Anon goes to a bar

A lot of my friends worked in the bar and restaurant industry over the years and I’ve spent a shit load of time in bars. I’ve had several bars that were my regular haunts for a few years at a time, and I’ve gone through a few completely different sets of, like, “bar friends” over the last 25 years. (One of the “bars” was more of a bar/coffee shop where I drank way more coffee than booze, mind you, but anyways…)

• don’t sit in the corner. The bar is where it’s at.

• talk to the bartenders a bit. Ask about the local scene. Any events going on? If it’s a sports bar, ask about any PPVs coming up if they do that sort thing. If it’s a music bar, ask if they have any good bands coming up or if there’s open mics or whatever. At a minimum that starts up a conversation for a few minutes and gets the ball rolling. Of course, if the bar is being slammed, don’t just pester the bartender like a jerk, they still have other customers and a job to do, but part of their job is getting folks to come back. Repeat business is generally better business, and if you ask about what’s coming up in the future, you’re showing interest in coming back.

• go a few times over the course of a few weeks. People will probably start to remember you.

• any activities at the bar? They have dart boards? Pool tables? Open mics? I’ve sucked at darts and pool but I still played ‘em, and even played in some dart leagues, and no one really cared that I wasn’t particularly great ‘cause neither were they — it was all just an excuse to get out of the house for a bit.

• the music scene is where I landed in the end. That’s been the last 15 years for me, really. It all just started by showing up, asking about shows, “any good bands coming up? What are the Bluesy Jazzies like? I've never seen them before, they worth the cover?”

• don’t limit yourself to bars. Coffee shops, table top game stores, go bowling, whatever. It’s all really just about talking to people, starting with the chitchat, making inquiries, getting involved in some activities. Eventually you’ll be socialized as fuck.

Find a dive bar and go at the same time/times every week for at least 8 visits. You’ll know it’s a dive bar if it smells like the beer has soaked into the walls and floors and someone offers you a bump of coke in a bathroom that’s too small for two people. You will absolutely make friends but they might not be the best influences on your life. They’ll be really loyal and probably kinda funny though.

See that's the wrong idea, meeting people in bars can be creepy and dangerous. For everyone alone that want to meet new people go for some classes or groups. In anything that you think interesting. Learn a new language, join a dance class, theater class, matial arts, Hiking group, advocacy, do some charity work, learn some obscure sport like disk golf, go do some larping... whatever floats your boat. Don't go for things you don't already like a bit, like if you are an indoor person don't go for hiking, it can get old quick. This are the nice and cerified ways to meet new people without being awkward

Here it is, casually explained: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vfxwNqLShyE