to, in turn, post this.
Response.
?
This is a wild turn one combo that will win if both players have the same starting life. Assume 20 life each, you play the first card to give you 3 green mana, you play the second card using 2 green mana. This card let's you use 19 of your life for mana leaving you at 1 life and 19 manager + 1 from the previous card. You play the third card which gives you one red mana (totals are 20 green, 1 red) and finally now you can use the last card by paying one red and X (X can be any number you choose as long as you can pay it). In this case X is going to be 20, for the 20 green you had dealing a perfect 20 damage to the other player leaving them at 0 life and yourself at 1 life.
This combo works for whatever life total as long as yours is greater than or equal to Theirs
Others beat me to the punch, but see my other comment here:
Can you explain this for people who haven't been 11 in a very long time?
This is a first turn win if you draw all four of these cards in your opening hand.
Black Lotus and Mox Ruby can be put down on your opening turn, and since they are not lands you are not limited to playing just one of them. If you are poor you can substitute the ruby with a regular old mountain. Basically, I only employ the ruby here to firmly illustrate that I am indeed an asshole.
If you are poor, cheeky, and lucky you can replace the Black Lotus with 3 Lotus Petals and still theoretically draw all the cards you need to do this with your opening hand.
- Sacrifice the Black Lotus for 3 green mana.
- Spend 2 green manna on the Channel, pay 19 life, gain 19 colorless mana.
- Tap the Mox Ruby for 1 red mana.
- Use that 1 red mana to cast Fireball. Dump all 19 colorless mana from your Channel, plus the one green left over from the Channel into that fireball.
- Fireball does 20 damage to your opponent. You take 19 damage from Channel. You are left at 1 life, but your opponent is dead.
Realistically, just being able to show people this hand will discourage them from engaging you at all in any type of no-holds-barred play. They'll hide behind their silly Modern or Commander formats or whatever, where Black Lotus is banned and Channel is either restricted or banned.
Wimps.
This is often what it feels like when learning a new card game with people who know the game. You lose every round for the first week and it's supposed to be "fun".
For mtg I made a commander deck specifically for teaching new players. Put a lot of work into making it approachable, lots of options with clear cause/effect, and a few lucky cards that can pull a win out of nowhere against better decks. It doesn't have consistency but especially when people aren't paying attention to the new player it can give some satisfying wins to help keep the newbie excited. People forget that you need someone to be excited or they're not going to want to play again and you've just burnt a future shared interest
There are of course also Magic: The Gathering decks that can do that on a lucky first hand.
My favorite is this one, which in the abstract can do literally anything a computer can do. Yes, You can in theory run Crysis on a Magic deck. During your opponent's turn.
I never really played MtG, but I love reading about degenerate combos. My favourite uses an unglued (or un- something) card that can remove any card with a silver border you can see from your seat from play. Doesn't have to be a card in the game you're playing, other people nearby as valid targets.
The silver border part makes sure it can only be played on other silly un- cards, but there's a combo with a card allowing to change a colour in an effect to something else, meaning with a bit of support from a few other cards you could technically use this to nuke all cards in all unrelated games around you.
I honestly loved playing yugioh back in like 2004 ish. A buddy of mine told me he played online and offered to show me how to do it. It was almost exactly this. It might be fun for someone who's played the whole time, but I liked the clever decks with card combos that would take time to build up.
Yeah, for me part of the fun of Yu-Gi-Oh was having really cool cards in your deck that was a big moment when you summoned them (I was a kid, times were simple)
But now newer decks summon and tribute like 8 monsters in a single turn, it's outrageous, and if you don't know every card by heart you'll just be stun locked trying to figure out why you got destroyed
That's why I prefer to play legacy decks if at all
Yeah that's exactly it, or even a combination of just a handful of cards to combo a cool effect, but it was like 6 cards total, and it took like 10 turns to maybe pull out
Reminds me of
I was hoping to find ProZD in here!
And that's why I only play Pokemon TCG. That, and the fact it's far more affordable than other card games.
Me trying to be nice and teaching a newbie how to play chess but cant resist the urge to instictively play the fried liver checkmate. 😈
Went to a software engineering conference years ago in utah. Walked up to a table and was invited to sit down. Never felt so lost in my life. Those Mormon boys know how to table top card play. Wow.
