Sometimes I know it's a joke or sarcasm but I pretend to take it seriously because it don't know how to react to it otherwise.
"I can't be autistic, I understand sarcasm." Until I realised that I'm heavily context dependent and no I don't understand sarcasm unless I know for certain that it is sarcasm.
I’ve done this my whole life. I think it’s a form of masking. You cover both sides. If it was a joke you are like yeah I was continuing it. If it wasn’t you just say you thought they were being sarcastic and misunderstood.
Oh my god is this why I am this way.
"Notes"? Is this from Bluesky? Threads?
tumblr
How do you not realize it's a tumblr post lol
Tumblr screenshots, in my 196 community?
It's more likely than you think.
Tumblr, I thought.
i can't find the exact post after digging through the users archive for a while, but this is definitely a tumblr post.
I've taken to deadpan saying, "I can't tell if you're joking or not."
Doesn't work well with strangers, but it works with people who know me and have some level of understanding of the whole thing.
I mean it only “works” in the sense of countering the awkwardness.
But sarcasm and subtle communication is an intentional risk. For one person to attempt risky communication (easy to misinterpret) and then for the other person to pick it up correctly deepens the bond between people.
That’s why we have sarcasm. It’s why we have subtle jokes. It’s a constant refinement of the communication channel via tighter and tighter tolerances being practiced.
When you say “I can’t tell if you’re joking” it’s great because it avoids the awkwardness, but the danger of awkwardness is the source of the benefit. So basically you’re saying “I’m not up for an adventure right now”. Which is “safe” in the short term, but it stunts the growth of the relationship.
Autist to autist, my recommendation is to go out on a limb more often and take a chance with committing to one interpretation. It’s a risk-reward thing.
Oh cool, a meme can make my cheek twitch
OP what makes you think you're not? This post is autistic AF, as someone autistic.
I'm very high masking when I choose to be (sometimes when I'm not.. it's sort of automatic by nature at times) and in a lot of cases people never know. I was in my 30s before I figured it out, and I used to use the saying "I'm not autistic but" a lot.
There are free tests available. AMA (not a pro but I have over 30yrs experience!)
I was diagnosed with autism at a young age, but that actually turned out to be a different thing (xxy), so I no longer have the diagnosis. So it's still possible, but not probable, more likely partly a result of xxy and not autism.
Interesting, thanks for sharing. I have heard of xxy, but not how it can look neurodivergent, so that will be my light reading for the evening!
I think part of it for me is in hearing the joke, I hear the subject reduced to simplicity, in some cases with ugly stereotypes, so I feel compelled to explain the nuance.
A recent example came up when someone made a 72 virgins joke recently (the promised heavenly reward for a muslim man who lives rightly features seventy-two concubines)
And as a result, I broke into an explanation of Houri (but spared them the complexities of jihad ).
And it's always awkward to explain I'm also joking. Most times I just pretend I'm being serious just to save myself the hassle of explaining I was actually continuing the joke
Same for me LOL (also not autistic)
This is interesting, because I have the same things happen with different reasons behind them. Responding to a joke as though I didn't understand it was one is something I find internally amusing, and my own sense of humor is pretty dry/deadpan so people do miss sometimes when I'm "joking back" as it were
I think the dividing line is the intensity/frequency, unless one knows one is diagnosed. My coworkers for example pick up on the differences in the way I talk when I'm joking vs sincere pretty quick, and likewise learn that I find some small amusing in being irritating now and again
