[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation @lemmy.world TIN @feddit.uk 9mo ago

Men: shopping with women

Having trouble phrasing this, so in case it's not clear I'm not looking for casual misogyny thanks

Having a debate with a friend about whether men shopping with women can be fun and I'm wondering how coloured my view of this is by me and my ex.

I'd love to hear what makes a great shopping experience for you with your friends or significant others!

42 comments

I think it's not so much about the genders of the shoppers, but rather their approach to shopping that is most telling. I take after my mother: I'm a Combat Shopper. When I enter a store, I have a specific plan of action, and my goal is to execute it as swiftly and efficiently as possible and get out. My father, on the other hand, was very much a lookie-loo shopper. He would spend hours at the store slowly walking up and down every aisle trying to think if anybody he knew would want whatever bit of tat was on the shelves in front of him. Drove me fucking nuts to shop with him.

I think that combat shoppers can shop with other combat shoppers, and lookie-loo shoppers with others of their ilk, but pairing one with the other is a recipe for hurt feelings.
- My take away from this is the phrase combat shopper
- This is my experience also. Me and the wife are both combat shoppers. We plan, we go in, cart blazing, we execute the plan, we get out and away. If either of us was the other kind of shopper, it wouldn't work really.
  
  @Irinir me and my partner are both normally combat shoppers as well. I think @elbucho's right.
  
  There are certain shops (e.g some bookshops) where one or the other of us might want to looky loo and we generally leave each other to it.
- My mode depends on what I'm shopping for and how much time is available, whether I feel like wandering, and whether I know the store at all.
  
  Let's say I need, idk, a 6TB drive from Microcenter but I have like an hour to get it. Combat mode.
  
  By contrast, this morning I felt like looking for some used blu rays at the thrift store and also felt like being a looky-loo.
  
  If it is something we are both shopping for like garden decor, or we are there to browse like for antiques or furniture, then it's fun browsing.
  
  I kind of feel like combat shopping is better solo. Unless the person can walk fast and help me find the thing if I don't have precise Intel on location.
  
  Having another person could be redundant unless you don't know exactly what you want and need to compare and discuss a few candidate items.
- Aaah, this describes me too. I particularly hate thrift shopping, because I always want something specific and the likelihood of finding it in a thrift shop is slim to none. I value my time more than a chance of monetary savings, I guess.
- I vary between combat and lookeeloo, depending on the shop.
- I take after my mother: I'm a Combat Shopper.
  
  My father, on the other hand, was very much a lookie-loo shopper.
  
  There’s always two types of people, and they usually marry each other.
- I love this classification!
- What mode I'm in depends why I'm at the store. Am I getting specific items and GTFO or am I looking for a solution for a problem. I cook a lot so I know what I want and when I go to the grocery store, it's fast. If I'm looking for a solution, potentially to fix or remodel something I'll probably peruse through home Depot for some time.
- Totally! You explained it really well.
  
  My partner and I are the lookie-loo shoppers. We often cover stores aisle by aisle. It's entertaining for us for different reasons. We like to see what people are buying, especially things like books, clothes, etc. We like to talk about the products and the things that follow; for example, we start by noticing the variety of flavors in pets food and end up talking about animals, foods, etc. We like to learn about new products, as we are often out of the loop and it's nice to find new gadgets or kitchen accessories this way. We try new things, like "try me" lotions or whatever. Overall, it is a fun experience.
I go shopping with my wife sometimes and do standard husband things:

Hold up a bathing suit and ask, "Does this make my butt look big?"

Feel up women's pajamas with suggestive looks...

Read the ridiculous phrases on their clothes and just riff on 'em

Act like a child and try to hide behind some thin dress like she can't see me, then pop out and accuse her getting scared

Suggest ridiculous accessories and insist she'd like good in them (she would...but it's not her style)

In sum, pretty much everything except help her shop
- Is your wife named Donna?
  
  Ugh. I hate puns, but that was funny!
- I'll add hitting on the mannequins and slapping their asses when I walk by.
Depends, am I in a women's only clothing store holding their bags while I'm left alone and trying not to make eye contact with strangers? And then when I want to check out a store that only has things I like I'm told they don't want to go?

Or are we shopping in a store or place where there are things for both of us and we can talk to each other about what we're doing?
- I can relate so much. Have older 2 sisters and only my mom would bring us shopping. Little ol me was dragged to all sorts of girly places I had no desire to be in. So much make up, clothes, bath bombs, fancy soap shops, I wanted to tear my eyes out.
I find thrifting to be more fun. My wife and I alternate moods on whether we want to shop for clothes, furniture, odds and ends, or books.
Have shared interests and go shopping along those interests. Focus more on the social experience and hanging out then actually finding something to buy
- I love that take, thank you
I'm a woman who hates shopping. I like nice clothes, but spending time in a mall is my idea of torture most of the time. shrug

If I'm going shopping, it's because I need something specific and it's more like a scavenger hunt, which can be fun if I'm in the right mood.
- My wife also hates clothes shopping. She used to get stressed out about it to the point where she would put it off until it was absolutely necessary, and then I would need to go and help her find things at the store.
  
  Thankfully, she has got over that now. She still doesn't like clothes shopping and puts it off as bit. But when she needs to, she has more patience when looking for clothing and doesn't need (or want) me there to suggest things. So it's pretty much a perfect situation (for me at least).
  
  I prefer to buy things online. I'm assuming your wife is the same but sometimes shops in person to try stuff out. Something that really helped me was taking my body measurements and checking the size charts online.
- Interesting. I went shopping to a big mall by myself recently to shop to replace my slightly rubbish clothes selection. I had remote help from someone I know who would say "you need a baby blue t shirt, it goes with your eye colour" and I'd go out and find one of those that I liked.
  
  Now you mention it, that is much more of a game/scavenger hunt. Perhaps that's why I preferred it!
- As a guy, this is why I love working from home since Pandemic. Since I no longer have to look professional, most of my clothes shopping is online order from CarHart or LLBean
Depends.

I’m ok with shopping a little, but after some amount of time I get bored unless we go to new stores or break it up with lunch. Overall I’d give us an A-.

If it’s groceries though…I go up and down the aisle, picking stuff from our list. She goes down her list and is going back and forth across the entire store. I can’t handle that very well. I’d give us a C rating.
Honestly if you're into the girl anything can be fun.

I haven't gone shopping with my GF yet but I could see it being fun both of us helping the other pick out things we'd like to see them in.
- Yeah that worked for us for a lot of years. I don’t have the patience for shopping, especially for clothes, but I could spend an entire day walking around chatting with my ex (when we were together). I wouldn’t even pay attention to where we were or what we stopped at because then I wouldn’t like it
My husband takes me clothes shopping and picks out and makes me buy things I wouldn't normally because he says I should wear colours. I have many pairs of pink pants as a result.
- This makes me happy
  
  Also neat seeing you in the wild! Usually see you on your main community :D
  
  Ahahaha I'm becoming Lemmy notorious am I?
I've this before with my mum and sister. They like it, but I really don't like being at the shops, I just want to get what I came for and leave as soon as possible lol
- See above from elbucho, I guess that makes you a combat shopper!
  
  Sounds about right lol, my dad's like that to
My GF and I are generally not that into shopping, but if we do I enjoy it. I like to suggest clothes for her, though she usually goes for safer options than what I suggest. We are somewhat similar types, so it's mostly what I would wear if I was a woman.
- Hah, we had the opposite. I’m your stereotypical oblivious person who never paid attention to style and fit. My clothing choices got so much better with my ex’s help
- Egg
  
  I thought about that for a while, but I think it's not that. At least not entirely. Probably some kind of non conforming fluidity kind of deal

42 comments