It took a lot of work, but I've created the definitive Linux distro flowchart

I'd rather someone's first choice about Linux was which DE to use. This plays a way bigger part in first impressions.

~~The obvious choice is KDE, ofc~~

I totally agree, that's a way more important factor when you're starting out with Linux.

~~Gotta be Gnome though~~
That's a strange way to spell Xfce.
- Maybe you misheard LXQT?
DEs are clearly bloat, so the best DE is no DE.

~~Definitely not just because I prefer i3~~
DE? WM!

~~ctwm rocking along nicely since last century~~

Whatever, I always say, use what you want when you want to dive into things. When you don't want to dive into things, use either IOS when you can afford it or Windows. (As long as they don't expect help with the last 2 ;) )
The arrangement of Start menu hardly matters. Virtual desktops are indispensable though. And I can restart crashed Plasma in 35 seconds.
Maté is awesome

You missed the step where you tell everyone what distro you use, and that its the best.

Five minutes after you installed it and haven't tried anything else.
- I feel personally attacked lol
- HaHa Same
I use Mint, btw
I use SteamOS btw

(Which is arch based meaning.. I use arch btw lol)

Otherwise Debian stable is my go-to set it and forget it server OS
Needing to feel superior is meaningless. Feeling just in your distro decisions is something you can only give to yourself when you are honest. If I need to shame your decisions based on your needs, I know I am doing something wrong and I need to distro hop. I should feel self sufficient in my choices, and so should you. I encourage your distro usage and hope you master it enough to suit your needs.

Searched, not googled. Google is bad, M'kay?

Reference

Drugs are bad, M'kay? Don't do drugs.

Hannah Montana Linux is the best distro! It leaves out all those newfangled things like Wayland, GNOME 3, SysVInit and gives you Hannah Montana.

newfangled... SysVInit

You mean systemd? Cause SysVInit was created in 1991 based on Unix System V from 1983. Which means it's literally older than Miley Cyrus.
- Frankly i don't know much about Linux. I was looking for some boot programs and i thought SysVInit was one of the newer ones after systemd. My gf uses Void Linux and it has some boot program that is supposedly less bloated than systemd.
I'm personally a huge fan of Red Star OS.
- It's the best Linux distro and only the best OS is enough for our glorious leader Kim Jong-Un! I heard he has the nuclear launch button integrated right into GNOME 2.

What if I don’t want to use whatever I want? What if I want my distro forced upon me?

I've decided that you have to use Slackware
- Thank you sir. May I have another?
- It's been a long time since I've played around with Slackware, wonder how it's doing lately. Might need to find an extra machine to throw it on.
- Wow, 1.3 was fun, as was RedHat 4.2 (guessing,. version on infomagix nov '95 CD set, can't find it now). Most fun though was kicking them off and dumping Debian on there early '96. (yeah, ~~fan boy~~ lazy admin that doesn't want re-installs for major upgrades)
- Lol, this is exactly what happened to me

Install Gentoo

the ultimate beginner's distro, it's a great start before moving on to something complicated like mint
Oddly, Gentoo was where I started out when I got serious about using Linux. That was when I was in my 20’s and I wanted to get every last bit of performance out of my computer. Also, breaking stuff was fun and gave me a chance to figure new stuff out.

Now I just want stuff to work and be relatively up to date. So I use Debian testing.
- I've found a good compromise between the two. I've disabled most of the desktop profile USE flags and I compile everything with -Ofast and LTO
  
  Portage errors are uncommon, and build failures are easily fixed by disabling compilation flags from package.env. Build failures get less and less common as package.env grows (it's currently at about 20 lines)
  
  As for the kernel, I just started with a distribution kernel, disabled all modules and only enabled the ones that I need (this can automatically be done with make localmodconfig). These modules are built-in (so lsmod usually returns nothing)
  
  I chose systemd because of the huge increase in boot speed
What a madlad

Okay, but when most people are looking for advice on which distro to use it's because they don't know what they want.

Yeah, this meme is mostly to poke fun at the people who genuinely think that Linux Mint is only for beginners or you have to switch to Arch or whatever else, that kind of crowd.

I'm a little bit tempted to try and make an actual flowchart with distro recommendations since I've used and like most of the major ones at this point, but there are better resources out there than what I could contribute.
- Linux mint is the sort of distro newbies start with and long time linux users retire to after theyve explored the distro multiverse.

If beginner, use PopOS.

If Linux nerd, use Arch.

That's my guide. I don't like any other distros. :)

I started with Ubuntu and then migrated to Arch. I learned a ton about Linux and how tune everything for optimal performance!

...And then I went back to Ubuntu because I just want to work with my computer, not on it.
- Yeah many people say that but Ubuntu is not very good in my opinion. Outdated packages, snaps, commercials in the installer and so on. I would pick PopOS any day over that myself. But it's because I'm really sensitive to those things.
What about using Nobara for a guy who used Linux Mint and PopOS! ?

Dumb move?
- No, absolutely not dumb at all. I have tried almost all Linux distros myself over the years, and ran them for a while. It's fun. And maybe you like this one and stick with it.
  
  Either way you will learn new things just by trying it.
I started with Pop_OS then switched toto manjaro and now again switched to Pop
- It really is the best system for new people using Linux. Everything is so smooth and nice. Looking forward to the new cosmos desktop that is coming. :)

Hmm I don't see arch on here it must've gotten cropped

yeah that's my bad, here's a corrected version
- Perfection.
- "use Arch btw"

I was a huge distro hopper until I started using immutable distros. One thing no one tells beginners is that you do have to maintain your system more on Linux than other OSs because Linux gives you the rope to hang yourself with. I would always bloat my OS and things would get unruly, everything would slow down or become unstable and I would lose track of how I had everything set up. Immutability make things so much cleaner.

The endgoal: Linux from scratch.

The two things that matter when choosing a distro - package managers and desktop environment/window manager. And even then, universal package managers like Flatpak, Snap and AppImage can provide a substitute for the package managers.

Which distro should you pick? -> openSUSE tumbleweed

I literally just switched to openSUSE yesterday because I'm trying out an Intel Arc GPU for a bit and wanted more recent packages than Fedora offers to give it the best chance possible. Gotta say...it's really good. Once I'm done testing the Intel card, I don't think I'll be switching back.
The distro itself is pretty good, but the repos are missing many packages, and it can get pretty frustrating.
- You can use opi to install packages from packman repo and open build service. It has pretty much everything.

Sums up what I did

Mainstream choice? Raspbian it is

I was going to joke about compatibility, but apparently there is a version of Raspberry Pi OS for desktops...huh, TIL

I started with PopOS. Didn't like so many decisions being made for me so I started using Arch instead. Easy customization. Got tired of breaking systems. Jumped to Debian Testing. I think I'm settled.

You missed a third option;

"Just dive in you nerd."

Honestly from experience I've learnt that the yes answer also usually applies to the no answer because it's important to everyone. Advanced users tend to hit advanced issues and surprise, surprise, then community size matters all the same!

So since Linux is highly customizable and the choice of e.g. desktop environment matters little (just install whatever you want on any distro, including DE), community size is the most hard-earned property and thus usually trumps all.

So I personally try to keep closest to upstream regardless experienced or less experienced users => Debian if you adore those DEB packages and management, Fedora if you love those RPM packages and management, indie ones for indie packages e.g. Alpine, Arch... If you still run into issues it's usually you, not the distro because it's already battle hardened. :) But no worries, then you'll find a lot of help and the problem has usually already even been discussed and is googleable! It's 2023, none of the huge distros are plain shit and annoying, that's been ironed out like a decade ago. So just go with a (big) flow somewhere.

I've used 10 distros since 2008, all of as main system. I agree with you, but I think everyone should try a few distros until they find the right one for them.

Started with Ubuntu ended up with arch

@sharkfucker420 @atmur Same, its funny Kubuntu died on me twice on one year due to updates, while Arch hasn't died yet. Yes, it almost broke completly twice but I was able to fix it with help ( and always the error was related to my clumsiness ). And also, using arch has lead me to understanding many things about linux that I wouldn't pay attention in ubuntu.

Also, now I can say Arch BTW which probably is the main reason for moving ngl
- Unironically moved to arch for the meme
  
  Arch btw