I miss my cat and I wish my family wasn't so fucked up.
I want to be more productive and less depressed
Luigi did nothing wrong.
My dad died a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't met him for years because of my disability, I'm not sure what the correct translation is for it but "action paralysis" is a direct translation. My anxiety completely shuts me down, both physically and mentally, I've been on long-term sick leave for 15 years due to it (along with general anxiety, depression etc.) My family has been alright in helping me, mostly my mother but she always takes the easy route to just sending me some money or leaving some cooked food, washing my clothes, cleaning my apartment for me etc. Instead of actually helping me get better. Whenever I get on my feet a bit and I manage to get doctor appointments, psychologist, etc. she kinda stops helping, so it always ends with me missing those and going back to square one of needing to contact them, get appointments again etc. It feels like she doesn't actually want me to get better. Ever since this paralysis latched on to being able to meet my father, I've begged and pleaded to both my mom and the rest of my family to help to get in contact with him and meet him, because it was clear he wouldn't love for much longer. They tried like two times then just ignored it. I continued to ask for help, and made it clear I really need that help. I said clearly several times that it's the most important thing in my life now, I told them that they could stop helping with everything else and just help me get to him, but it's like they just didn't hear it. I told them it would break me completely if he died before we could meet. And that's what happened, he died, and I just told them I could never forgive them for this. And since then it's been radio silence. Not even a merry Christmas text or anything. I've lost contact with all my friends because of this disability too so I'm completely alone now. It's a bit over 3 hours till the new year and I'm just sitting home, alone, with barely any food and no clean clothes and a super dirty apartment and I don't know what to do. I'm just broken, I've never been sad in this way before and I don't know how to even start to get better from this.
Is what you are suffering from analysis paralysis? Not that I have any advice's on that aspect, I never heard of the concept before.
On the other hand, in time you could send a new message to your family to explain why you said you cannot forgive them. Not an apology, just another calm explanation. It might be enough to rebuild some links. Even if they are not that reliable enough, in your situation it is better than nothing. Maybe they had reasons for not helping that they'll explain when the time comes.
I hope you'll get better.
Approximately 16kg
I want to somehow go back to 1998 and find young me when I still believed the internet and computers would truly make us love each other more and break down national divides and bring a greater peace to the whole world and i want to punch him square in the mouth.
Also i think this might be my last Christmas. Like I will still be around but Christmas as we grow up with is no longer going to be a thing.
Don't blame the internet for the unjust hierarchy that permeates every facet of human civilization. It is a tool, nothing more.
While I totally agree i also think that tool is like the machine gun in world war 1. We had guns before but it supercharged the rate in which the people in power inflict human misery. It's like web 1.0 was like general relativity. Intelligent people just working for the further understanding of their world. Web 2 was the atom bomb taking that technology and using it to make carnage. Where it had the potential to just light everyone's home.
Disagree. It's a tool that in it's current form changes our way of processing and way of perceiving. It literally changes the way your brain seeks pleasure as well as intakes facts. One that individuals have to have a the money, knowledge, and social/legal/cultural power to take control of otherwise it will modify your decision making in such a way that you don't feel, see, or believe there is a change. It's so ubiquitous, pervasive, and disruptive, that contact and at least minimal acceptance is required to function in the global society.
The isolation, cognitive disrupted, physiological change that the internet has wrought through the smartphone, social media, and the apps is huge and yet not well discussed in anything but academic studies and other rarified forums.
If it makes you feel better, my husband and I met in an online game (while we lived across international borders,) fell in love, and began dating. The game also has VR, and we explored massive chunks of the Milky Way Galaxy over many months during the pandemic :)
We're married now!
It's not young-you's fault, they had us all hooked on that potential. And it 100% had and still has that potential, it's just that the wrong people are calling the shots.
Tell you what, I'll go back with you and we can punch the ones who ruined the internet!
I want to somehow go back to 1998 and find young me
when I still believed the internet and computers would truly make us love each other more and break down national divides and bring a greater peace to the whole worldand i want to punch him square in the mouth.Same.
I mean Ive already given myself a black eye before, but I'd also love to go back and kick my own ass for not being a better person. Future me was never going to change anything Asafum, you dumb fuck. Now it's just 1000x harder and 2 decades down the drain.
Why do you feel you wasted 2 decades? Not enough personal progress? We all do what we can in life.
I'm over this technological improvement of our lives, and it's manipulate existence. My hope is that we and I can put our fucking phones down and actually connect with each other again. We aren't getting out of this economic takeover unless we actually talk to each other like the adults we are supposed to be. Be passionate, but listen. Act with compassion, but defy the fascist ideals. Realize that we are biased and make mistakes, but can learn from those mistakes... Even when as you get older.
Fair point, well played.
Just because history is idealized doesn't mean it was actually better. Hans Rosling said it really well describing his standard of living improvement.
With that said, the world has not adapted to technology in it's current incarnation yet, along side the other challenges it's a tough world for all but the very wealthy and even they are showing signs of increased anxiety, stress, and depression.
Being ruled by our evolved cognitive biases through our technology, requires external regulation before the vast majority of the humanity can cope with the change.
My roommate and I used to date and I'm still in love with them. We're making it work well but everything is messy
I went through a lot of therapy to get past my fear of telling people I love them and getting broken up with shortly after, the day I was going to tell my now roommate I love them they broke up with me out of nowhere. We didn't even date that long and the breakup was nearly a year ago and it still hurts. I don't have many regrets in life but not telling them sooner is one of them
I had lower surgery shortly after they broke up with me. I was so excited to have someone there for me emotionally and physically after surgery. Now I have nobody and I'm scared to have sex. I don't know how to work past this and therapy hasn't been helping
I just want to be able to connect with someone without the crushing weight of trust issues around every corner. I miss being with my roommate so much, one of the happiest and most exciting relationships I've ever had
I hope things work out for you ❤️
Just wanted to send some love your way. 2025 will be your year ❤️
2025 is going to be very difficult for me but it's hopefully transitory into better stuff. My entire social circle collapsed this year so I'm taking the opportunity to move to Sweden and hopefully go back to school. Don't have to worry so much about leaving my friends and loved ones behind if I don't have very many left lol
I have to admit that I won't be on good terms again with my sibling for a long while. They did some very distressing things this year that were a large contributor to my burnout. Never apologized for it, never tried to fix anything. I'm done with that tbh
We can't pick our family, but we can pick who is in our lives.
Things did not improve with my family until I showed them the door. They still suck, but they definitely reigned it in once they realized they were optional in my life.
Set boundaries, stick to them. Even if the only way to be happy is to never see them again. This is their problem, not yours.
This hits home for me. It’s so frustrating to have close family members treat you like trash. I don’t know how to handle it.
I think I've talked with my sibling twice in the last three years. They've gone off the deep end with right wing stuff and I just don't have the capacity for it. It's difficult to cut ties but sometimes it's the way to go
I'm sorry. You for sure deserve better. You should be proud for wanting to set boundaries. Pretty big way to show oneself some love.
Haven't spoken to my sibling in a few years either. He was at a sensitive point in his life during covid, and I tried to help him through force (note: you cannot force someone to seek help). My biggest regret. I live in the hope that he'll one day come back to us.
If I don’t get my health in order, build better habits, and find a decent job this year, I’ll probably end up dead before 2025 ends. Somethings not right with my body but without insurance or an income to get a plan from the marketplace, either my heart, lungs, or Crohns will take me out.
Sounds like you live in the US. Do you know anyone that lives in states that have Medicare for low/no income earners? Perhaps you could claim you live at their place and drive in after you submit your application for their program and get free healthcare?
I'm not a lawyer, but if you have your friend to back up your story they wont be able to prove you dont live there. Youre just out of town looking for work.
We live in a unjust world, do not follow these rules that were not made for us. The insurance corporations sure have bent and broken the rules to put this "Healthcare system" in place. You should to. Fight back.
Hope you find your way. Peace.
Thank you. Yes, I’m a software engineer by trade in the US and really hope this new year and the new administration (not saying I agree with it) encourages businesses to hire again. Been applying and interviewing since July with no success. Many other devs I talk to that left/loss their jobs last year have shared the same experience.
Once I get that sorted out, I should be able to get insurance again. It’s just crazy that you need to be working to even attempt to be healthy and get the care needed.
I can't stay on the path I've been on the last couple of years. This path is a damn circle, and that's no good!
I hope one day you get off this beaten path and into your lazy river. Is the lazy river also going in a circle? Yes... but it's chill and where you want to be.
