I'm officially 41.
At age 33, I was "celebrating" my birthday at my dealers crack den, which I also lived at.
It's been a long, hard 8 years, but it's been worth it. Changing my life was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but it has been completely worth it. I've gone from begging for change like the people on the corner of Flinders and Elizabeth, to interviewing for better IT Manager roles. I'm normally humble, but I'm really fucking proud of that fact. That I got what I wanted in the end.
Got some great friends. People that are my family. People that have supported me, and I'm proud of being able to support when they need help. I love that I have a music studio full of great stuff that keeps me happy, and of course, the fluffy criminal known as Gibson. I still compare myself to others, but I'm learning to appreciate what I have, and that I'm very lucky that I'm so stubborn. I never wanted to die in the gutter. It's ok that I don't have property, or 100k in investments etc. I have a great rental that I can make loud guitar like noises in whenever I like and that's perfect for now. Plus Gibson gets to run around in a big place and that's great too.
At times, it's been a very solitary existence. Readjusting to society after years and years of living in another world was jarring. I missed a lot, and am still catching up in a lot of ways. Making friends is hard when you have big gaps in your life. When people are talking about holidays and trips overseas, or festivals and weddings they've been to, you sit there quietly and try not to look too conspicuous. Only my close friends know the deal, and they've been wonderful in accepting me for who I am. I'm very lucky to have them.
Relationships are tricky. I've had some shitty experiences that have tarnished my view of dating, but I still keep trying to find the right kind of person. People like me can be easy to manipulate if you have bad intentions and I've learned what to look out for after the last disaster.
Sometimes, in weaker moments, I do consider going back to the old life, but that is like an alarm going off that says "hey, something in your life is really fucking bad right now, you need to fix it". And I do as best as I can. My cancer scare last week definitely had me thinking of running back to the street, but thankfully there was no cancer. Even if there was, I don't think I would have gone back. But I think that thought will always be there in the back of my mind when things are really tough. One of the leftover bits from the past.
Never give up on yourself. I guess that's the point of this mini rant. Sometimes you want to. Sometimes it seems that there's no way through. But you never know what will happen tomorrow.
Have a great day everyone :)
Happy birthday and congratulations on your achievements 🥳🎉🎈🎁🎂🍰
I honestly think that quitting/changing is not in itself the difficult part, the hard part is believing in yourself and your future enough that the effort seems worth it. The sort of personal growth and change required to do that when you are in a bad place is one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do.
You should be fucking proud. Happy Birthday. May all your future wishes come true. 🎉
Thank you so much 🙂
Happy birthday mate ❤
Cheers mate 🙂
Happy birthday and pets to fluff butt
fuckin' A mate, job well done.
Happy b-day 🎂
Happy birthday! And congratulations, you should be bloody proud of yourself.
Happy Birthday! 🎂
Happy birthday!! Thank you for sharing your story! What amazing growth!
Good for you. It takes massive strength and hard work to do what you’ve done. You should be so proud of yourself.
So many hugs. 🤗🤗🤗😘😘😘
You should be proud of yourself, so so much!! Amazing to hear how far you have come. Keep doing the work on you, building that resilience will make it easier to move forward and be less tempted to go back but it sounds like you are doing pretty great there too. Thanks for sharing, massive hugs and i hope your 40s treat you really well :D
Happy birthday 🤗 thanks for sharing your story
Happy birthday, and thanks for sharing your story - you’ve got a lot to be proud of! 🎂
Happy birthday 🎂🎉hope you have a great day.
Pretty nice birthday today, but I had a job interview so that ate up a chunk of my energy, though it went well I think.
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. It's time for a bath, Gibson play time and some music time ❤️
Saturday night bar crawl with mates is looking damn good though lol
Happy Birthday! 🎈
Feeling a bit melancholy this evening.
Listening to true crime podcasts hasn't cheered me up, nor did trying to read in the bath, and now I'm just flicking through channels, endlessly...
The remedy, as it so often is, is Bob's Burgers
Waiting at bus stop. Wait 5 mins, bus behind schedule so I assume bus be a while. I started walking towards the other bus line. Bus approaches from behind. Me: "fuuuck".
Keep walking towards other bus line, I pass by bus. 5 mins later, bus still stuck in traffic and I get in the other bus.
Vindication. Great success. 👊
I might answer this question a bit later whenyou’re not at work?
Fornicate this! Comment intended for the ultra small ball thread.
One of my oldest friends (she's not old I've just known her since I was a teenager) is coming into Docklands tonight and we're heading out for dinner and a couple of drinks, probably coming back to mine for a drink. I got some lemonade and a bottle of Chambord to mix with the vodka which has been idling away in my freezer for a couple of years and also got a box of Favourites. Apartment and car and clean (car doesn't matter, but it does make me feel good). I am prepared.
Now I just found out my boss is unwell so the team lunch tomorrow is off and I won't need to go in. All I have left for the week is a 30 minute catch up with him at 2:30pm today. Might have a cheeky bourbon!
Update: 2:30 meeting cancelled
Me and the doggo got rained on, and it was really hard to get up and go... But I got a PB! 27:06/5K which I'm really happy with! 🙂
Edit. Rewarded myself with a bacon & egg roll from my local... they've added chipotle mayo! Party, mouth, etc
Oops, bot failure was completely my fault this time. I moved the laptop and knocked the power cord. I promise to be more careful in future. And it is sort of the cat's fault too, as she was having a nap where the laptop normally goes.
Bot001 valiantly tried to continue on the strength of an aging battery but eventually succumbed. No bot is a match for pulling the plug. Unless it's a bad horror film where the computers are taking over the world, in which case the lack of power and the absence of a computer chip is no obsticle.
or the AI pretends they cannot operate without electricity to take us off guard during the great botrising
Quick, turn the internet off
It's bin day, and I have successfully put out my bins, including clearing out some old things from the back of the food cupboard. I would like to have a word with whoever installed the "just in case" voice in my head. You know, the little voice that when you find the remainder of a packet of chia seeds with an expiry date of 2012 in the back of the cupboard whispers "you should keep that, just in case..."
Sibling asked for some binoculars for Christmas, so it's safe to say I now know more about binoculars than I ever thought I would.
Christmas is going to seem even closer once you buy those
Okay. Enough faffing around. I've managed to get some traction with work so here's to another solid few hours of documentation. Gonna break it up with browsing seek, just to start getting an idea of what to move to next.
I need to figure out what I'm doing by 18 Feb which is when I'm expecting the next rent increase email. By 18 Apr I gotta either have a really good reason to stay in Melbourne and the job to go with it, or have my next digs lined up.
Dear Melbourne, is there any particular reason why you barrage us constantly with gale force winds?
because there are no land masses between us and the Antarctic
Tasmania?
Because Melbourne is in a bad mood :/
Get it while you can, once the wind farm is builded there wont be any wind left to dry your clothes. - The Saturday Club.
Pardon? No sparrows farting near here?
Effing terrifying. My work colleague’s sister just turned up on my FB. Which uses not my legal variant. About that cabin with established well…
It's looking like raincoat weather. The new seedlings will be rejoicing.
Edit: I timed the dog walk amazingly well. No rain while we were out, but now I'm back it's raining again.
I really cantbefucked.org.au today.
Banh mi for lunch. mmmm
Life hack discovered. Get Viet iced coffee without ice.
Since it's typically extra strong + has lot of sugar, I usually take it home and make it into two servings 🤪
Poor hambam.
Half the time I throw the ball at the dog park when it's busy another dog runs and steals it. He doesn't care. I've seen how fast he can run he could totally give it a go but just gives up.
Be very very grateful for this. A border collie with a fetch obsession is the cause of multiple cases of dog owner despair and consequent animal abuse.
Decided to start watching Bodies. Almost fainting from all the BLOODY CLOSEUPS OF THE EYESOCKET
@just_kitten @Seagoon_ come on, it's not that bad.
Great series though 👍
Ahaha, just finished this.
Why is nuanced discussion so impossible on the internet? Is that people are inherently fucked or is there something about the medium itself that discourages it?
People are not great at nuanced discussion at the best of times, but in real life people are somewhat forced to listen to other people and maintain civil relationships. People also seem to find it harder online to recognise when their behaviour is completely out of line - the sorts of harassment and bullying that is rife on the internet is rarely tolerated in real life groups.
The ability for people to segregate themselves into their own echo chambers and only associate with people who think like them has also worked to both make people's views more extreme and to make people lose their skills in talking to people they don't agree with. People often don't recognise it in themselves though, possibly because they are "engaging" with fake straw-man versions of opposing thought - individual people and articles taken out of context and imaginary scenarios abound, and people love to argue those.
hard agree
and it's the evil facebook and google algorithms ( for clicks, advertising revenue and stock prices ) that put people into echo chambers and made extreme negative views and reactions more acceptable
and like I said, it's hard to resist social pressure, no one wants to be called sexist or racist or unpatriotic or unchristian , etc etc
Ok well this response pretty much nails it.
little from column A little from column B.
reading in text strips out any tone, so people will wildly misinterpret based on their own emotional state. Then you fold in the utter solipsism sitting in front of a keyboard gives you that provokes umbrage when challenged in your fiefdom. Now add issues that may be contentious that attract bad faith actors like flies and it all goes to shit.
is there something about the medium itself that discourages it?
Yes. The way the internet is designed , especially social media, news and advertisements creates lower attention spans and thus people don't have the stamina or patience to read hard things.
Another reason, and this is not due to internets, is that educamation has been democratised. Some people if they are presented with information they don't know or that requires some thought say they are being discriminated against.
Another is that it's hard to analyse and refute logical fallacies . It takes a lot of expertise and practise to see how discussions are hijacked or influenced.
People will say nothing rather than risk being called racist or sexist and thus nuance is lost.
It bothers me when thinking and questioning is said to be supporting racism, sexism, etc etc. This is the opposite of freedom and only evil thrives in ignorance.
The refutation to most difficult issues and situations is. "I really want to help people and this is such an important issue that I am going to think about this and find out more. "
Please, in all issues listen and discuss. Changing people's minds or tolerance of difference is not easy but it's better than hate and division
Docklands certainly helping its reputation for being windy AF this evening! She's got a bit of a breeze on!
i thought about going to the laundromat
maybe tomorrow
My clothes got turbodried on the line earlier today.
Cuts right through you like a sheet of ice.
Goblin didn’t eat his whole midnight snack.
Have some morning tea 😺
I've organised meals for the next two days (back at work ☹️) but have still not worked out what to have for dinner tonight. Maybe some fish, I haven't had that for a while.
Oh my deary me, what a whirlwind start to the day.
It was freezing outside and since I've come it it's been non stop mayhem but now I can finally pace myself and slow but steadily do my work for the rest of the day.
Also I can't stop thinking about food and what to make.
It's been such a shock to the system having this colder weather. I went for a nice hot bowl of noodles. 10/10 would noodle again.
If this weather keeps up I suspect that I'll be having that for dinner. it's so soothing to have a hot bowl of noodles in this type of weather.
Israeli occupation has arrested all the journalists and started storming the al-Shifa hospital 😬
When the Nazis occupied the Netherlands when my mum was a young teen they took over all the government functions. They ran the schools and changed the curriculum , the local police, all the medical, infrastructure, taxation, stopped elections, etc etc.
Has Israel been doing that?
Not sure, I've been avoiding the news trying not to stress myself out seeing traumatic things. Just happened to accidentally see about that event.
I'm sorry for what your mum went through
I promised my daughter I'd help her with with her art project which is lino cutting and printing. I have a piece of lino 2" by 3 1/2" (double sided) that I need to engrave and I have one shot at it. I do not have the tools for this. I need a huge coffee. I have a headache already. Any tips would be welcome.
You’ll want a V shape Lino tool. But most of all remember help is not the same thing as do it for her!
yes did it once and using V shape tool makes it enjoyable
The thing is I have always said to her if you need help with anything, I'll help you. It's her last interaction for the year. She's done all the academic stuff and all the other prac. She is absolutely hopeless at the hands on stuff. Like my dog could do better. This is delicate work. Delicate she is not.
Bunnings sells lino which might be good for practice runs. Also having a look at their hobby/craft knives and engraving tools might help.
I haven't done lino but did work experience in a jewellers shop and while mine was on metal (silver) engraving can be fiddly. Having different shapes and sharpnesses can help.
Don't be afraid to use curved rulers, compasses or protractors if you don't trust your freehand on curves.
I also know secondhand from etching that masking tape may be a great help in blocking off the areas which you do and don't want to be cutting into. (For metal it's wax, but eh)
This probably also goes without saying but I remember from my old art class you also use a greylead pencil and to make an outline or lines of what you're going to cut out of the lino with whatever tool you're going to use.
Good luck, and for goodness’ sake be careful using any Stanley knife on it.
Thanks. I'm pretty good with a Stanley knife.
I just attempted to book a cab from near one end of the CBD to the other and was quoted near $50 due to peak time.
You can bet I cancelled that.
I'm very conflicted as to whether to get a rug for the lounge room. I have hybrid flooring on a light golden wood pattern. I'm concerned adding a rug, even a bigger one will chop up the room and make it look smaller. And I question whether it would add anything since the flooring already looks nice.
If you have a robo vac avoid the black & whit ikea one everybody is so fond of : because it confuses the fuck out of the sensors and won’t work
Buy a cheap Kmart rug and see how it looks before investing in a better one?
I just finished watching Last Stop Larrimah. If ever there was a bunch of ragtag misfits, it would be the residents of Larrimah. Jfc.
They all hate each other, but no-ones seems want to to leave
#Worldle #664 1/6 (100%) 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🎉 ⭐⭐⭐🏙️ 📷 #WhereTaken🌎 #263 3/6🎉 ⭐⭐⭐
How do you reduce the vibration intensity on an iPhone? I feel the vibration is too strong and anxiety inducing...
see if this works https://www.perkins.org/resource/ios-15-haptic-feedback/
Thanks mate. I tried setting it to 0 to compare but it doesn't seem to be working 😢
Cake is in oven. Estimated cooking finish time 1620hrs. The oven won't let me put in a time longer than 2 hours. Even technology has a short attention span these days.
Edit: Cake is now out of the oven, has been brushed with brandy and is cooling down under a foil cover. Next step involves more brandy and a thorough wrapping before putting it away to mature. A good rich fruit cake is a preserve, not a dessert. I will probably start eating this one in the latter half of next year.
Does the oven timer switch the oven off? If not surely in todays society there are multitude of better options for a timer :P
It does turn the oven off unfortunately. I just need to make sure I reset it once or twice during the afternoon.
I’ve got one of those. And stove burners that don’t do low simmer properly. Bloody annoying.
hmm. Anyone know a place in vic to get 10mm steel balls?
You could try these guys. https://www.bearing.net.au/bearings/ball-bearings
Apparently this place in Delacombe https://www.iw.net.au/product/22239-steel-ball
Cheers for that - most places seem to be taking the piss a bit, i might have to go ebay.
This is another on those things that probably bumps me up on a watchlist but is honestly once more very innocent (printing a hextraction game for a christmas present), i just have very very wild and varied interests
...and also enough parts from various projects by now to probably go mcgyver waco. sighs and waves to ASIO agent monitoring my comms
Well I've finished. It's not good but at least it looks like she's done it. Now she can concentrate on her maths test for tomorrow.
Gamer grump; I restarted Twilight Princess, boy wanted a try. Aside from me having to colour interpret, and hint bomb, he’s now so far ahead my own game isn’t fun
bloody hell filament sellers are taking the piss. Here's hoping the ebay mob I found just around the corner have decent stuff.
Did you know for a mere $750 you can advertise for Red Rooster on some basic-ass Nike shoes as worn by "celebs" and friends of Red Rooster such as Kyle Sandilands? Someone needs to pinch me so I know I'm not dreaming of this incredible bargain!
I did not know this. But I'm not fashion expert.
The design isn't even good. No wet napkin packets or anything.
Telstra reward points have finally paid off. New Google hub for the kitchen installed.
Watching Nightmare Alley tonight. It looks so lush.
