Don't give a fuck about it. Get a skilled labor job. Retail is soul-sucking. You want to be the guy who can build a work shed out of a pile of wood, not the guy who knows where the aisle of tuberware is.
I made the decision to go back to school. There were various life reasons why I was unable to make that decision in my 20's, but I am happy to have the opportunity to learn again with a renewed sense of drive and direction.
Hey there, I went back at 33, and it took me 4 years to get my AA. But I did it, and got a job that more than doubled what I was making before.
You're going to love classes in your 30s! It's so fun to learn, and you'll make friends with your teachers. It was hard at times, but it felt really good to accomplish! If you need support to talk about it, r/backtoschool was a great place for me to vent or ask for advice.
First, let me say thank you for this kind comment. Oddly enough I also happen to be 33, so it really means a lot to me to get that encouragement from someone else who was literally in the same boat, and made it out the other side successfully. If you don't mind me asking, what did you study when you went back?
I wish my parents-in-law would cut our life line. They're retired, too, and have a lot of time to make recommendations about your finances when we use a zero-based budget. They don't know the particulars of the budget...but that doesn't stop them from expecting impossible stuff. I just want to be free again...
So, my folks gave me a chunk of cash along with it.
It was basically "hey, economy is maybe going tits up. You're doing fine. Here's you're lifeline in cash. It's you when you were unemployed during the pandemic before the govt funds hit x 3years. Do with it whatever but we can't predict the future and you're doing ok and we're gonna need to budget the rest ourselves."
It's funny because in the same breath they were like "Christmas is gonna be slimmer this year. Don't expect much for gifts."
I'm super grateful. But it made me realize: I wish they calculated this number fucking 10 years ago. I know I woulda fucked up a chunk of it but Im sure I'd be better off today.
So, my advice to someone in a situation I was in a year or three ago would be to have an honest conversation with your parents. If you're financially responsible and debt free or at least able to save while making clear progress on that debt...
"Hey... Listen... I don't need an exact number. But I have a proposal. So be conservative here: what amount of my lifeline would you reach out and say "hey what's going on?" To get info?
Let's just say it's $250 in 1 month.
"Okay... How long are you planning on .. keeping this here for me? Until you die? You're what 70? Okay, so if you live til 90, then it's what? $60k? I'm asking you to just wire me 60k and let me start taking more responsibility.
Hell, make it 40k! Go on a wild vacation!"
Or suggest the two of you sit down with his or your own financial planner. Talk about how best to handle this, instead of taking advice from some dude named foggy on the fediverse.
For complicated reasons over which we have had very little control, we have had to move house 3 times in the last 5 years.
In April of this year, thoigh, we finally found somewhere that we both really love and which should be pretty much permanent. I am very happy about that.
I know it sounds terrible, but it really needed to happen. I'm waiting on my bone grafts to set before starting on my first set of implants. Even with my plastic partials, it's a whole new world. I don't think I had cracked a genuine smile since highschool. Now I can't stop.
I have a boss who's in his mid-forties. After I was out a few days for my wisdom teeth, I was talking to him and he says ever since he was a kid his dentist has said he seriously needs his wisdom teeth removed. Man gives me the biggest smile and says "and I've been putting it off for 40 years! ", made me wince. I would be terrified at the prospect of getting them out after that long.
It really depends on spacing and if they're impacted. I had mine out at 35. Wasn't a big deal, but I had other teeth that were congeniality missing, along with gum disease, so nothing was really well attached.
it is really bugging me that you are getting heavily downvoted for this. it's not like you are actively proselytizing here. i am sorry people are so shitty.
i think belief in (some type of) god is probably pretty healthy. unfortunately, my life experience has led me to a failure to believe in anything at all.
As someone who has found a faith that works for me, personal, nonreligious and without a figurehead god, I've seen a lot of concrete benefits from exploring different ways of walking through reality. For me there was a huge difference between the sensation of feeling like a cosmic fluke, blown around in a confusing and random reality, and finding a way to feel like I'm an integral part of time and space.
It was a decision I had to make, years ago, for my own well-being. I've seen many others make their own personal, spiritual changes, for similar reasons to mine. Some move away from their childhood religions, towards faith structures that feel more healthy to them. Some return to theirs. I've also known people who've found meaning, comfort and purpose through studied, focused atheism and agnosticism.
You can probably tell by my tone that I'm not a big fan of organized religion. Any god that can be boxed up isn't really what I'm looking for. That said, I know from personal experience how powerful that sort of change in perspective can be. It's exactly the type of thing that could find high ranks in one's best of the year list.
Short term (enjoyment for this year): I bought a motorcycle, something I've wanted to do for years but finally had the money and independence to do so this year
Long term (this will affect my future life in a good way): I got a summer research internship as a college student, which gives me valuable experience for later in life
Everything sucked. 2023 was a calamity for me. I lost my best friend, I had a burnout, I got sick a lot, and it forced me to take 2 full weeks off to take care of myself in early December.
Those 2 weeks for myself are arguably the best thing I had this year however. I'll try to repeat this every year.
That sounds a lot like my 2022. Burnout is rough, I still feel I'm not fully where I want to be. I'm glad you were able to get some rest, and I hope 2024 is kinder to you
My daughter (born 3 months early in mid-2022) was discharged from needing oxygen 24/7. After months of having to lug her tank and pulse oximeter around everywhere, even across a room, a wireless baby was a game-changer.
She's made huge progress in so many other ways, but this was the big one for us
2
I got to ride an old ZSSK 012 carriage. It's not comfortable, and it's also quite loud inside, but there's passenger seats in the back. The view makes it really worth it.
I started volunteering at a childrenโs theatre. Just finished the third of three production runs, seeing kids from 8 to 18 astound audiences with performances that surpass professional productions Iโve seen. Itโs renewed my belief in the power of the arts to change lives, when my whole training and professional life has been in the sciences.
Hey just for my knowledge. My kids are proficient violin players and I heard from a friend that at some point the school theater teacher is going to plead with them to join so they can finally do Fiddler on the Roof. Anything to this? It is actually one of my favorite pieces, would love to see them on stage.
Seeing your kids on stage is magicโmy son has been in various professional and amateur roles since he was 10. He can act and sing, which opened up musicals too. Having several aspects to performance has definitely helped him. Actor musicians can be in great demand, but since there are few (compared to actor / singer / dancer), I donโt think there are as many opportunities as there might be.
If your kids are ok with the acting side, definitely encourage them.
On a related note, I was also involved in the building of a new theatre at my kids school, and I tried to convince them to not restrict it to the music and drama departments. No matter what field youโre going to go into, being confident in front of an audience (even just presenting on your own subject) is a valuable skill that theatre can teach. Iโm now grey enough to not worry about speaking to an audience. I wish Iโd had that confidence earlier in my career.
I got a job that doubled my income and gave me the free time to do things like start a garden, learn macrame and spend a lot more uninterrupted time with my family. It was really life changing.
If I could undo this year I might though. I had 5 family members die including my grandma who raised me, my wife and I had a devastating miscarriage, my causing got hit by a car and may not be able to walk, I was diagnosed with a heart condition and put on lifelong medication and still might need open heart surgery, my deadbeat dad got out of jail and has been harrasing my mom and sister, and the icing on the cake, last week our best cat died.
My eldest daughter is doing so well in violin that her school had to create a special level just for her and is busing her around to other string groups in the district for performances so they sound better.
Having a job with the right level of challenges, and freedom to approach it how one want, is the best job to have. I've worked at a place like that for more than a decade now. I could probably move on to better paid jobs, but I'm hesitant to let go of my current workplace.
I fucking hated work for big tech. Like every single creative part of me was being sucked away.
I work for a corporation you have never heard of now. We are a subcontractor of a subcontractor and get to do the actual engineering. There is a towering bureaucracy above us that adds no value and gets all the credit. Which I am fine with, they can have the credit I have the glory.
Got a job that I really like and is very lenient when I come in. I have some medical condition that makes a job and life nearly impossible, some days I feel debilitatingly horrible at complete random. It feels like there's 200 pounds strapped to my back, and I have done that before so I know it really feels like that. Thankfully my boss is very lenient when I come in so if I feel like crap I can take the day off. If I suddenly feel like crap 2 hours into the day, no biggie I can go home early.
Granted it's minimum wage and I'm arguably being underpaid for my level of expertise but the flexibility of my workplace is priceless.
This was my covid makeup year. I sold the house I bought in 2020 and got one that suited me instead of whatever I could afford (my old apt was intentionally too small to spend time in so I could save for a house), I had a proper wedding ceremony to make up for the courthouse one in 2020 (which I attended on crutches). We went to some music festivals. Even at work I got to lead a project after the one i was meant to lead in 2020 got canceled by the pandemic.
Won conference championships in indoor and outdoor collegiate track and field. Ran a half marathon after years of chronic knee problems. Won a piano competition and performed with a full orchestra. Wrote a 48 page honors thesis and presented it. Formed a jazz trio. Graduated college. It's been a cool 365 days, I'm grateful to not know how to pick the best thing.
First winter in a long while that hasn't been hell, the new anti-depressants stopped my winter depression. And even helped a bit against my year round depression.
I've started a weekly swimming session too. Haven't been good at following it after the snow came, but its still progress.
Probably that I met a bunch of other decently-high-level fighting game players that have similar demeanor about the games we all play. Hanging out with them gave me an entire new community to feel at home in, and got me back into content creation. Plus, they collectively made it not feel impossible to go to my local tournaments on occasion, at which I'm at least not the weakest player in the room by a good margin.
Oh yeah, I completely quit drinking as well, after overdoing it one night and teleporting to the bathroom to vomit. I'm not counting days or anything, just kinda neat that I dropped it cold turkey, had plenty of opportunities to drink again, and just haven't wanted to.