I genuinely think more people need to take a step back and look at themselves, like really look at themselves, before they start shit-talking other people.
It's fine to not want to be an athlete, or to be bleeding-heart volunteer, but those who do put that effort in are naturally going to be the ones who get the most attention. That's life.
All true but the dysfunction starts here with making someone an enemy simply because they turned down your romantic advance.
True, but it's all part of the same picture.
Anon's friend assumed this girl would say yes, because he's obviously the best guy in his whole universe, so he took major offense when she said no (cause she can see what he's actually like).Introspection would've made it a bit more obvious why she rejected him off the bat, even without the other guy getting involved... but narcissists rarely introspect.
I think that people are so quick to judge others because they're afraid to look inside themselves. If they did they would see that we are all the same.
I don't think somebody taking one girl's refusal that hard would be quick to judge others.
No, this doesn't help. A specific person you care for can't be diminished into that general "attention" thing.
So you look at yourself more critically. Then something like what's described in the post happens, and then you still feel pain, but it's dull and you can't locate it, so to say, because in the universe you imagine after such advice you'll find plenty of reasons you are flawed and nobody should look at you.
And then after some time you understand that the pain is there because really everybody has flaws, "that other guy" included. It's just that you haven't been accepted and "that other guy" has been. Somehow your flaws were worse and your advantages not as significant as those of "that other guy".
And - everybody wants to be accepted, without being the best and the coolest. Just for being a human.
People do need these things, but it’s both. Part of stepping back and introspecting should be learning that you aren’t to everyone’s tastes no matter what you do. You could be an active volunteer athlete and charming as hell and get rejected because your life sounds exhausting to someone you like. That’s not bad, that’s life. Be who you want to be and accept that not everyone wants that person.
Being accepted is different from being dated though. And dating is not just about evaluating people rationally. For most people, something must click, and there are many factors that you cannot control - like the way your body gives of a special kind of smell that indicates your potencial compatibility based in the type of your immunity. It's wild stuff and it matters.
Or just find a girl more into video games and hanging out than soup kitchen volunteering. Every girl isn't a perfect fit yknow.
Or just like, don't focus in on one girl. Especially if she already said she's not interested. Try lots things. Meet lots of different people. Get a real feel for what you want, what actually works, and stick with that.
Exactly. Chances are you'll find a better fit of a partner if you go do the things you like. Anime convention? Weeb gf. Oddities store/events? Goth gf. This stuff is easy people.
Don't you know how many terminally online incels there are compared to gamer girls that are into those types?
Most girls you can kind of get into gaming if they aren't already, by finding the games they enjoy.
But if gaming is the only interest you have, the conversations will quickly come to an end.
My first date with my wife involved her explaining the plot of kingdom hearts to me over 2 hours and 3 bottles of wine.
I appreciate I'm very fortunate, but it does happen, and I would say gaming was basically both of our only interests at the time (besides weed for me, and doctoring for her, but we don't exactly overlap with those things!).
But you have to save those girls for when you need to spew toxic abusive shit at them for daring to be present in a space you feel you have ownership over. /S
But then you're competing with far more people for that girls interests than you would with random normie girl.
Random normie girl is looking for partners interested in the same stuff she is. By chasing one you have nothing in common with, not only are you competing with all of the guys who share her interests and hobbies, but you're putting yourself at a huge disadvantage by actually not sharing her interests and hobbies.
The competition pool is the same. What changes is whether or not she might find you interesting in the first place.
If someone calls a person 'normie' they are probably an idiot.
Weird comment, normie.
You dumb.
That word is used to express the feeling you get when some better socialized, but not particularly smart or competent or educated or understanding people disrespect your hobbies/expertise/opinions/feelings while you don't disrespect theirs.
I use it sometimes. More often in periods after once again forcing myself to believe that maybe I shouldn't look at people this way and maybe I'm wrong, and then getting wounded once again.
You say you're not disrespecting their expertise or opinions...while in the same breath, calling them "not particularly smart or competent or educated." Even if, from your point of view, those things are factually true, the fact that you describe people that way makes it instantly clear to me why you're being disrespected. Maybe that makes me a normie, or "better socialized", but I wouldn't be surprised if you were (intentionally or not) disrespecting those "normies" first. I've grown up around people who talk like you do, and I've seen the responses they get for their actions, rightfully so.
Such an NPC thing to say
Ehh, I mean I don't hate it as a term. Most of my friends are online, my hobbies mostly are too. Unlike 4channers tho I'm happy with my life, have a good job, etc. Still, I might refer to people who go hiking, watch Marvel movies, and so on as normies, or at least "normal people".
In my book it's just a more modern way to express how special you are. When most people that use the term are gamers, or adjacent, which isn't special anymore by any stretch of the imagination. Like, if you're someone who is hardcore into niche hobbies like freeclimbing/bouldering or building replicas of famuos buildings out of ice cream, that's fine. But if you're sitting at home, playing CS and shitposting on social media, come on dude...
yep, checks out. i'm an idiot. 🙂
Yeah they should say muggle instead, amirite?
Anyone who says about another person, "I hope s/he gets abused so that I'm proven correct," is a gigantic piece of shit who will never find real love. And doesn't deserve to, until they get huge amounts of therapy and improve as a human.
4channers are surprisingly self aware sometimes.
Unlike most redditors
i think it's almost worse that way, because they know what they're doing is wrong but they keep doing it.
Yeah.. if your first instinct after getting rejected is wishing that whoever rejected you gets abused...
Maaaaybe you're a piece of shit and they were right to reject you in the first place.
