Please seek help because I don't like seeing good people in this place. If you need help, please call 988. You're worth it.
I guess that’s the American help line? To anyone that struggles with residency in Germany, there’s the Telefonseelsorge. To bring up the courage and reach out is hard, but no one will ever judge you!
Yes, I apologize for the assumption that you are US-based. The 988 help line is the recent addition to our system. Instead of summoning the police which makes everything worse, this gets mental health assistance.
It is what it is bottle up everything what's the worst that can happen
My homies: Marcus, Seneca and Epictetus.
I am a fan of Schopenhauer and Cioran myself - go so low that the only choice is to go up from there.
Cheers me up quite quickly too, perhaps I'm just morbid by default (Nietzsche doesn't quite do it for me)
No one, because the only people in my life either wouldnt give a fuck, or would try to basically turn it into a competition ("Oh, you have X? I have X too, only worse. And also Y.").
So I internalize it and push it all down into a tight little ball in my lower abdomen, until the day comes where it becomes a cancer and consumes me.
I hope that changes for you at some point.
Well past the halfway mark and it never has, so I doubt it ever will.
Do you know where that tight little ball in your lower abdomen should go? Down the shitter. You don't have to internalise it. You are your own best friend.
What else am I supposed to use that blasted appendix for, if not this?
I feel extemely lucky to have a crew of guys that I've known for 45-35yrs....school chums, lifelong friends. We don't hesitate to talk to eachother. Best feature...we aren't afraid to say "love you" upon departure, etc....I believe this is extremely rare for a bunch of hetero/CIS guys.
That's impressive. How did you manage to stay in contact for so long? Hoping my friend group can stay similarly close, although I can't say for sure. (Coming from a teenager.)
Depends on your life situation. I have a small group like this, but I met them randomly after high school, but I still talk to a few high school friends on occasion.
I also moved across the entire country after high school, which didn't help with keeping in touch. Once you find the right group, especially now it's super easy to stay in touch through the internet or just phones.
Core of the group stayed pretty local. People went to college within a 3 hour radius. People got jobs close to our home town. We just kept hanging out. It also is important that there is a group of women that are from the class behind us, '87. Two of them are wives of my BFFs.
Who do you reach out to
Nobody
and why
Asperger's
Okay, technically I'm reaching out to my homie depression
I reach out to my husband, who is super awesome and usually can help me put my problems either into perspective or out of my mind. I'm usually good at changing my mental channel, but sometimes I struggle and I'm grateful that he knows how to help.
When I'm not at my breaking point but am having a crappy day, I reach out to my dog. She's not very cuddly and she's dumb as a box of hair. She'll sniff my face (focusing on the eyeballs, god knows why) and then turn away and cold shoulder me. But if I try to get up and walk away she'll follow me like velcro. It cheers me up in a bizarre way :)
You're very lucky to have him. Upvoted
I'm the luckiest! He's a wonderful man.
I am blessed to have two friendships that I have been able to maintain even through times of depression and paranoia, mostly because they are stubborn and forgiving enough to stay with me and reach out, even when my delusions of having to isolate from everyone because I am too horrible and bad to deserve friendships kick in. It's a privilege I know isn't guaranteed in life and I am so damn lucky that the mess I have comes with them.
If you are going through tough times and don't have anyone at the ready, I know it can be hard, don't give up. There's the professional stuff like therapists, emergency hotlines, self-help groups and, yes, sometimes even strangers on the internet can be enough to give you a necessary mirror to at least lessen any delusional self-hatred and hopelesness that can creep up. Reaching out can be hard and seem impossible, but it is possible, and it is worth it - you are worth it.
Nobody, because I'm afraid to upset/burden anyone by making my problems theirs. It's caused issues in the past for me so I think my best bet will be finding a therapist lmfao
I for one certainly hope your situation changes for the better, therapist or otherwise.
It's worrying how many of the answers are "nobody". Not surprising based on Lemmy's main demographic being men in their 20s-30s, but damn.
I freshly graduated secondary school and still have a tight-knit friend group that I can lean on. Even as we drift apart, I hope I can still maintain this type of support network in the future, although I'm not too optimistic.
Good luck in keeping your group together.
- from someone who never really any friends due to how weird I am/almost enigmatic interests (if I may say so myself)
Thanks, to be fair my social circle always consisted of outcasts that banded together to begin with. I don't think there's much harm in keeping up with some "normal" activities so you have stuff to talk about though.
All the friendships I've had have died away. At this point it's not even worth the trouble. Have fun while it still lasts.
Im not even sure if I have a breaking point anymore, because I could swear if anything it's behind me already. Im already broke.
If you really feel that way, don't be afraid to seek professional help. It can only get better. Hope you'll get better soon!
Too many of my problems are material. Therapist says I'm burnt out and need rest/vacation but my student loans say if you stop paying us down you'll never afford a house. Even paying down principle during the entire interest rate freeze hasn't gotten me below the original loan balance. I can't afford to fix it.
Do you think you carry on in said broken state, or do you feel OK now that said events (which caused the broken state) are behind you?
I think humans can adapt to almost anything. Maybe one day all the walls will come crashing down but for now, they haven't.
Nobody. I just keep it to myself and keep doing what I'm doing. Nobody cares how dudes in their 30s feel unless you're paying them to care.
My brother (in his 30s) calls me up when he needs support, and I do genuinely care. I'm sorry you don't have someone. That must be terrible. 😔
This is such an honest and sad statement that I wish was wrong, but isn't. Whenever I try to open up to another guy, even some of my best friends, they just can't relate, or make me feel understood, I should say. Talking about depressions and anxiety with another dude feels like chatting about mathematical equations instead of being there for one another. It hurts, but I can't change it.
Exactly. Very well put. This is exactly how real life is for us
Suicide prevention hotlines. It helps to have a neutral voice to emphasise with me or tell me what help I need to sought out.
I'm super lucky to have a couple of close friends who I know I can call on. When my dad was dying of cancer at the end of last year, they both took turns coming over so I had company as a distraction 3-4 nights a week. After he passed they even took time off from their jobs and traveled out of town to his funeral while refusing my attempts to pay for their hotel rooms. I'm eternally grateful for them and I don't know how I would've made it through that without them.
Man, those are real friends right there. I’m sorry for your loss.
The internet. Really the only place I have if I am at that point. My family never understands and half the time I don't even think they listen to me. They don't even give platitudes or anything. Usually just a glazed over look and a shrug.
My bartender. They're great listeners. Sometimes you just need to get it all out to someone that listens. They don't need to provide advice or anything.
I yell into the void. In reality I don't have a person like that.
I've really been surprised at the kind, supportive comments i see on the fed - much more that i ever saw on r/.
I agree, especially how honest people seem to be. I wish I could hug everyone in here and tell them it's okay to be sad.
No one anymore. I usually go to suicide forums tbh. It kinda helps to go somewhere where people talk openly about it.
I remember the first time I tried to end my life so well. I was ready to give it all up, f*ck the pain y'know. I've never spoken about it with anyone close to me, I don't think that I ever will.
My therapist, provided I reach the breaking point at a convenient time when we have a session scheduled.
Everybody on earth should have a therapist, whether they think they need one or not
Especially therapists, probably.
But expensive
Unfortunately
I reach out to Billy Bong Thorton and Wesley Pipes because they really help alot!
Nobody. Everytime I've reached out in the past has never worked out. Haven't gone outside in about 5 years. I go to therapy, but 1 hour a month isn't enough to even scratch the surface of what I'm dealing with let alone anything new that happened between visits. I feel like a burden to my girlfriend and family (dont even have much of that left anymore.) And I'm too far gone at this point to make friends. If they won't invite me to game night over steam, why would I think they'd let me trauma dump on them or cry on their shoulder? Even typing this comment feels like a pointless cry for attention.
"We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes."
- Aldous Huxley
Same, dude, same.
You guys turn to people when things get rough?
I guess when things get tough I'll turn to my older brother for support, one hug and everything is alright. But before him I was alone
My cats, husband, close friends and then therapist. Why I cuddle with my cats during hard times should be obvious, also husband. But when it's really bad I definetly text or call my therapist and cry on her voicemail.
I guess it depends on what I'm at my breaking point about. In prior times, it would have been my spouse. Now that I'm considering leaving them, it's been my handful of close friends from school. I trust their judgement and advice, and they've always been a supportive presence despite the many stressors of the past few years. I know if things got really bad, they'd take me in temporarily or try to help however was in their means.
My friends. I have a wonderful small group who at this point know when I need to talk, or when I need a distraction, or when I just need to sit in quiet but still want company. I'm fairly confident that I wouldn't be here without them.
Spouse or best friend, depending on the situation. (If my spouse is driving me up a wall, best friend it is!) Larger friend group of it's something less personal or that I want advice or help from multiple people for. It's taken me a long time, and a lot of personal healing and growth, to get to this point in my life where I have so many people I can rely on. It's really nice.
No one. Tired of having people turn their back or outright slapping my hands away. Even had two therapists forget about me, which was fucking fabulous when I'd just been assessed by the crisis team as high risk for suicide.
Just want someone to relax and play games with, the ask for company has never been a high bar. Easier to have a circle of friends that is empty than be continually forgotten or excluded.
I have people but i don't see the point in talking to others about problems that are in my head. If it gets bad I usually get drunk and complain into the internet void then wake up and delete my account and make a new username and start fresh. The older I get the less I'm pushed towards breaking point.
My mind gets burnt out from feeling that way and I start doing the bare minimum to put food in my belly. It usually goes uphill from there
Our minds work in mysterious ways, that’s for sure. I‘m thankful that I haven’t hit rock bottom for quite a while. It doesn’t hurt to know whom you can reach out to when you do though.
I have been that low a couple of times, and my current mentality has managed to get me out. It's astounding how close it is, somewhat like an unrefined version of self-help books which advise you to get up after getting to such a point.
Also the fact that I have no one to rely on might have made this a coping mechanism.
Cheers
A few times I needed to leave home and get my mind cleared. Distance helped. I would go to my friends house for the night. I’m in Chicago Area and he was in Champaign.
He move to San Francisco so I went to my Grandmothers in Toronto for a week.
Other times I take the dog to do something.
That wasn’t sustainable so I started seeing a therapist if only just to vent and put an emotion on what I’m feeling. I have so much to vent that I make my therapist overwhelmed.
That's not a thing right? Nobody wants to deal with your personal shit. Everyone has their own issues and don't need more. Just like everyone else, nobody. It's my shit to sort out.
We are social creatures and there's just so much you can handle on your own. I wonder what your point of view is about Friendship. What do you consider as a friend? What does make a friend? Genuinely curious.
