Every Thanksgiving since I was a child, I've had to make something for Thanksgiving. Typically, and I think this goes for many Americans (and presumably Canadians cause they have a similar Thanksgiving), this involves sharing the kitchen with way too many cooks. It can be difficult to know what tools you'll have in an unfamiliar kitchen, and when/if you'll be able to use the stove, oven, etc.
I'm trying to move things towards a better model, where I make the entire menu, and other people are responsible for drinks and cleanup, but there are always holdouts determined whatever particular dish they feel strongly about.
My normal approach is:
Insist on making the turkey. The turkey is the most common thing people mess up, and it sucks to have to choke down dry turkey.
Bring an insane amount of my kitchen with me. Words can't describe how frustrating it is to try to cook with only the world's dullest knives, a thermometer that starts at 160 F for "rare beef", and only a salt shaker of iodized salt.
Do as many "make ahead of time" or "make outside of the kitchen" dishes as possible. Sous vide sweet potatoes, salads, etc.
What are your methods for ensuring that your Thanksgiving meal doesn't suck?
P.s. My packing list for things to bring to cook at another person's house contains:
Thermometers, knives, shears, a scale, cutting boards, rimmed baking sheets, cooling racks, a vegetable peeler, a microplane, a pepper grinder, kosher salt, aprons, a big mixing bowl or two, a cake tester, a bread knife, a citrus juicer, a few Mason jars, butcher twine, a gravy separator, all the herbs and spices I'll need, a high wall saute pan, a sturdy frying pan, baking soda, baking powder, yeast, lemons, limes, butter, my sous vide circulator, heavy duty foil, and a liquid measuring cup.
Tuesday: make cornbread for dressing, crumble enough to make the dressing, share the rest with family and/or birds and squirrels, cover the crumbled cornbread with a towel and let dry overnight
Wednesday: put on music and make as many sides and desserts as can be made ahead including the dressing, maybe a glass of cheer to set the mood
Thursday: cook the beast (not always turkey here), warm up sides, enjoy family/company or hide out in the kitchen being busy if things get awkward
Sunday: dry brine turkey, wrap it up in plastic and refrigerated.
Monday: get bread from local baker, cut and toast to make base for stuffing, then make my cranberry compote.
Tuesday: make turkey gravy. Already have basic turkey stock, so cook additional onion and celery in stock and strain, then build gravy from a roux. Make my pea and corn succotash.
Wednesday: unwrap the turkey and return it to the fridge to let the skin dry out. Make the mashed potatoes with roasted garlic and a ridiculously large amount of butter.
T-day: roast the turkey, cook the stuff and bring other items up to temperature.
Others are bringing a couple veggie sides, desserts, salads and appetizers, so I'm pretty free for the main meal.
Like others, I do the turkey because it's moist, tender and juicy in my hands and I don't trust others to do it well.
If you are largely responsible for the meal but are forced into traveling to make the meal, I'd probably do most of the prep at home and if it's practical, do most of the cooking there as well. You would have your tools there and won't run the risk of forgetting something or having some clueless but well meaning relative ruining something that you care about. You can also get that lovely turkey gravy flavor by roasting turkey legs and wings in the oven a few days before, then using that with a mirepoix to build a turkey stock to make the gravy.
One thing I'm finally doing this year is having a second turkey. I always get a good turkey from a local farm, but grocery stores sell the frozen, pre-brined ones for so cheap, I just picked another up for about $5. I'm going to part that one out, and sous vide the breasts, and figure something else out for the rest of the meat. Then I can use that carcass to make good stock ahead of time.
Well I am only in charge of stuffing, (which we agreed to and will share) and cranberry sauce (which I make because I want to eat it even though no one else will). Since we are going to be going to two locations back to back I will be making the cranberry sauce ahead of time, likely on Tuesday while working from home. That way I can taste and tests until it is spiced to my taste since no one else will really eat it.
As far as stuffing / dressing goes I will likely make it ahead of time as well. This will be done likely on Wednesday and will heat it up Thursday morning to crisp up the top. For the first location I will do it at home and the second I will do it on the shared oven. Its not ideal to crisp up the tops in the shared oven but we are going to go there early to escape the first Thanksgiving early.
We did the whole deal at our place a few years ago and it was chaos. We made the bread, the stuffing and all sides ahead of time. We planned to have the turkey ready to rest when people were suppose to arrive. That way the oven was open and I could focus on the gravy. The gravy ended up great even though I didn't have a gravy shaker which was apparently the greatest sin. Don't worry we got multiple of them for Christmas that year
I make those same two recipes, lol. I've never heard of a gravy shaker; it looks like a protein shaker bottle. I assume it's basically just meant to keep the gravy loose?
They are the best and are both in The Food Lab. I think most people make those recipes, especially the stuffing. An alternative meat and a break from pure starch is needed.
The gravy shaker is to dissolve the flour easier. You take some liquid out and mix it with the flour in the shaker and pour it back in. Its apparently a sin to not have one in the Midwest. Even though I can do the same thing with a whisk and I only make gravy at most once a year for Thanksgiving. I think I have used it once
I cook at my own place, but it makes 100% sense to bring your gear with you. This is especially important if maybe they just don't have something. Can't really think of anything you're missing! Eggs, maybe?
Generally speaking, do whatever you can the day before (or several dayd before, even). Most sides will reheat well. Pies and such can be made in advance. If you do something like sous vide turchetta, you only need to brown it/heat it before serving since it's already cooked.