I can't concentrate today. A close friend was in a bike vs car (cars fault) yesterday. They are still in hospital but ok -multiple fractures and chest trauma but could have been much worse. I spent yesterday babysitting and helping out and I thought I was ok but I keep getting the shakes today. I feel silly. I need to concentrate but I keep thinking about it.
I feel silly. I need to concentrate but I keep thinking about it.
Bro. Dont feel silly at all. PERFECTLY normal to have this reaction to trauma. Take a day off, be kind to yourself. Go for a walk, get a cuppa and process.
Thanks. I know that intellectually. I know that it's also smashed me right back to childhood where there were a couple of big bad life changing moments like this. I don't know why I expect I would ever be over that but I do. Thanks. I am gonna make a cuppa.
Spoke to my friend who got hit by a car. She's still in hospital and in for a big recovery but it could have been a lot worse. I'm so relieved. I just don't understand how someone can sail out onto a roundabout and clean up someone right in front of them on the roundabout (who also has right of way). I really like being on public transport more and more.
I almost had two accidents on round abouts the other day in my large bull bar'd van. Both times people cutting in front of me turning right. I'm one of the fewer people who use their indicators for direction and exit in the roundabout too. In retrospect, I'm thinking about selling it, so with the dash cam maybe I should just go for the write off.
My dental checkup this morning led to two fillings as well. One of them is just a fairly short term fix and I'll need to look at a crown when it fails. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the dental surgeon, who will be removing a broken tooth, before doing two implants in a couple of months.
I've been saving up towards all this for a while, but the money is going to be disappearing very quickly. The decision to sign up for extras on the health insurance again was definitely a good one - stretching the timeframe for getting the crowns over a couple of years will mean I'm getting more back than I have paid in premiums for at least 3 years, four if the filling today lasts long enough.
Going to the dentist is one of those things that absolutely fucking sucks, but sucks less than the alternative of not going to the dentist, unfortunately.
The lack of stability and positive role models in my life has led to having some absolutely fucked teeth. Today is going to hurt, but if I get all of my work done before March, I won't have to pay for any of it. After that, though, I think my teeth are going to be held on with tape and prayers (or more accurately toothpaste, mouthwash, Panadol, and prayers)
If you can, get a referral to Western Special Needs Dentistry - they are so damn good and completely non-judgey. They do a lot of work for people with sensory issues and phobias and are completely up to speed on that sort of thing. See my comment below.
Good for you! Dental stuff has to be the least favourite for most. Yeah, quotes on a new aligner run was 6.5k. Was hoping it’d be half that, so will be putting that off till next year.
None of it is cheap. I'm grateful I'm in a position that the work can be done and that I can manage to afford it. My mother has a lot of problems with her teeth, can't get implants because she does not have enough bone density (and it wasn't available earlier in her life when it might have been possible) and she is having a lot of trouble with dentures not fitting well. It really impacts what she is able to eat. It has very much motivated me to do everything I can for my teeth now. I'd rather skip a few holidays and drive an older car now instead of having all of those issues later. I just wish I could go back in time and get my younger self into good toothbrushing habits earlier in life so I'd have less work needing to be done now.
Maybe some very old fashioned notions of what constitutes masculinity. Back before the AIDS crisis of the 80s, it was fairly normal for men to be very very hesitant about wearing condoms - fearing that this would compromise said masculinity as well as being uncomfortable. And unplanned pregnancy for their wives/girlfriends was a validation of that same masculinity and was something to boast about. Attitudes like that stink on ice nowadays, but still happen.
Thanks Tiny, I've got the washing out! I must be on the same bus as this morning (RIP nose) and the driver's going flat out like it's Targa Coburg , so I may get home in time!
Got my uni results and even though I could've done better, I'm proud of myself for getting through despite going through a breakup. I'm sad I let it affect my results, but grateful that next semester, I can wholeheartedly focus on turning those results around, hopefully drama-free, with no one to disturb my peace :)
I'm grateful that I can drive with reasonable ease. I was in a major accident last year (hit by a semi trailer at high speed) and my car was squished. I somehow walked away with only minor injuries and I was back driving quickly, and I've made myself drive regularly, but it's only in the last few weeks that it's started to feel normal rather than something super stressful. Healing.
Grateful for cats, even though fluffle is in velcro mode and stopping me from getting stuff done. Time with kiddo on the school holidays, one day he'll be too big to want to hang with mum for the day. Understanding tutors who don't make you feel stupid when you went 500 miles in the wrong direction on an assignment. Sunshine. Home-made banana bread.
I'm not much of a baker, I made a few errors. Shredded instead of granular dessicated coconut being a big one. Turns out I used coconut flour instead of white, I found the label tucked away inside the jar. But there's no unmixing stuff so I've got this batch of maybe carlos.
Overwhelmed. When I had tinyest in their recently there was a kid with the same name as my kid who was just totally over it. I just wanted to give him a hug, his dad was doing his absolute best but just couldn't distract him. Dad probably needed a hug too.
Overwhelmed, and as it is also a medical centre the kid might have been feeling unwell to start with. I've broken down in tears at the chemist as an adult when I was feeling unwell, so I can definitely sympathise.
His Mum was managing to distract him for brief periods and he'd be all smiles for a short period, then the whole situation would dawn on him again and he would be on the floor wailing. I expect a long nap will be in his future and hopefully his afternoon is better than his morning was.
Ooh, what did you have? I had a dream that my sister was pregnant and it was such a convincing dream that I had to wake up and check my chats with her to make sure it wasn't real.
I didn't get woken up by 4am firetrucks last night (I've been woken up between 2-5am every night because I'm on the 2nd floor smack bang between 2 major roads), so that was helpful. I turned on the dehumidifier and air con last night because my room has been so humid recently and I think that helped too.
Not my best sleep, but I woke up feeling refreshed, so that's the main thing. I give it overall about 8.0/10
Yesterday was bleak. Hangover and new illness all hitting at once. Feeling better after a good sleep in. Taking the day off otherwise - without sick leave feels different, no work no money is the sucky part of being self employed.
I've always thought of dreams as basically being simulations and ways to prepare and consider the outcomes of certain things, even though they're often unrealistic.
When things were abusive at the last place, I often had dreams about what would happen if I reacted. They usually involved going too far and someone dying. Then me rotting away in prison for the rest of my life (until I woke up). If it wasn't for those dreams, I probably would've fought back. I don't and never will know if that was for good or bad, but it definitely helped me gain some perspective
Got to witness the birth of a bogan-mobile over the weekend. Some neighborhood teens were trying to install a f off exhaust on a red p plated commodore.... with a hammer. I REALLY wanted to roll up my selves and jump under the car with them and go "right, lets get this bastard on. Then we're tackling the sub and installing the LEDs strips under the dash right? Also if your headunit isn't already multicolored LED we're ripping that out too!"
Dentist went alright for me too. I went to a new one that's more of a community type one that's mostly subsidised. Because I'm under 18, it doesn't really matter where I go, I don't personally pay for any of that (it's either covered under school medical, the Medicare subsidies, or worst case child protection will pay for it), but I thought it'd be a good idea to switch to somewhere I can actually afford to go to once I age out as well. He cleaned my teeth, but didn't use any of that nice fluoride stuff my last one used. Just that water spray thing with that little standby tool on the end that sounds like someone scratching a plate with a streak knife.
My teeth, surprisingly, aren't as fucked as I was expecting. But I need a filling and all of my wisdom teeth are impacted, so I have to go back in a month for the filling, and get a referral to the dental hospital to have my wisdom teeth out. Scary stuff. No fun
Edit: it's just dawning on me that I've never had any sort of operation before that involves anaesthesia. That's the scariest of the parts
Sitting in a fish and chips shop in Melton and a dude saunters in wearing a dressing gown, beard and ponytail. This guy should be on a government list.
I saw a guy in the chemist dressed like Hugh Hefner at around lunch time, talking to the staff like they're his work mates, waiting for the little side door to open.
I cannot decide for the life of me if I want to start my piano lessons this term or next term. I need something to do right before the uni semester starts and also something to ground me besides the gym and cooking, but the exxy-ness is kinda putting me off.
I want to stop doomscrolling and do something meaningful with my time.
Do you already have a piano? You can always make a start yourself, learn the things you want to and lessons can be for theory and learning standard notation
There are some great piano basic courses on TouTube. You can get a very decent grounding on Piano for free. Get someone who plays to have a look at your hands after a bit in case your technique needs correcting.
This pathway requires a bit of self discipline, but then again - so does Uni.
Had a mate sell his first car recently. He is in his mid 30s now, and yes it was a toyota. Sad day for him.
I decided to look up my first car's rego. Loved the shit outta that thing, sold it probably 12 years ago? maybe more. It was utterly ruined when I sold it! A combination of its previous owner, age, high km and a young 20 something me living his rally fuckboi fantasies in it. The rego was cancelled jan this year. So it went on to be driven (or at least parked and rego paid) for another 12+ years. Cant believe it!
The quote I got to keep it on the road 2011/2012 was $10k. I sold it for 2.
Im a bit heartbroken. I coulda kept it going way longer than I thought.
Wonder if I can order the number plate and just shelve it for now till I can one day stick it on a WRX?
Dunno. I THINK the place I traded it in sold it for like 7-8k. Cant imagine you buy it then spend that money again on keeping her going. She was nice, but she wasnt a collectors item or anything.
my first was an Austin 1800 , then I got a Holden station wagon and after that a gemini diesel, then after that a bmw 318 , then an avocado saab, then a blue one, no car since then
I think my first car got hauled off for scrap. It was a Corolla, I think from some time in the 70s. The panels were about 50% fibreglass patches at that point and I was not in the slightest attached to it.
I managed to total the next two cars and claim insurance money, so even though I have bought 4 cars in my life I've never actually sold one.
If we're counting cars registered to me... I'm on my... 5th. But 1 of those was a holden cruze so its understandable why THAT didnt last long haha. And my 4th was sold to save my mrs's ass on her car.
Miss moobeans has decided that only the Dine Desire or Fancy Feast Royale will do. Noooo! They’re quite expensive and low in nutrition (and substance) but after a week of refusing the healthy affordable brand she remains steadfast. The posh stuff is mostly gel and smells artificially savoury like Maggi noodles. I wonder what they put in there.
Colesworth is like twice the price per tin so I will give up and order a slab or two from PC to keep her having wet food.
This is why I pushed myself out of the excessively comfy couch and threw together meal prep at 11:00pm last night. The joy of already having food available cannot be underestimated.
It's great having a workplace that is supportive of clear boundaries. Am learning to hesitate less when saying "no, I can't do any more". Could feel myself getting very tired and cranky if I pushed on into overtime again to do the one last overdue task, so I'm glad I got to leave on time, and the task got reallocated to someone else (who prolly should've done it themselves anyway).
Made the tacos today with the jackfruit and pickled onions and guac. Bloody delicious if I say so myself. Looking forward to more of it tomorrow and the day after! It's gonna be an early night for me, I think.
BOM app is showing me 50% chance of at least 1mm from 10pm onwards and not much before that. I'm going to guess most of this rain will be overnight and possibly during the morning commute tomorrow (joy...). Hopefully it clears up by the late morning. Gotta be out from 9-12.
Oh, it looks like raven isn't the only one going to the dentist today. I forgot I have an appointment later today, too. Thank god for notifications, I guess...
anyone know a place that does small (like, abotu five) plastic card / keyring runs? I've made up a bunch of little paper cards that I can just scan instead of trying to shove my phone into the CDS membership scanner, but even thick card get all crumply :(