Man allegedly assaults woman for cutting off Wi-fi as he played Fortnite

I love everything about this paragraph.

Griest told police he had fallen on the television and that his wife had tried to catch him but ended up getting a cut on her neck. When Griest fell, the television broke and he got a cut on his finger. Griest told officers that he called police because the incident was "going to turn into a domestic" as his wife's drunk boyfriend was allegedly going to stop the house the following day to assault him, Hornberger wrote in the affidavit.

As a gamer, I was going to come in with an edgy "that's what you get" joke, but with this added info... I'm doubling down on a "that's what you get" joke.
"his wife's drunk boyfriend"

This has to be satire.
- i thought that too, but it appears to be a real news site...
  i still find it hard to believe that reality has come this close to being a made-up shitpost...
  but maybe, the fortnight playing convicted pedophile actually called the police because his wife's boyfriend might beat him up...
  im pretty sure this means the universe will be collapsing in on itself pretty soon...

The whole story just gets weirder every sentence.

I didn't beleive it would but it did
- A Mount Carmel man who is a registered sexual offender allegedly assaulted and injured his wife after she cut off Wi-fi as he was playing the video game Fortnite with young children online.
  
  Also the stuff about the wife’s boyfriend makes me think this guy spends time on 4Chan.
The article started with Mt Carmel, so that's just a regular Tuesday. Shit goes down on Mount Carmel.
Written by AI, maybe?

Police charged Griest with misdemeanor counts of terroristic threats, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, and related charges.

Wtf? Cops just slap terrorism charges on every chance they get, huh?

Don't get me wrong, the guy is a piece of shit, but terrorism? That's not what happened here and they know it!

"Terroristic threats" is a ridiculously common charge against school age children. Dozens of 10 year olds are charged with it every month in Texas

Based on an analysis of district juvenile justice referral data we received from Brownsville ISD, the district police made 3,102 student arrests over a period of roughly two and half years from May 2021 to November 2023. That’s 135 arrests per month in the school year. Fifty-nine percent of those arrests were for felony changes.

Of those arrests, 3.5 percent were for elementary school-aged children. From the beginning of the prior school year to November 3 this year, there have been 76 arrests of students 10 to 11 years old. Charges for terroristic threats accounted for 20 percent of those arrests. Most, 66 percent, were felony charges. There were no charges for aggravated assault for this age group.
- The devil must be so, so proud of Texas right now.
- Holy fuck! Fucking bastards! 🤬
first they made terrorism the biggest problem in the world, declared war on it, made tons of draconian laws against it... and then they changed what the word means.
btw, check out the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act, which makes it "terrorism" to work at a job with livestock and then secretly film the abuse other people do to them.
in some states, that is "legally" terrorism.
(its illegally, but good luck appealing that when you're in a guantanamo style blacksite somewhere, being force fed rectally)
- I'd call it Orwellian, but that's more fucked up than anything Orwell ever imagined! 🤬

Btw is it only my country in which people call the internet wifi these days? As an IT worker I feel my brain deteriorate every time even a company doesn't use these terminologies properly in their ads.

Well, could really have been the wifi that was cut and not the entire box.
- Yes, sure, I do hope the rest of the world ain't as stupid as my country.
Shutting down WIFI is synonymous with turning off the router for me
i was there when they started calling every type of program an "app".

makes tech more opaque to normies, easier to control the narrative this way.
It hurt a bit when the contractor I am dealing with at work kept on mixing up disk with memory. It wasn't so much that I am being pedantic it is that he is making claims off his mixup.

I asked him politely to please search up the differences.
My ISP doesn't even tell you if your WAN is down when you check your service status on their app. It just tells you to "check your Wi-Fi router and reset if necessary".

If you use your own router, it won't even tell you that, it just says "issue finding wifi 360 information".
- Oh no, this is what I'm talking about. But in our case, those stupid people don't distinguish between Wifi and LAN anymore anywhere in their anything.
  
  Edit: one day, a dubious network worker came to my flat saying they are testing the Wifi provided by the apartment. I told him I don't need it because I set up my Wifi on my own.
  
  Then he told that's impossible because if I'm using Wifi I must be using the hardware of the apartment.
  
  Turned out, he can't distinguish between the fiber port and a Wifi router...
  
  I wanted to know if he was sent by the house maintenance or just another salesman. But how can you talk with a person on IT, when he continues mixing up technological terms!?
  
  Eventually I got upset and closed the intercom.
I'm an IT guy right with you but I'm also a linguist:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linguistic_description?wprov=sfla1

She did the world a service. If only more people would be willing to step up and cut off the wifi when someone starts playing Fortnite

Or add the Fortnite servers IP to their Pihole 😇

"Sorry, Fortnite servers don't work at home", and suddenly my younger cousins are a lot less thrilled to visit me for Christmas. 😂
- I support these grinch-like activities 😂

Real gamer move

Heated gamer moment

451: Unavailable due to legal reasons

Sad

Still up for me?
- It's GDPR related. It's not down.

Boy, you never play Fortnite with Wifi.

Yeah for real, who games on wifi? I was just invited to move in to my girlfriends place, I shoved myself down in the crawlspace to run ethernet before I even set my computer up. My motherboard has wifi built in if I wanted to use it.
- He wasn't there to win, just to talk to little kids. Wi-Fi is perfectly acceptable for that.