I don't think it actually has anything to do with gender, sexuality, skin color, etc. Those groups are just visible targets that are easy to justify targeting. It's about hateful people having a group of "others" to fight against in order to inflate their own egos and sense of self worth.
Yeah, like Punching down, when you feel oppressed, you find a target to feel like you are better than, to aim your hatred. Unhappy people who feel trapped, under capitalism, finding a way to see the grass is greener on their side of the fence. Shit way to cope, and understanding it doesn't mean it's in any way excusable, only that understanding why, is the first step, if we want to question and turn these people back to the light.
Deviation from the norm is always seen as dangerous for a lot of people. The average man usually is able and will adapt to change but some of them don't.
Scarecrow tactics in politics. "Gay and trans people kill the christian family values", " Gay people mindwash our children" (reference: my country, aka Hungary)
Others (For example a friend of a friend was at a party, met with a girl and she later on spilled the beans just before the sex act. She was trans and that guy gut furious. Idk him probably he was already a transphobe before)
I guess for some people they justify their continued existence through feeling superior to others. And their hatred is an extension of that by othering a group of people with anything they can come up with.
My relatives are a great example of that. As long as they have a group of people to hate and feel superior to, they're happy.
There's a reason I say "relatives" rather than "family" here. You choose your family, you can't choose your relatives. And the way they treated me and others, they are no longer family in my eyes.
And they no longer saw me as family the moment they found out I was queer.
They had found a lightning rod for their hatred in the form of someone they knew. I left that Christmas celebration fearing for my life.
On a happier note, find the family that loves you for you. It will be hard, it might take awhile, but having that family to lean on is something that will add so much positivity to your life. And that positivity is something that all people need.
Hate, the great unifier and equalizer. You needn't study at the highest of academis. Nor practice with the secluded monk. Hate only requires the most miniscule of efforts to be included in the group. It is easy to hate.
It's never about the 'other' it's just finding someone to blame for well, being a dipshit who wants to find someone to blame to begin with. Sexuality is a complex and emotional topic, that doesn't mesh well with violent shitheads and they lash out. Better and stronger laws are needed so public discord goes 'DON'T TOUCH THAT' when someone touches a trans person like when someone touches a candy bar. The general selfishness of many societies where the things are more highly valued than the citizens is pervasie and depressing to no end.