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Ignoring the obvious joke, she doesn't display any of Jesus's qualities. Is she gentle, caring, and compassionate? Does she humbly serve the poor and the disadvantaged? Does she forgive her enemies and bless those who oppose her? Does she sacrifice for the benefit of others!?
I'm a Christian and while I don't know for certain, I believe God knows the heart. But I don't expect to see her in Heaven...
she doesn't display any of Jesus's qualities
Disagree.
She has long hair. Ok, not specified in the bible, but it's canon at this point.
Also the episode of Jesus whoring at the theatre... Wait what is this bible?
For a moment I really thought there was something in the bible that could be seen as Jesus "whoring at the theater"
If US Christians are making it up as they go and seeing whatever they wanna see in the Bible, then I call upon you, my child, to announce your submission to the Parable of Jesus the Whore of the Theater and the Christ.
I'll wait for a good uncensored chatbot to write me a seemingly truthful story about exactly that. I wonder how many people would believe it if I just showed them
Me and Jesus await with ’bated breath.
I wonder what he'd say about fanfics concerning him
Despite Him having:
- known you’d be born in ≈2000 years
- known He was dying for sins He defined and you commit, which He also knew and did nothing to prevent
- having had the audacity to whine to His Dad when He unal*ved both a God and Himself in an act of auto‑sui‑dei‑but-also-somehow-fili‑cide-by-cop by and through the innocent hands of local law enforcement, our boys in blue, whom I still salute when I’m driving, and while those closest to Him, who were Jewish, could do nothing but listen to the moaning you are responsible for, but which He chose to endure
- been surprised that His dad forgot about Him,
I believe He’d be surprised if there weren’t Oily/Annointed/Christ Josh/Jesus fanfics of a charismatic 33-year-old, may peace be upon Him, taking it both ends, my son.
Might be in one of the Gnostic gospels.
Brawndon 6:4-7 And thus went Big J to the theatre, for Pagliacus was in town. But when the spectacle started, Jesus was overcome by the lust of whoring. And so it came to pass that he was brought to the tribunal for indecent exposure, and whoring, and petty theft and also grand theft auto, bribery, and contempt, and illegal possession of firearms, and possession and sale of drugs, and illegal possession of a dangerous animal.
Try posting it on Facebook. Your religious friends will be sharing it as hard facts by dinner.
Jesus had hair like lamb's wool, canonically.
And olive skin
No, he was the only white guy in the middle east, as proven buy all church depictions, which are basically photographs. /s
Or are based on Cesare Borgia
I knew the guy was an alien!
She is also white, like Jesus.
True true. And also christian, like Jesus the Jew.
i've heard about this supply-side jesus doing miracles. she pretty much raised some dead tent there.
Jesus would've given handies in the cinema if he was asked.
Through the holes?
👀
MAGA Christian, which is the majority of "Christians".
I can't tell which part you're replying to. Are you saying I'm MAGA!? I agree that unfortunately most "Christians" are, but I dare you to check my history...
Seems like "Christianity" and "following Jesus' teachings, words, and example" are completely at odds. I appreciate what you are saying. Why don't we hear Jesus Followers calling out "Christians" more vocally and often? I'd expect more of a break in the church at this point, but it seems like a fairly united front to me even now.
I have to conclude that the vast majority of Christians are fine with people being shitty as long as they identify as Christian.
There are Unitarian churches and similar places of worship that don't allow this bigotry.
Absolutely, they're at-odds! Church attendance is down and people like me will now walk out if the pastor/leadership starts talking about following Trump. As for why that is, I don't know. I think people have been following money and power rather than Jesus for a while now...
Give atheism a try, you won't regret it.