I remember that something my mom was talking about hurt my feelings, and made me angry, but this time I said something. I love her, I rely on her, there is a lot I can't do with out her but there is a lot of stress right now and I am not handling it well. I remember her putting on her shoes and driving away, thinking I was going to be homeless.

I called the suicide hotline but got disconnected, I don't know if it was my phone or theirs, I screamed and cried, I must have been hitting myself, I know there was a lot of fear, and self hate, I kept saying I don't know, I think they took me to the hospital in the police car, I know the room I was in was too quiet, they told me I called 911, I just wanted to be gone.

There was a lot I was told and I don't remember.

I understand in person/public when people say "How are you?" they aren't seriously asking, well...I don't understand but I know it is a thing. However, in a online social group when they are having a "mental health check in" are you only allowed to say "fine" and move on?

I mean I am not going to unload but there is a lot bad right now, there is no silver lining for me right now, am I suppose to just act like all is good? I am not that good at lying and some of these people have known me a long time.

Am I too far off base to think the idea of a mental health check in is to talk with everyone else, share, commiserate, and find some relief in opening up?

Deep Breath, and done.

I am very much a black coffee person, that said, once in a while I wouldn't mind flavor of some sort in my coffee, I see these people with there French Vanilla, or cinnamon coffee creamer and I will admit I get a bit jealous.

I am working on getting in shape, other than round, and on a budget, so I have been toying with the idea of trying a protein powder or something similar as creamer.

I was hoping I could get some alternative ideas for coffee creamer here. I am looking for low calorie, and ideally something with protein. Does anyone have an idea?

I think my mom is getting me Samsung Buds for Christmas, I have no ability to change this in anyway, however I am also not sure of this.

I am wondering if any of you have any experience with them, and if you would mind sharing what they are like with me?

There was a question I came across a few days ago. It was something like "How does it feel to wear the mask?"

I tend to write when I get overstimulated to help myself get some of it out before I find my quiet place and try to regroup. If I am having trouble putting whole thoughts together it comes out as bad poetry.

I figured what good is bad poetry with out an audience so I give you...bad poem:

Beyond insignificant Somehow in the way They see me, why, when I am this small To not fit, slipping through the crack The words don't work they don't understand What's the point, they will never know They don't see Me, how could they They'll never know

Hello, how are, is what they see Stop, get away, I can't, RUN Yes, sure, happy to If only I didn't have to wake up Any time, love you too Help me, HELP ME, HELP ME!

My costume is too big This mask is too tight I am burning up I feel like a failure for hiding again It makes me angry, scared, tried, no exhausted, sad, and useless.

Palpatine thinks he is relevant to this.

First, I am a late diagnosis, so if some of my terminology is offensive please tell me, assimilation is hard.

On the the point, I have been noticing a pattern, I am in a number of allistic or mixed groups, online or in meetup type spaces. I am trying to expand my social circle, and I have nearly always been alone.

Is it typical amongst nurotypical people to respond to a question with need for information questions and then, when they realize that (and I don't know which) they're not interested or they can't help they just move on, not explain that they can't help or aren't interested?

Scientists identified a new strain of a parasite that causes the disease leishmaniasis, and they mainly found it in people who had not recently traveled outside the U.S.

The parasitic disease leishmaniasis used to crop up in the U.S. mostly among people who had traveled to tropical regions. But now, a unique, local strain of the parasite may be gaining a foothold in the country, a new study suggests.

In addition, there are potential concerns that imported dogs may be driving the spread of another form of the disease, a second research group has cautioned. 

Leishmaniasis is a neglected tropical disease caused by parasites; it spreads to humans through the bites of female sand flies (Phlebotomus), although in rare cases it can also spread via blood transfusions or through sharing contaminated needles. The most common form of the disease, called cutaneous leishmaniasis, causes skin sores and ulcers to erupt where someone is bitten, and if left untreated, these can become disfiguring scars. 

Cutaneous leishmaniasis has been detected in the U.S. before, notably in Southern states, such as Texas. However, such cases have been sporadic and seen mainly in people who have returned to the U.S. from countries where it's endemic, meaning where it typically spreads, such as parts of Central and South America, the Middle East, the Mediterranean and Central Asia. 

In the first of two presentations given Thursday (Oct. 19) at the Annual Meeting of the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (ASTMH) in Chicago, researchers reported that they detected a genetically distinct strain of a Leishmania parasite that causes cutaneous leishmaniasis. The newfound strain belongs to the species Leishmania mexicana, and it's different from strains that typically cause imported leishmaniasis cases in the U.S.

That suggests that the new strain is being spread by U.S. sand flies, Vitaliano Cama, one of the study's leaders and a senior adviser with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Division of Parasitic Diseases and Malaria, told Live Science.

To arrive at these findings, the researchers genetically sequenced more than 2,000 tissue samples from patients with suspected cutaneous leishmaniasis across 50 U.S. states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands between 2005 and 2019. As of 2018, more than 80 cases of locally-caught human leishmaniasis have been reported in the U.S., but it's difficult to accurately estimate the case numbers.

That's because, while cutaneous leishmaniasis is a reportable condition in Texas, meaning diagnoses must be reported to local public health officials, this isn't the case nationally. The new analysis therefore acted almost as a proxy for surveillance, allowing researchers to get a sense of how often the disease occurs, Cama said.

Leishmania parasites were identified in 1,222 of the more than 2,000 tissue samples; more than 1,100 of the samples were from people who had traveled internationally, while 86 were from nontravelers. Of these 1,222 samples, 164 were L. mexicana, of which 52 cases, or 32%, occurred in Texas. L. mexicana was the most common species found among nontravelers, with more than 60% testing positive for it.

The team detected two distinct strains of L. mexicana: ACT and CCC. The first appeared dramatically more prevalent in travelers, while the latter was much more common in nontravelers, especially those in Texas.

"These findings offer evidence that leishmaniasis may be endemic in the United States," the authors wrote in their abstract.

It is still unknown what pressures caused the CCC strain to evolve or whether it can spread between sand flies and humans more easily than other strains, Cama said. But the team hopes that their analysis will make it easier to detect locally-acquired cutaneous leishmaniasis cases if they crop up in additional regions of the U.S.

There are also concerns that a different, deadlier form of the disease, called visceral leishmaniasis, may start spreading in the U.S., a second research group said at the ASTMH meeting.

Visceral leishmaniasis is usually caused by the species L. donovani and L. infantum. The disease can cause fever, weight loss, anemia, and spleen and liver enlargement, and it's fatal in more than 95% of cases that aren't treated. In their presentation, the researchers cautioned that U.S. sand fly populations could be picking up L. infantum by feeding on imported dogs that carry the parasite.

"There's been a slow trickle of [infected] dogs being imported into the U.S.," specifically from countries where L. infantum is endemic, such as Turkey, Christine Peterson, director of the Center for Emerging Infectious Diseases at the University of Iowa, told Live Science. Indeed, there have been past reports of L. infantum-carrying dogs being imported to the U.S. and Canada, and it's known that at least some breeds can pass the parasite to their puppies during pregnancy.

"It turns out, because of where they came from, and exposures that usually their mom had, [these dogs] have had Leishmania infantum," Peterson said.

Peterson suspects that this issue could come to a climax due to several factors, including an uptick in people rescuing dogs from endemic countries, a lack of screening for these imported dogs, and a warming climate that could allow sand flies to expand their range. For these reasons, Peterson and her colleagues proposed a new risk assessment tool that could be used by veterinarians and public health officials to screen imported dogs and help control infection.

The new tool has yet to be tested, but Peterson said that her team will be providing it to state veterinarians and agencies for immediate use.

In the meantime, "the most straightforward way to control this disease, because dogs really are the reservoir, is to put the basic flea- and tick-insecticide impregnated collars on them or use some of the topical or oral ones," Peterson said.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to offer medical advice.

Carl says...

PD: Pastor arrested, charged with sexually abusing a child at Covington church

I am a bit of a law junkie, but not a lawyer by any means. With the Bob Menendez superseding indictment today an old question came up. I feel like I should know this but...

Does a superseding indictment have to be a more "serious" charge? (Sorry for the terminology) this may be a bad example but if someone had already been charged with burglary could a superseding indictment then be unlawful entry?

This seemed a not bad article about self care, some solid tips here, let me know what you think.

Turned out to be a much more interesting article than I thought it would. Even talks about the double empathy problem.

Going to make a patch for my backpack.