femcel rule

Probs /c/femcelmemes, great memes but I'm still icky on the term femcel, been over there for a good 2 months tho.

I was too, but most of the people that call themselves "femcels" nowadays aren't actually the female version of incels. There have been communities of unironic female incels, like the subreddit FemaleDatingStrategy, and while some of them were just men trying to agitate, a lot were women.

They talked a lot about finding "high value males," using very dehumanizing language that reinforces what they see as "objective" sexual roles. They were obviously transphobic and misogynistic, viewing relationships from a purely mechanical perspective. Emotional attachment didn't matter and was a hindrance to fulfilling their "biological purpose." 🙄

People get drawn to these ideas because they're trying to find meaning. They want some objective authority to tell them what to do with their life, so they look to the our rudimentary understanding of evolutionary psychology and assume that it's some perfect model for how to live. They don't understand that not only is the science warped by a shitty culture, but nature isn't even a good model for how to live a fulfilling life. Nature doesn't care for our best interests, it's just a soulless machine.

The femcel community here is a celebration of queerness, self depreciation at our "weaknesses." Actual femcels want to conform, we don't. We be silly, we be free :3
- Many years ago, I called out people at some subreddit for immediately associating someone not being able to find a partner with being a terrible person, almost like they inherently had little value as a human being and deserved to be alone, etc. I initially got a lot of support, until a couple of people started to attack my comments in that thread viciously, making shit up, bringing assumptions out of nowhere, and the both of them were usual posters of r/FemaleDatingStrategy. I gave a look to c/femcelmemes a couple of weeks ago, and the vibes were NOTHING ALIKE. Internet just generally sucks at naming things.

Yeah, well, a strength of 8 is really pathetic. cries in STR6

Anyone who can shoot paciencia is good enough for me

You couldn't just look at the picture to see who to give credit to? @lanaflowerz is written right there in the bottom right and they have an account on Instagram at least

thats the artist's name. im pretty sure the meme is an edit made by someone else.
- Me! 🙋‍♀️
- It got posted on [email protected] before

I hate to give advice, but I feel bad for anyone who feels they’re an involuntary celibate. Like, being celibate or aroace is fine because you’re just being yourself. But the “involuntary” aspect of incel/femcel makes me feel bad for anyone going thru this.

So here’s what I suggest: super get into a hobby, be a nerd and specialist in it, and just enjoy yourself. Don’t do it to meet anyone, and stop comparing life to others. It’s just life, just have fun. The lack of sex shouldn’t be a defining quality to life or personality, a person is more than someone else’s love or interest.

But note one important thing! I am not saying people are boring or lacking anything, and that’s why they’re not getting love, attention, sex etc. I am saying one can use the hobby to alleviate the frustration that comes from something that one can’t control.

I think the anger and sadness people feel from a lack of love and attention should be reframed: dating, love etc. all have such a luck aspect to them, and so I don’t think anyone not getting any should feel like it’s their fault or they’re not enough. You’re just fine, the society we’ve created just makes it easier for some type of people vs. others, but it’s a work in progress and we can all be the change we want to see in the world.

Sorry for the Ted talk

Tbf, the society we've created has kinda made things worse for everyone. Even the most competent and successful people struggle to not be miserable. The ones that are happiest did it by focusing on things the system often discourages.
It's hard to love or be loved when you hate yourself. Source: pretransition me
The term has been hijacked by awkward assholes. There are people who are so inabled that getting a mate is impossible. People with massive disabilities that have to deal with loneliness is a real issue.

While we’re at it, how comes I don’t see any incels on Lemmy? On reddit they are fucking everywhere.

I guess their problem is that they're fucking nowhere
You can find some in the bears vs men posts.
- I keep luring them out by accident just by bringing up any kind of women's issue at all. Thankfully though, a quick report and they get banned from my instance real fast.
It's likely due to age. Based on the comments and posts here, it seems that most people here are older than those on Reddit. As the saying goes, "with age comes wisdom."
Try going to the comments section of one of those bear or man posts. Boom, at least two incel lemmings at minimum.
There are incels on lemmy. For example I m one in the literals sense of the term.
- please don't call yourself that, people who don't have sex and incels are very different
I felt like I've seen a couple. But yea, I have not seen nearly as much as on reddit. I think there are some fediverse rules that keeps bad things out (Nazis, pedos, misogyny, etc.) (I also don't fully understand the fediverse as well)
- Each instance has their own rules, all governed by the law of wherever the instance is. Then instances may federate or not with other instances depending on how good of a match they think they are for each other. And then they unfederate Hexbear. That's the life cycle of a lemmy instance xD