TIFU by stabbing myself in the ass
TIFU by stabbing myself in the ass
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Smulin on 2023-06-28 00:06:14+00:00.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language and this is my first reddit post. 👀
I'm a 24 year old female that's currently studying to become a florist. My program contains a number of "work experience periods" where we usually work in flower shops for a month to then go back to school for a month -and so on. Now happens to be one of those periods so I'm working at a flower shop in my nearest city. I've been there before so I already now both the owner and the employe (let's call her Jessica).
Yesterday (not today I know, but close enough) was a hot summer day with quite low customer activity. I worked with Jessica and we decided to go out to the area where they keep the outdoor plants to trim them. Well, some of them -really- needed a trim so I got to work. For the most part I only used my fingers to pinch off the dried flowers and ugly leaves, but when that didn't do the trick I used my beloved floral scissors. I use this one. https://gronytekonsult.se/dewp2/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/T55C_open.jpg Lets say, it's very very sharp. I worked on that for maybe 30 min, took a tea break with Jessica and went back at it again while she went inside to serve some custimers.
This time I noticed that my feet where starting to hurt from prolonged standing, so I lowered into a crouch sitting position to give them a short break. I continued switching between my hands and the scissors in this position and put the scissors on the floor beside me whenever I didn't need it with my eyes fully fixated on the plant.
After a while I started to feel uncomfortable in my crouching position so I adjusted to change pressure point and in a blink of an eye I felt a sharp sensation in my right butt cheek while I heard the fabric of my favourite short jumpsuit ripp. Did I just stab myself by sitting on a pair of freaking scissors? How is it even possible to place it with the clipping parts upright in perfect stabbing position without even looking? It can't be. I pulled out the scissors by instinct and dropped it on the floor, still not sure if it went inside or just poked my exterior skin, when I spotted a tiny amount of blood on my finger.
I then rushed in as fast as I dared with my right hand awkwardly holding on to my butt cheek to find Jessica all by herself at the counter -Luckily all the customers had already been served. I told her I just sat on my floral scissors and asked her to take a look if it went through while I rolled upp my right short to expose my butt. After a quick inspection she confirmed that I sure had two pretty deep cuts in my butt while she grabbed some tissues to stop the bleeding. To my surprise it neither hurt that much or bled a lot wich just made the whole situation humoristic.
She cleaned the area the best that she could and patched me up with bandaids while we laughed before temporary closing the shop to drive me to the nearest hospital (5 min drive). I entered the healthcare centre, took a queue ticket and waited patiently for my turn, hoping that I would't feel blood trickling down my leg any near soon. I laughed when I told the woman in the reception what happened and noticed her attemt to not show her amusement too.
To my luck someone canceled their appointment wich made it possible for them to take me in within minutes. I asked the nurse how deep the cuts where and she told me she could take a photo of them to show me if I would like to. I accepted the offer thinking she would take it with my phone but she took it with what I assume was her work phone while I hinted a quick smirk on her face. Something is telling that we aren't the only people who laid our eyes on that picture. I hope I'm right because it looked quite hilarious.
To wrap this up, I got three stitches on each wound, a shot of tetanus vaccine, a follow up appointment, a good laugh and it didn't cost me a dime. I'm incredibly thankful for the free healthcare in my country! Sitting, espacially on a toilet is a literal pain in the ass, I have a bit of trouble walking and some sensory loss in one area, but overall 10/10 stabbing experience. I still have no clue how I managed to pull this off but I hope I'll learn to be more aware of my surroundings before sitting down. 😂
I'm quite sure that I've lost all of the readers by now but if someone's still here, you're a real one! 💐
TL;DR: I accidently sat on floral scissors which gave me six stiches, tetanus vaccine and a fun story."