I am pretty sure they still can bite you

I dunno, 4e ones look pretty dark to me (picture from dragon 367)

Personally I and my bestie dm lie on "tf2 medic". You don't die, because there is just so much more suffering fun to be done

Well, 4e had the solution all along (yes, I'm referring to my old post on Reddit)

Well, at least for 3.5e you have book of weaboo fightan magic (book of nine swords). Nothing even close has come out for 5e.