[off topic]
Hitler is having a bad day at the office. He goes out to take a stroll. He sees Himmler walking along, giggling to himself.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, mein Fuhrer I just heard the funniest joke."
"I could use a laugh right now, tell it to me."
"Are you kidding? I had to shoot the guy who told it to me."
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Why the best comedy isn't funny...
"Man macht keine Witze über den Holocaust."
"Oh, ich vergaß."
Härter vergessen
I had something similar to this happen at a work holiday party.
I was having a chat with one of the sysadmins, and had him absolutely laughing his ass off (very crude, highly nerdy, somewhat intellectual humor - I’m a very niche flavor, and not that funny at all generally, but someone with a good rapport and similar style? Oh man - we were rolling!). This particular sysadmin is known for being a tough nut to crack, not very social, very stoic (basically how I am in social situations), even “weird”, so this drew a ton of attention, and people, including HR, were coming over to ask what was so funny..
Not my company (partner’s) so I’m not about to repeat shit! Plus they probably wouldn’t have understood the context anyway (tho at this point I don’t even remember; it was years ago, I just remember thinking “there’s really no point explaining this, it won’t be funny to them..)
"You had to be there" lol
I hate those situations especially when it's weird niche humor. You can't explain the joke or tell them they won't get it, it's a lose-lose.
An old Jew dies and goes to heaven. He's waiting in line at the gates, and he's telling a joke that has everyone cracking up. God is curious so he wanders over and asks what the joke is. The Jew says, "oh, it's a Holocaust joke". God says, " I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny." The Jew says, "eh, you wouldnt get it, I guess you had to be there"
I told a joke in 6th grade (sorry, it involves drawing and is a little Johnny joke, so can't be typed out and be funny). The punchline was good and inappropriate, of course. My teacher overheard and laughed slightly, then said she was sorry, but she had to send me to the vp's office for it.
Naturally, the vp wanted to know the joke, so I asked for paper and busted it out on him. He outright laughed.
He said he wouldn't feel right punishing me after he laughed at my joke and just made me promise to not tell it at school again.
This was in the beforetimes of internet, but you can probably find a version of it somewhere. Good jokes never die. Without ruining the punchline, I'd try searching "little Johnny school drawing mountain horizon". Hopefully the internet hasn't butchered it.
Someone had to do it, so here it is, copied from that place that we have now left:
One morning to spice things up, teacher decided to have a classroom drawing project. One person would start, then the next student would add to the drawing. She asked the students who wanted to start first, so little Johnny raised his hand. Knowing little Johnny had a disturbed mind, she decided to pick Suzie first.
["I drew a box on the ground!"] (https://i.imgur.com/PicyJVo.jpeg) Proclaimed little Suzie.
The teacher said it was a great start, and asked the next student to add on. Ignoring little Johnny teacher chose Billy.
"I turned the box into a house!"
The teacher thought it was wonderful, and went on to Timmy.
"I added the sun to shine down onto the house!"
"Excellent" replied teacher. Still ignoring Johnny the teacher chose Jenny next.
"I added some snow on the roof because it's been such a snowy winter!"
By this point like Johnny could barely control himself. Teacher thought there was no way Johnny could ever turn this into a dirty picture, so he allowed him up to the chalk board.
"This is my dad bending over in the shower to pick up the soap!"
As I tell my people on the shop floor, I’m not gonna tell on them for shop talk, but I’m not going to say anything at work that I’m afraid to have HR read back to me
I had a job that placed my office right across the hall from HR. There was only 3 HR people at that site but hundreds of employees. We were pretty friendly with each other. The manager would always have a joke.
One day as we're leaving work on a Friday before a 3 day weekend, she said to me
See you next Tuesday!
I started laughing and she is like what is so funny?
Oh hell no! That was a moment. Let me say. I was like oh, yeah sorry I am never going to explain that to you. Best we forget it.
That reminds me when I was in high school and working at fast food. I went up to my shift manager after closing and asked if we were storing some food for morning shift, or are we just throwing it away. Depending on the food, we would do different things and this time we had salads left after closing. We normally never have salads, so I wasn't sure and decided to ask my manager.
I walked up to her while she was counting out money and said something like "did you want me to toss the salad or what?" I immediately heard a coworker bust out laughing at the dishwasher station. Bent over laughing. I finally realized what I said. I was trying to keep a straight face, but I was kinda shocked too. She just laughed a bit and said yeah throw them out.
Can confirm, HR is a joke.
Shoulda told them that they won't get it cuz it's not for girls' ears. An easy out-of-jail card.
This is so fucking stupid it actually becomes glorious. 😂
