Empathy in open source: be gentle with each other
Empathy in open source: be gentle with each other
Over the last few weeks I had been preparing a talk on “Inclusive Mentoring: Mentoring Across Differences” with one of my good friends at Amazon. Unfortunately, that talk got canceled because I came down with COVID when we were supposed to be presenting.
But the themes we covered in the talk have been rattling in my brain ever since, and suddenly I’m seeing them everywhere. One of the big ones was about empathy — what it is, what it isn’t, and how you can practice it. Now that I’m thinking about it, I see empathy so often in open source.
Drew DeVault just posted about the forbidden topics of the hacker/programmer/developer communities
Very well written!
I found the article to be way wordier than necessary. The linked video "The Hard Parts Of Opensource" was way more interesting than the article, IMO. A call to empathy won't change anything, especially if it isn't heard. Changing the mode of engagement will however, probably bring about change. And the suggestions in the video (a mere 40 minutes in) seem more actionable.
Please read researchers Kegan & Lahey's book "Immunity to Change", and understand that the unconscious-mind-development-level of a person defines their mode...
Kegan-3 people''s unconscious is in absorbing mode, and just wants to be liked by everyone...
Kegan-4 people's unconscious is in forcing-out-meaning-that-isn't-MY-meaning mode, Kegan calls that "self-authoring" mode, I call it Bulling-BOSS mode, and it rejects that validity CAN be win-win, it MUST ONLY be zero-sum-game, therefore if anybody-else has any validity, that is felt, instinctively, to detract from the Kegan-4 person's unconscious felt-validity.
Kegan-5 is systems-of-systems mode, and has no problem with diversities-of-validities.
The reason I'm telling you this, is simply that it may be required to identify people whose Kegan-4 stage ( 25% of the WEIRD professionals they were working with ) is too bulling, and get them out from a team, if balance cannot be earned, or if their bulling/aggression is too harmful to others: it is a stage, and it can last many years.
Sunzi/SunTzu: you must know both yourself AND the other, or you are incompetent in the context you really are in!
Please also read the book by researchers Logan, King, & Fischer-Wright, "Tribal Leadership", which is about the 5 LEVELS of cultural-process, from the worst ( inmate/gang culture mode ) to the supreme ( LIVING IS SELF-INHERENTLY-AWESOME!! : ), and it identifies that level-2 is conspiricism-culture, which, you may have noticed, has become pervasive throughout the developed-world, these last few years...
Do well, eh?
You may also find much important psychological-understanding in John Truby's "The Anatomy of Genres" book, which is on the 14 story-forms that human-meaning usually is made-of.
WHY do particular genres interest particular people??
Because their unconscious is working on THAT specific unconscious-mind problem, or is resonating in those exact values.
All who don't even know what the 14 scripts are, are blind to this simple/fundamental function among our kind, but all one has to do is understand enough of the meanings in the book, and .. suddenly .. understanding people becomes much easier!
Ha!
Salut, Namaste, & Kaizen, eh?
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