That en passant was hot. Be my queen.

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It makes a lot more sense in the earlier versions of chess. The queen used to be the "Vizier". The sultan made the decisions, the Vizier ran around and implemented them.
- that's what it's called in my language.
The higher ups are fighting for the kingdom but the pawns are fighting for hrt
Getting all of your pawns to become queens. The move I call "The King's Harem."
All pawn are actually female, because at most, they can only ever be Queens.
- You can actually promote a pawn to any other piece as well (rook, bishop, knight, etc.), this is known as underpromotion. It's mostly a "why would you ever do that?" thing, though.
  
  There are some situations where promoting to a Queen would result in a stalemate
  
  That's why they said "at most"
- The newest research on this topic found out that the "pawn" is actually hermaphrodite.
"But you already have a queen on the board"

"Have you heard of a sex act called 'the ladder mate'? You're the bottom bitch"

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