RFK Jr. Vows To Ban Soaps That Smell So Good You Eat A Little
RFK Jr. Vows To Ban Soaps That Smell So Good You Eat A Little
WASHINGTON—Promising to end what he has called a “war on public health” by the federal government, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the nominee to oversee the Department of Health and Human Services, vowed Monday to ban all soaps that smell so good you eat a little. “Big soap companies have been poisoning and...
Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.
Not because they became more plausible. It's because reality became dumber.
“Insiders have been peddling the lies that these apple cinnamon soaps aren’t dangerous, but I know firsthand how bad they actually taste."
I believed it at first
This seems less crazy than the things he'll actually say
Stop giving him ideas
the onion has been on fire recently.
The length of time I've seen people commenting this, makes me think they mean 'recently' on a geological scale.
The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They're about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.
Ah fuck almost bit this onion.
Did it smell good? Might need to ban onions too.
Satire is dead.
But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve
Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?
Better than bleach... Right?
I’m no scientist, but I think so.
Watch out, he's coming for scented markers next
I love eating Irish spring. tastes like Guinness.
You can't eat the marbles.
heh. keep your personal dietary habits to yourself trench head
