DOGE staffer known as 'Big Balls' reportedly the grandkid of a KGB spy
DOGE staffer known as 'Big Balls' reportedly the grandkid of a KGB spy
Summary
Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old DOGE staffer recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department, is reportedly the grandson of former KGB spy Valery Martynov.
Martynov was executed in the Soviet Union after being exposed as an FBI informant. Coristine, an alleged former cybercriminal, previously worked in the General Services Administration and now has potential access to sensitive diplomatic data.
Concerns have been raised over his background and apparent lack of a security check.
The situation fuels fears about foreign influence in U.S. government operations.
So what? The KGB hasn't existed for 30 years or more. My dad was a dead beat, what does that matter? The bigger problem is what he is doing not who his parents and grand parents were lol
What kind of North Korean "sins of the father" shit is this?
Punish him for his actions of helping Musk take over the government in a coup, not that his grandad did spycraft every nation did in the Cold War.
I don't care if he was the grandson of Jesus Christ and Buddha if he is a dipshit fascist. Fascists get called out for being fascists, not being related to one they might have never known.
National security isn't fair because its more important than being fair and those who are for any reasons suspect are free to do any of the other hundreds of millions of jobs.
People are absolutely suspect because of their associations.
Exactly this. Top Secret clearance typically extends out to three degrees of separation. They’ll check on you, your friends/family, and their friends/family. Because when national security is concerned, they don’t want to risk a leak due to something like a cousin being a spy and going drinking after work with the employee.
100%. This arsehole deserves it.
Even if this stupid asshole isn't related to a KGB spy...WTAF:
recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department
He's a FUCKING TEENAGER. The guy cannot even legally drink. Cannot rent a car.
Elon's just excited he found someone almost as rizzless as he is.
And what is anyone doing about it?
I am seeing nothing but stories today about how trump, musk, and musk’s incel groupies are all tied to russia. And no one arresting them for being undocumented foreign agents.
So why bother reporting?
Who would arrest them? Dems and gop both have spent a century placing nearly all government power with scotus and the executive. The judicial isnt going to start drafting an army of armed officers of the court, so that just means the executive is going to continue to use all of the power both parties decided to give it.
You knew about this before? I didn't. Report it.
Information is key.
America is in shock at the moment.
Shocker
Surely the fact that he's 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage? And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?
I think this familial connection is just a storm in a teacup which is sitting inside a much larger storm.
U know what I was doing at 19 years old? Nothing…nothing that counted as work. I won a bacon eating contest at college and played a ton of Mario Kart 64.
Yeah, and other people led successful military campaigns and even empires at that age.
Alexander "the great" was 20 years old, when he got into power.
Scipio who later defeated Hannibal got his name on the roaster for a daring charge as an 18 years old officer.
Pennypacker was 16-19 years old when he became captain in the US Union army and was 20-22 when he became Brigardier General and was awarded the Medal of Honor in 1865This is just some quick examples i found, but history is riddled with young people excelling in leadership roles.
Surely the fact that he's 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage?
Well firstly, it is the media, they love to sensationalise so they came up with this attention grabbing headline.
And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?
At first I thought both simply have the same ideological inclination, and the speculation that Putin has a kompromat on Trump is a meme. Now, I am increasingly becoming convinced on the latter. Not even Mussolini bent this low to Hitler.
Big balls, hella small dick. Obviously
Big Balls looks like a Connecticut boat shoe that came to life.
I know it's a long shot, but I so want sanity restored and people like him rounded the fuck up and charged with breaking into government systems.
I want the legal system to wipe that fucking smug look right off their faces.
He looks like a half dressed toddler. Nice of him to give everyone an immediate visual cue for what they’re about to deal with, I guess.
I love it when the Nazis make themselves this punchable. Makes it easier for the sentient to take hold.
Maybe musk will start carrying him around.
That’s a wonderfully specific yet accurate description. Up you go.
Sporting that bussin' broccoli top 🥦
Big Broccoli
"had to do it to 'em"
[slightly off topic]
I'm a native of the Northeastern United States and I've lived in numerous areas depicted in the media as being under the influence of 'organized crime.' To wit, Harlem, lower Manhattan, Hell's Kitchen, and Staten Island.
Actual tough guys never have nicknames like 'Big Balls.' Never. The guys you fear have names like 'the Chin,' or 'Bumpy,' or 'Legs.' Al Capone's buddies called him 'Snorky.'
Yeah street names are always an endearing insult
I worked in construction and we used radios to communicate between crews. One kid insisted we call him 'AntDawg.' His name was Anthony.
It's started with 'Labradoodle.' He put up with that for two days before bitching he didn't wanna be Labradoodle. Everyone agreed it was too annoying over the radio, so we all agreed to shorten it. Doodle still hates his name.
South Shore Shaolin?
Unveiling the "Wu Tang District' street sign on Staten Island.
I'm pretty sure it comes from his twitter handle or something like that. I think it's more irrelevant/childish humor and less serious than it's made out to be. Plenty of people refer to each other by their online handle, and I don't think it's intended as a "nickname" in the conventional way. I have a friend whose UN is basically "dragonslayer42069" and people call him dragon. I don't think he chose that name so his nickname would be badass or anything. I think he thought it was funny when he made it and people just happen to refer to him as dragon. Plenty of memorable vulgar UNs on microblogs and forums are just there for some immature fun.
You can't even make this shit up...
It is so sad how fitting this image is and will be for the foreseeable future.
There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.
How the Hell does someone have a background as both a cybercriminal and a GSA employee at 19? I mean, sure, you can be a cybercriminal as an adolescent. But why is the GSA even hiring anybody that young at all?
I don’t get this angle.
So his grandparent was someone who on being exposed to the American way of life converted to the American side, helped America, and was killed by the Soviets for it. And they’re what, worried this previous generations pro-American views will somehow influence the kid today?
Go with them being a cybercriminal thing, not some bizzaro sins of the father nonsense.
I don't care who someone's family is, their actions are what defines them.
If someone was the son of Hitler and they did massive charity work, I don't care. If someone was the child of Theodore Roosevelt and murdered someone, I don't care.
It's weird that being the grandson of some random KGB is what matters here more than the fact they are aiding a fascist take over. Like it's in their DNA.
My grandfather on my mother's side was a Nazi. We're unsure of it was willing or "everyone had be in Nazi Germany." I still fight for the rights of minorities everywhere. His actions don't speak for mine. Nor my mother's.
The angle is that the Overton window shifted so far right that the disagreement is now which foreigners (and secret, domestic foreigners) are to blame for the country's decline.
same but it's still super interesting on its own. spy stories and such. but also these Dept of Gastroenterology guys are not looking so vetted or reliable.
My thoughts exactly. 🙄 This is ridiculous non-news.
America is Putins puppet. Musk is sitting in between getting richer while Trump does Russia’s wants.
Look at the Russian playbook. Look at the current U.S. playbook.
Insert image of “the office <they’re the same image>.jpg here.
Big balls attacks again
"Big Balls" huh. This is 100% the same situation as calling the dude that can bench a school bus "Tiny".
Looking at a photo, this dude definitely has a pair of undescended testicles. They're missing for sure.
He's like a dog, but his balls never dropped.
There's plenty to go off here, but this is a stretch.
My grandfathers were an RAAF pilot and a South African Navy man. None of that has anything to do with what I am. I'd be unprepared if people started attacking me about such topics as I know almost nothing about them.
Counter point: KGB spies trained for the long con, having families, naturalising, bringing their kids into the system.
In most other things lineage like that doesn't matter, you're right. But this one time..
In this case though the KGB agent was killed by Russia for being an FBI double agent. This is a weird angle of attack. I HATE "DODGE" and this kid almost assuredly shouldn't be in the position they are, but for other reasons.
Oh shit, he's got that KGB DNA in him!!
Is it a big deal? I have no idea. It’s just one of those details that you hear and you’re like, “Yeah that sounds like a likely thing to happen with these guys.” Yeah it is a stretch but it should be reported on. The article ends with ”Is it a big deal? I have no idea. It’s just one of those details that you hear and you’re like, 'Yeah that sounds like a likely thing to happen with these guys.'”
Yeah, what this article needs is some facts to base itself on.
It could be a big deal, or also not. Nothing was presented to indicate much else, and conspiracy theories have never been much more than entertaining "what if" ideas, rarely factually pursued further.
If it's a big deal, present the facts as to why, otherwise I may as well be a navy man and a pilot simply by being second generation born to that. I wish that were true. Love the sky and sea.
A literal spy in the US in this case, by the way.
Who defected, was super pro USA, and was killed by the soviets.
wtf are current events even lmao
Department Of Greddy Elon Asshole Spy...DOGEAS
Wouldn't they have been a double agent, if they were an FBI informant working in the KGB?
Per Silverman’s research, Martynov was an officer in the technical espionage division of the Russian intelligence agency back in 1980, when he was sent to the United States to serve as an undercover agent at the Soviet Embassy in Washington, D.C. About two years into his stay, Martynov got flipped by the FBI and started to feed the US government Soviet secrets.
so not a planted double agent.