I was watching Law n Order CI last night because Vincent D'Onofrio is awesome, and I heard a thwump from upstairs , a meow and then some pathetic helpless mews. I go upstairs and Ted is stuck in the laundry sink. He jumped up thinking it was a bench and a way up to sit on top of the dryer but was surprised and now stuck. Stuck because the edges of the sink are too narrow to balance on and Ted is too fat . I lifted him out. Poor little guy was out of sorts all night, didn't even want his dinner. Here he is just before I rescued him.
Poor Ted Cat. The missing landing surface is a terrible trick for any pet. One of my previous dogs attempted to jump onto a chair I was reupholstering, not realising the seat was missing and was very startled to find himself falling through straight to the floor. He never fully trusted a chair again.
I admit I laughed and got my phone, but only made him wait a few seconds. He needed pats and cuddles after rescue and I brought him a treat of roast chicken pieces to where he was hiding.
Aww, that face. Our previous cat fell in the toilet once. Luckily she got herself out. Didn’t stop her from continuing to drink toilet-water anytime the lid was left up, though
Ugh, I need to socialise with friends more. There's a meetup at a pub on Friday that my partners mates are going to and have invited us (and others). Partners ex-coworkers from an old job, have hung out with them heaps over the years.
I just want to hide away forever, like the longer I go without seeing mates the less I actually want to. Which is bad for my mental health, bc I usually justify it with self-destructive thoughts (like "you're not that funny or smart", "you're jobless so what's there to talk about?", "they just pretend to like you because they like [partner]", etc). Which is not healthy.
Wish I was socialised more as a kid, honestly, some of this I can tell is because I didn't have friends when I was a youngun
Of course this is all dependent on whether we're negative come Friday arvo, but I already feel dread and am wrestling with myself about this.
This is highly dependent on transport/partner also being willing to leave (and I know how hard it can be for adults to get together). But is it possible to go for just an hour or two and then leave?
True true! I have done that before and had a lovely time each time.
I think it's just, like, the depression. The simple chores, the simple self-care, the simple socialisation, is difficult to start but easy once I'm actually doing it.
I'm like an old lawn mower that required a good amount of arm strength and willpower to keep pulling the cord and pushing the machine at the same time to start, but once started, I'm revved up
My crud has progressed to a point where I can’t hear anything because my ears are blocked.
On the bright side, my flat is clean, my accounts are done and I’ve had a haircut. Now to do my neighbour/friend’s dishes - she’s not been well, and it’s something I can do to help her catch up on all the stuff she’s missed while she’s down
So, 4 interviews in 3 weeks as "Christian name" as opposed to 3 interviews in 4 months as actual name.
I wonder how they'll react when they think they're going to meet "Christian name" and get "actual name" instead.
Well today was interesting in the Chinese sense. Took the day off work cos dentist appointment at midday. Then bike got a flat tyre on way to dentist. Took bike to bike hospital to be mended and consigned my soul to public transport. Nearly late for dentist. Then dentist said YOU NEED TWO MORE FILLINGS THAN I PLANNED FOR YOU! So had to wait around in Niddrie central after the appointment was re-scheduled for later on in the day. After all that, had to go pick up bike before getting home.
On the plus side, Niddrie shopping strip is actually pretty nice. Lots of food options (which I couldn't take advantage of thankyou Mr Dentist) and some interesting clothes. I was particularly taken with a hot pink fitted faux fur vest in the window of one shop - teamed with a sleek black embroidered black on black shiny shirt underneath with leather look leggings and hot pink boots. Very Suzie Q. I sorta kinda wish I was 19 again, as at that age I'd wear that in a heartbeat. Also the last living Rivers store in captivity, and a pretty comprehensive range of specialty shops and wellness practitioners. Very few empty storefronts. They've widened the footpaths with one zillion caffs and there were lots of people out and about enjoying the sunshine. I'd actually make the trip there for clothes - not the faux fur though as I'm too long in the tooth now (dammit).
I've never been to Niddrie and its a running joke that most people haven't heard of it (although the ultimate mystery suburb is Travancore). I really ought to check it out one of these days!
If you're looking for a Vietnam BBQ for $17 including drink - Niddrie is where to go. Couldn't vouch for quality as mouth was numb but there's a host of dining options - turkish, bulgarian, japanese, vietnamese, chinese, aussie, mediterranean, greek you name it.
I got stuck there for an hour on a 43° day in 2019 with no water waiting for a tram that never came. I ended up seeking refuge in the library and hiding out there until I could figure out a way home. Fun times.
Didn't really have to punch that pH down with too much vinegar. Looks a bit under 4. Went for a little bit of apple cider, little bit of white wine and some white.
I tend to do this. It's just natural to me. Much of my communications early were via text on like games or messaging apps. It's just how my thoughts come out idk
Always love when I get an incoming call from Mrs B going "Now dont panic, everything is fine! But.... someone bit Tinyest"
"Oh damn! Is everyone ok?"
"Yeah so turns out Tinyest stuck his fingers in someone elses mouth, the other kid bit down and Tinyest was surprised to discover that getting bitten hurts".
"....." least i dont have to save for Uni!
I slept early then woke around 12am... Then while half-snoozing together kitty twitched and accidentally socked me in the eye 😅 After that we each had a midnight snack (a few crackers and cocoa for me, wet food for her).
Bummer
Edit: Fuck even the crackers still hurt though. I'm still struggling really badly to eat anything.
I beat myself up a lot for not being focused on art but tbh I'm in an amount of (chronic unmanaged) physical pain on a daily basis that does make it quite difficult to focus. Not whining or looking for sympathy. Just stating a fact that there is a genuine barrier there, and cutting myself some slack.
It really sucks being chronically ill - it goes on for so long people just forget about it and it becomes the new normal. Totally get the beating up- stuff needs to be done and there’s a lot of guilt. Take care, and keep posting….
Woke up this morning feeling a bit damp but didn't connect the dots until the water had soaked through a couple of layers all the way to the mattress. Bum.
I guess I didn't seal the lid properly or something.
The rubber perishes over time. Especially round the input plug. If your bottle is more than a year old, it's probably that. If the inside of the bottle is sticky it's certainly that and bottle should be replaced.
That's my biggest fear with those things! I'm glad you didn't burn yourself, that could've been real nasty. I know modern ones have special covers and whatnot, but when I was a kid my mum had those real old-school ones and I was always scared of them.
Johann Hari, https://johannhari.com/ , dropped another really timely book this week, this time on Ozempic and other weight control drugs, why we get fat and how to not get fat. The problem is going back to a good diet doesn't reverse the hormonal effects of a bad diet. Intervention may be required for a while.
And while I cook good meals from basic ingredients I also eat too much and eat some junk, not much junk , but obviously enough to mess me up.
I'll get back to youse guys when I finish the book. 👍
Hmm... the period underwear does the job but they have drawbacks that mean I'm not loving them. No idea if it's because they're cheap Kmart knockoffs but... err. Yeah. :/
I found my old menstrual cups but while they look to be in good condition with no damage they're like 10 years old now, and have been stored improperly, so even after washing and boiling I'd be concerned about safety/TSS. Wondering if it's worth the considerable outlay to buy another one or two.
(I'm aware that there are more affordable brands than my preferred one but those ones don't suit me at all and there's no point in buying them.)
I love my bonds period undies..... But I don't trust them, especially on a work day that happens to be day 2 or 3. I looked at the Kmart ones but I've invested so heavily in the bonds ones I don't want to start again, because $$$$.
The Kmart ones are like $12, and in a certain size and print they were down to $7.
TMI
These ones seem to contain everything reliably. I'd even trust them for a slight leak from a cough or sneeze at A Certain Age or after kids. They hold a bit and averted an overnight disaster. Reasonably comfortable.
But let's just say they smelled a bit weird and funky to me even when brand new and unused. The freshness while wearing is lacking (wetness and smell). You also want to rinse them out and hand scrub them thoroughly with liquid hand soap before the wash - since a thorough rinse, an overnight detergent soak and then the washing machine cycle did not properly clean them. Possibly due to the thickness of the cloth layers.
These are a little bit bulky, about the same as a pad, so you might not want to wear leggings. Breathability isn't great so if you wear them regularly as normal undies, too long even when dry, or for a few days in anticipation you will probably get thrush.
These things might not be an issue with pricier brands but I'm not risking it.
All in all I'll still probably use these at home as a backup for a tampon or a cup. Or put them on overnight if I suspect an impending visit. But even when clean they just smell odd. If I'd known of these things I might still have bought a few pairs but I would have only bought a few on the $7 clearance.
Period undies would possibly be good for a kid around that age that has been showing signs so they don't get caught off guard at school, but you'd want to pick ones that didn't smell so weird, and send them with a plastic bag and spare undies w sanitary products they could quickly change into.
I have 4 pairs of period undies, all different brands, and all bought from woolies when they were on sale. The bonds are the best pair I have, the others are made from true synthetic material and I find I get sweaty. Like the part that goes around the waist, is just plastic.
The bonds are the most comfy, and they hold quite a lot. I chuck them (any pair of my undies) in the washing machine on a short rinse cycle, and then throw in detergent for a longer proper wash and it does the job.
I have never tried a menstrual cup, I've wanted to but I don't know if I trust them lol. I've heard good things, but I'm scared of a leak haha
Otherwise, it's tampons and pads, although last time I fell asleep with a tampon in and felt very not good the next morning until I took it out 👀
The days are getting better. Things I am grateful for :)
Today I got a chocolate covered croissant with a friend. She gave me a gorgeous terrarium with a pink philodendron for my birthday and other pink leafy plants. Without even knowing that I love those plants, she thought it would be perfect for me.
Called a friend from work for an hour.
Cried in a soundproof pod at uni and am so grateful that I got to sit in one of those.
Journalled a bit and realised how grateful I am that I don't have to be anxious anymore waiting for someone to show me that they love me. I also don't have to go around catering to an extremely judgemental and picky person's tastes, like music, movies, places to eat. He was very snobby about these things. I feel so free.
I added items to my achievable bucket list. Visit the DMZ between the Koreas and try pole. Two very different things. For some reason, I went down an internet rabbit hole on North Korea a couple of years ago. Would recommend listening to The Lazarus Heist podcast if you're interested in the DPRK.
I deleted Instagram because I know I would unfortunately stalk my ex and his company. I am no longer doom-scrolling through sad breakup reels and other things that are a waste of time. I have experienced the JOY of missing out. Thought it would be super difficult to give up social media like that but it is helping me live in the present moment. It's so freeing to consume YouTube and movies as opposed to solely short-form mind-numbing content. Gives you more to talk about too. I am keeping in contact with maybe five friends over text and the others? It helps you realise who really has your back. Quality over quantity. My friends have been screenshotting pictures of cute animals to send to me, and although I'm sad I can't return the favour like that, it makes me happy.
Doing my assignments is still really difficult. I will try to apply for extensions.
Tomorrow I am visiting the GP and then the day after, I am touring a gym that's nearby.
I am looking forward to getting myself back. I might cry tomorrow. I might agonise over the future or the past. But whilst it hurts, this change is one of the best things that I think has happened to me. I am so relieved for some reason.
There's gonna be a new community on aussie.zone about health and fitness so make sure you join. Be kind to yourself and do nice things for you. I think you've got everything covered.
Hey @[email protected] we should create a health and fitness community where we can post videos and achievements etc. I'll post it and see if anyone is interested.
I don't know. I've put it to the people in the post I made. We'll give it 24 hours. Maybe someone here can give it a good name otherwise just leave it as health & fitness.
Whoops posted in the wrong thread. That's a good sign that I'm staying off the phone.
I've been thinking of trying this cool vegan shepherd's pie recipe but I think I'll keep it for a colder month. For now I'm contemplating a basic roast veg for dinner, or... maybe some adaptation of borscht? I have 1 fennel bulb, 2 beetroots, potat, and a quarter head of red cabbage. Plus a tin of beans.
E: went with borscht adaptation. There's no fennel in there but plenty of leek, a bit of celery, two beets and two potat plus some leek greens. Not authentic but tastes pretty alright once cooled down.
I may have added a fair chunk of butter 😬 and I snuck in some ajwain seeds as a thymey alternative to carroway + helps with digesting the cabbage. Adding a chunk of miso paste was probably a step too far, but whatevs. Umami 😎
Much better, not as snotty or sore. My left nostril is still swollen and blocked, but otherwise fine.
Definitely healing. I hope I'm negative by this Sunday, it's my family's April/May birthday bash and I haven't seen the grandparents, aunts'n'uncles, and cousins in a while.
Although... One of my cousins has three kids with an antivaxxer and their kids are unruly and utterly gross. So maybe I "will" still be unwell by then... 👀😅 I really dislike his partner, she's a lovely person, but her "vaccines give kids AuTiSm" spiel really triggers me.
Ugh sorry to vent lol. I'll go if I'm negative, but I'm not gonna take the blame if her kids get sick.
I've been poking through old emails for a while and found my old library card number. Out of curiosity I logged in (apparently they don't shutdown your account after 2 years like the others I've been with). Apparently I forgot to return an item and my accounts been barred with a $50 fee. Honestly not as bad as I was expecting, although I don't remember them ever emailing me about it.
Apparently they've also rebranded which is nice. I remember them as being a drab grey building with "area library corporation" written on it. Apparently they've dropped the corporation part of it and redecorated, which is nice
Edit: the book is over 6 years overdue, so at least it's not a monthly fee 😂
I mean this is the nicest possible way, but... you understand that means you'd have to LIVE in Geelong, right?
You cant even go home and take a shower because you'd just be showering IN Geelong.
Hmmm. When I keep being told I need to fix things because I’m the problem, and I have to come up with a plan…. It’s not looking promising. If there’s no connection because we have drifted apart due to stress and no quality leisure time, how is it me that’s the problem, when I called it out AND tried to make plans to fix it (going out somewhere together every fortnight because he is sooooo busy) Sorry for airing dirty laundry, just feel hopeless, seems a shame to throw away 20 years like that.
And cost of living makes it a nightmare to split up.
It's worth it but it may take some time to find the right counselor that's a fit for the both of you. The first one we tried didn't sit well with us, we are now seeing another one who is more on our level. It means the both of us approach the session in a more positive light and we both take the feedback on board, rather than starting the session in a negative way and putting up a block because we feel the counselor doesn't understand us
Been doing it for about 18 months this time around, break before that, then for about a year before that. It's definitely not a waste of time for us. Two kids, mortgage pressures, redundancies, loss of close friends to cancer, general stresses of everyday life all contribute to relationship difficulties. It really helps to have a third party give perspective in a safe calm space. Expensive, but if it's the right counselor then totally worth it.