When a female friend of mine used to come over she would often leave the bathroom door open and the toilet seat down with the lid up. I didn't like that because my cat used to drink toilet water. Also, when you flush, particles of what you're flushing go everywhere. The lid minimises this. They proved it on Mythbusters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFzgNSO6t6c
So I understand the feeling of someone not leaving the toilet how they found it when they use it in your home after being asked to stop it.
But mine was for reasons I've just explained.
You're facing the toilet when you walk up to it. Surely you can see what state the seat is and change it accordingly? Can someone please explain to me why the toilet seat being up or the lid being down is stereotypically such a problem for women?
The first motion is to reach down and lift the lid. If you don't feel the lid, you curse yourself for having kids, lower the seat, and sit normally. Then you close the lid when you're done.
Are these women just... How to say this delicately... Dumb? Like you walk into the bathroom facing the toilet. You can't help but see it. Are you telling me they drop their pants and just do a trust fall onto the rim? I'm guessing no. I think it's a meme and women just don't want to have to put the lid up before going.
As an older woman myself, I often have to pee in the middle of the night. I don't want to wake my husband by turning on the bathroom light, which leaks around and under the door. Honestly, I don't want to shock my own brain that much awake either, I just want to pee, wipe, flush, wash hands and go back to sleep. I can do all that in the dark. So yeah, pitch black in there.
Fortunately my husband never leaves the seat up. Our new toilets have the "quiet close" lids, so we can flick it closed, and see that the flush worked while the lid goes slowly down. Not in the dark of course but it's just pee.
This is 1000% a thing and I would be shocked if the majority of women who have lived with men haven't experienced this at least once in their lives. It happens just like in this post: in the middle of the night, you don't turn on the lights and you just go through the motions without thinking because you're half asleep. Not a fun way to wake up. Super jarring, kinda hurts, gets your ass wet, and that lip of the toilet is just generally a little grosser than the seat.
I mean, I'm a guy, I generally just leave the seat down 99% of the time and pee without lifting it. If there's any drips or splashes I'll just wipe it up. But every time I go in to poo or pee sitting down at night I always just check to make sure the toilet is how I want it. There's no reason not to just give it a quick check.
Muscle memory, going on autopilot, and it not being immediately obvious in the dark. Idk what to tell y'all, when you sit down to use the bathroom 100% of the time it's just not top of mind when you're barely awake.