I don't want to form parasocial relationships with people I fap to
Parasocial relationships refer to one-sided relationships in which a person develops a strong sense of connection, intimacy, or familiarity with someone they don’t know, most often celebrities or media personalities. These relationships exist only in the mind of the individual, who experiences a bond despite the lack of reciprocity.
Forming parasocial relationships is fine.
Fapping (masturbating) to nsfw content is fine (unless it is illegal or unethical).
But forming a parasocial relationship with someone you fap to feels like cheating if you are in a relationship and a poor substitute for a relationship if you are single.
Right, this post sounds like maybe stuff like Onlyfans has caused some % of the population to think that's somewhat normal, which is a shame.
Recently I saw a post by a guy who said he made a great living as the chat manager for online porn models. He was a guy who operated the chats for women online, posing as the women and engaging the men to fulfill their chat fantasies, to get more money. A great example of why nobody should patronize those scams.
I wouldn't mock a person for having parasocial relationships, but I would mock them for paying a lot of money to an OnlyFans model. I think that there is a spectrum of acceptable parasocial relationships and I am trying to draw a line where "ok" ends and "despicable" begins.
Despicable? I'm curious about where this line is, can you elaborate?
Also, what is your attitude on people who have sex with many partners (with informed consent etc). That could be polyamorous or simply dating & one night stands.
They really aren't, before this egirl insanity began people who obsessed over some distant celebrity were considered pathetic to dangerous (when it came with stalker behavior).
The fact that it becomes more widespread is a symptom of the failing societal fabric and community.
People are so detached and lonely even amongst millions of others they seek emotional support and validation, even romantic fulfillment, in these unhealthy ways.
We can all recognize deeply, egregiously unhealthy parasocial relationships, so I'm not going to bother talking about those.
But there are plenty of what I would call parasocial relationships the track back quite a long time in human history that I think are completely normal.
Take, for example, the famous athlete. If you find a particular athlete to be your favorite, and you watch their interviews whenever they're available, and you get excited when they get paid a bunch of money in a trade, that's a low-key parasocial relationship. Maybe you even send them regular fan mail, cheering them on when they do well or consoling them when they do poorly. You are invested in their life without reciprocity, and find joy and value in simply observing their existence.
There are lots of actors and actress that we love to love, where many people have formed a parasocial relationship: Tom Hanks and Keanu Reeves are two that come to mind.
These are situations that go beyond "yeah I'm a fan" and into feeling some level of investment in their success. It doesn't have to be extreme.
I think, as with many things, there are healthy ways to engage in parasocial relationships in moderation. It becomes a problem when it becomes detrimental to your daily life, especially if it begins to replace other forms of human interaction. If it's just a thing you enjoy on top of other, more typical relationships, them IMO there's nothing wrong with that.
The parasocial part is enough, fapping is just a step beyond.
I don't think people should idolize other people. You can respect someone, but parasocial seems just all around unhealthy to me. Then the person does something out of line and stans will defend them with their lives and find them all other excuses in the book.