I don't think that would work, hospice nurses are pretty chill. I mean no matter how much of an asshole you are, they know they can smugly wait and watch you die.
Iirc that's not even their heaven it's just where their best fighters go to join Odin's army so they can fight and lose in Ragnarok. Iirc Hel is their underworld and it can be a good or bad place depending on who you are.
Why would you want to go to Valhalla? If you're tossing juice at a caretaker to cheat your way into an afterlife, you're not the type that'd do well murdering people for eons.
How does that connect? Maybe they were the type who was really good at murdering and bad at dying. Now they're old and weak because that and this is the last chance to escape Hel's grip.