Tesla's Cybertruck is a dystopian, masturbatory fantasy
Tesla's Cybertruck is a dystopian, masturbatory fantasy
Tesla's Cybertruck speaks almost poetically to two distinct but orthogonal archetypes of threatened masculinity: the tacti-cool milspec dork, and the showboating rich guy.
I always love that keep calling out this bit;
We'd ask Tesla what cartridges they were firing and if they were being shot from within the effective range of any of these weapons, but the company dissolved its PR team in 2019.
A reminder of the moment when most people wised up to what a shitbag Musk is. When his whole shtick was just that.
I can't get over how fucking ugly it is...
It's such an uninspired, amateurish, unfinished, unbalanced, boring design aesthetic. It's like an amateur designer did it or it was created as a prank. Or like a drug addled nutcase billionaire scribbled it on a napkin and ordered it made.
Clearly not a delorean enthusiast..
I'll have you know the Delorean DMC was a timeless piece of art.
Apples and oranges. The only similarity between the DeLorean and the Cybertruck is the stainless steel body, and nobody minds that. What people hate about the Cybertruck is the shape, and in that respect the DeLorean is just a pretty standard '80s wedge-shaped sports car.
We'd ask Tesla […] but the company dissolved its PR team in 2019.
What the actual fuck?! How stupid is fuckface?!
HAH! AAHAH!
It's also really fucking ugly
Which, genuinely, if it was cheap I wouldn't care about. If it had no wifi or heated seats, no touchscreen or self driving. If it was just a cheapass vehicle for point a to point b and back, I would not mock it. It would have a place in the world and it would fulfill a purpose.
But currently it's place in the world is for the people who are unable to touch Elon Musk, but want to caress his face or be stepped on in a masochistic fashion by him. This truck is as close as they can get.
There's the Aztec guy.
Trucks have been ugly as fuck for at least the last 20 years as emissions standards forced them to be more aerodynamic. I challenge anyone to explain to me the position that an F150 is a good looking vehicle.
The cyber truck is no worse looking than an avalanche and they sold a shit load of those.
I dob't know but the F150 looks like a piece of art compared to the cybertruck
I watched MKBHD's review earlier today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxOh12Uhg08
Major takeaway was the visibility - both forward and rear - is absolutely atrocious. The A pillars are comically enormous and horribly placed which looks like it leads to quite the tunnel vision in the front, and with the tonneau cover closed the rear view mirror is completely blocked and you're left to rely on a video feed on the centre console display.
Marques (who I gather is quite tall) described an inability to see the front corner due to the extreme slope of the front end, so that'll be "fun" for shorter people too.
People are going to get killed by this monstrosity.
parents are already running over their children in their driveway because they drive murder boxes
no one gives a shit
Tesla's CybertruckElon Musk's life is a dystopian, masturbatory fantasyFTFY
I really believe that this is a Potemkin delivery. According to some leaks, the trucks being produced now require a huge amount of hand assembly. If that’s so (and the fact that there’s only a handful being shipped means that’s quite possible), he’s probably losing money on every truck, even if he’s getting $100k for each.
(Disclaimer: I'm not a Tesla/Elon fanboy. This comment is in no way in defense of Tesla's scummy business practices or Elon's general bigotry. Anyway,)
He's going to be losing money on every truck
It's really not rare at all for automakers to sell their flagship cars at a loss because of the huge amount of organic advertising the cars bring in on the road. The Porsche 911, Cadillac CTS-V, and Dodge Demon (amongst plenty of others) were all sold at build-to-sale losses at MSRP, but they have the effect of people seeing them on the road and saying "Wow, that cool car says 'Porsche' on the back of it, and this crossover says 'Porsche' on the back of it. It must be cool, too!" Meanwhile, the profits made off Cayenne sales more than make up for the loss from a few thousand 911 sales per year.
What I see happening is, after this run of Cybertrucks are sold, the Cybertruck we see today will enter limited production and Tesla will sell a Cybertruck-lite vehicle designed with cheaper, streamlines production lines.
Maybe. It’s hard nailing those stainless steel bodies though. They have a great tendency to snap back after bending. I think we'll see even worse issues than the teslas with those panel gaps.
These ugly tanks are only meant for the rich. I don’t think time will be kind to all of those powered moving parts. Owners will be putting these in for a ton of maintenance. Tesla will get their money back there.
The first paragraph immediately made me think of this
https://media.wired.com/photos/593252a1edfced5820d0fa07/master/w_2560%2Cc_limit/the-homer-inline4.jpgIts tagline ("more utility than a truck, faster than a sports car") speaks almost poetically to two distinct but orthogonal archetypes of threatened masculinity: the tacti-cool milspec dork, and the showboating rich guy.
This is fucking hilarious
"Sometimes you get these late civilization vibes, the apocalypse could come along at any moment, and here at Tesla we have the finest apocalypse technology,” Musk mused.
What's that thing about capitalists selling you the apocalypse?
Maybe the rich survivalists playing out Blade Runner meets Mad Max in their Cybertrucks haven't considered that when everything burns down, the power grid will go down too.
I do love this article. These morons buying these trucks are cosplaying as tough guys, but don't realize how ridiculous it all is.
So I guess there's only one color option which is stainless steel. I wonder if you can even wrap that. I'd imagine the vinyl sticks to clearcoat much better than plain steel. Not a huge fan of the design but it has grown on me a bit. Would be curious to see one in person. Preferably one painted/wraped black.
Stainless can indeed be wrapped
"The apocalypse is coming, a tesla will help" yeah I'm sure an all electric vehicle with short range and dependence on the electrical grid will be super helpful for about an hour.