I had a great childhood. But as soon as I say something like “if I smell alcohol on a man’s breath, I immediately think of my dad” Terry just responds with some overthinky, pschobabble.
All I ever needed from my parents was an occasional “good job,” a pat on the back, or an extra scoop of ice cream. And sure, I never got those things, but how else was I gonna learn that I was neither special nor important?
That one hit a little too close to home. I think I'm going to call in sick to work this morning. And maybe go buy some ice cream.
Because sometimes therapists ask that you keep taking your meds rather than get off them at every chance you can get when you start feeling normal. What's the point if the goal isn't to be off meds and a perfectly healthy person without help!?
They also do dumb stuff like ask me to wait or think before reacting when reacting literally means I can't control it! They're so dumb sometimes. Like, why even tell me to force myself to exercise or take walks when the point of depression is that I could start sure, but I'm just going to stop anyway so why even try? Just because they can back up statistics saying to smile more even when you don't mean it will eventually make me happier doesn't mean I'm going to be some fake bitch like everyone else in the world. I want to feel good without going through the work first damnit!
No, it's definitely not me doomscrolling everyday, having a terrible external locus of control, or my sleep since I run fine on 5-6 hours as long as I get my coffee in the morning. It's all rigged against us anyway despite large swaths of people getting by or excelling just fine. That's just because they got lucky. I wasn't, so here I am. Shit posting on Lemmy again.
I mean, he refers to my folks as “emotionally withholding”, and it’s like, did Terry just not have parents? Because that’s what parents do: they withhold emotions so that you do whatever they say in the hopes that they will express even the smallest bit of love or approval, so… oh fuck. Yeah, never mind, Terry’s right.