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Sometimes extreme low self-esteem can lead you to give up on "scoring" so you start talking to beautiful people with no hang ups. It's not like you have a chance, right? Might as well enjoy their company, even if it's just for friends. Suddenly you realize you have tons in common and you like their company. You hang out together every day. They are such a good friend. Then one day they say "hey", look at you straight in the eyes, and kiss you.
We've been together for thirty years last August.
I agree with this. I had this gorgeous friend that I never once tried making a move on our flirting with, cause she was way out of my league. We got to hanging out alone a lot and I would never do anything but just act like a normal, non horny person for once. All of a sudden she's kissing me. Like wtf?! Good times.
That's why I always tell people to stop 'looking', that's just desperate and off-putting. Friendships will turn into relationships if its meant to be.
these are all great stories but what if it doesn't happen and you stay single for life
If that's your worry, you never stopped "looking"
That's the thing, it will work 100% guaranteed. As long as you're open to new friendships. Will the first person fall in love with you? Probably not. The second? Also probably not. That's the beauty of it, you'll either have an SO or a ton of friends, and having a friend of the opposite gender is like wingman paradise.
No it won't. I tried that for 30 years with no success.
For some people, if you don't put in effort you will not get any of those things.
It will, maintaining friendships and especially new ones requires a lot of effort. I'm saying when you meet people you don't think they'll be your SO, but rather a new friend. That's now an entirely different conversation, one which has a much more relaxed nature, increasing the chances of a potential relationship.
Yeah well I already have a ton of friends. I just think you can't claim it will work 100% for everyone, because you can't prove that.
You're missing the point by like a mile, you have to be open to new ones. Relationships don't just appear out of nowhere.
I am. I'm just saying it's not because you got lucky that this will work out for everyone, so it's not 100%
Oh no you're mistaken, I got incredibly lucky. But after more than a decade I can confidently say that I've never seemed more desirable since I have nothing to prove. That confidence is what I'm talking about, I've seen many people try hard and fail. I've seen many more people try less and succeed.
Tina Belcher is my spiritual guide on this issue. Nothing wrong with a little erotic friend-fiction becoming reality.
The story above happened because someone made a move.
Make the move! You'll know and they'll know when the moment is right, but don't rush it!
I'm glad I'm not searching for romantic advice in this thread because if I were I'd be so confused.
Should I search for a friendship instead of a relationship? Should I make a move? Should I make a move on my friends?!
Do you think your friends are as cute as buttons?
Congrats! 30 years is amazing.
Then one day they say "hey", look at you straight in the eyes, and kiss you.
yeah one day...
It will only when you know, deep in your heart, that it is never gonna happen. Hope is cruel.
Also, it helps if you are pursuing a genuine friendship, not just trying to be a "friend" while secretly girlfriend-zoning them.
Done
Don't forget to put yourself out there. Interact.
This is so, so dead on.
Congrats, grandpa!
Don't seek a relationship. Seek a friendship and a relationship may bloom.
Congratulations!