When the only thing neuken me in my keuken is life. 😔
95 0 ReplyKutleven!
(The Dutch attach genitals or diseases to words to turn them into swearwords. This one is often used for "shit life" but it literally means "vagina life" which I find very fitting and ironic in this context)
42 0 Replycunt life would be better. Even more correct: a cunt’s life , ie a very bad life.
26 1 ReplyTo add a few more examples:
- zakkenwasser (sack/bollocks washer, an asshole)
- lul-de-behanger ([mister]cock-the-wallpaperer, also translates to asshole)
- lullen (dicking/cocking, talking nonsense)
13 0 Reply
this sounds funny bc keuken sounds like dick in swedish
10 0 ReplyAnd kök looks like cock in English, so we've come full circle (I know it's not pronounced that way)
9 0 Reply
Swedish Chef.gif
43 0 ReplySwedish Chef was always really Dutch. All faux-Nordic languages by Americans is.
7 0 ReplyHe really should be named Duch chef.
5 0 Reply
Turkey slap
2 0 ReplyWe used to call that a mushroom stamp.
2 0 ReplyPenalizing someone works too
3 0 Reply
I read this in Canadian.
"Oh yeah bud, we were just neuken in keuken all night eh?"
22 0 Reply“When yer livin’ in the good ol’ American north, sometimes nucken in the keuken is the only entertainment ya have, don’tcha know?”
9 0 ReplyYe'll freeze ta death out here witout yer neuken bud.
4 0 Reply
Nederlands regel :-)
Something that's always confused me is that here we don't pronounce numbers from left to right. So instead of hundred ninety six (100-90-6) we say honderd zes-en-negentig (100-6-90)
21 0 ReplyEnglish used to be that way as well:
Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie.
In these lyrics "four and twenty" means 24
24 0 ReplyWhich actually makes sense when you remember that English, before the Normans at least, was very close to dutch.
11 1 Reply
I used to work in England as an export clerk for a Dutch transport company. This is the first phrase my Dutch colleges taught me.
17 0 ReplyI did an exchange program with the Netherlands once (Mgr Frencken College or something) and this sentence and a weird ass kick dance was all I learnt
I think you can add on de keukentafel?
8 0 ReplyI'm like "let's look up some jumpstyle videos on YouTube for the onlookers in this conversation" but I think it's all been deleted out of sheer cringe.
8 0 ReplyDo you remember what it was called even? We just called it The Dutch Jump Dance but my guess it is not the native dance of your people
2 0 ReplyWould you be able to describe it? I'm genuinely curious.
1 0 Reply
If you're talking early 2000s I know exactly what dance you mean. That was a short but intense fad.
3 0 ReplyYeah it was around that time and I am very certain you have the right one in mind. It ended up being the secret "I participated in the Holland exchange" dance in our school and I can still kick it
3 0 Reply
This became even funnier because I'm Swedish.
Naken means Nude, which Neuken is pretty close too. Kuken means "the dick", which Keuken sounds like. So that would translate to "Naked in the dick".
We could also go with Neuken sounding almost like Nuked, which would bring us "Nuked in the dick".
This is funny in so many ways with three languages mixed.
4 0 ReplyI did it all for the neuken
3 0 ReplyMooie meisjes, met kaas!
2 0 ReplyModded fallout 4
1 0 Reply