You think Jesus ever hit that griddy rule

It's pretty disrespectful to imply that ace people aren't fully human imo

I was about to say asexual people, but catholics don't believe in those

Probably ass: it’s well known that Christ broke up buns into fish to feed the crowd at the sermon on the mount - a subtle metaphor for cumming to the butt

Me, an asexual person: Fuck yeah I'm not fully human

I think Jesus was an eyes guy. He said eyes are the windows to the soul after all.

But then again he might have been a little bit into feet with all the feet washing and everything.

Jesus was known to fraternize with sex workers, and I'm pretty sure someone a sex worker would willingly be friends with is someone who's either not interested or well and good capable enough of controlling themselves that it's not really the same discussion as it would be with others when talking about sexual temptation.

IIRC the story of Jesus experiencing temptation was one of him being tempted with power and/or being freed from some trial of suffering he had found himself in.

Some loveable himbos have the sex drive of an unfixed Chihuahua but still have attempts at seduction bounce right off them until the attempt is then redirected at bribing them with an especially delicious sandwich.

He had a big tiddy hooker gf, you can’t tell me Jesus didn’t have sexual temptations

The obvious answer, especially for anyone who already believes multiple things can be true at the same time:

"Why not both?"

Correct answer: Boobs didn't exist until Eve so obviously ass. Boobs are just front facing asses after all.

My impression is he was totally banging Mary Magdalene, and that just was just omitted. If he was like any other popular cult leader, he also got his pick of the young women among the followers.

It would have been regarded as peculiar and noticeable if Jesus didn't partake of the groupies.

Maybe he had erectile dysfunction