I've been on SNRI's for a decade +. Venlafaxine, the worst of the bunch.
They "work" in that I can feel barely able to live as opposed to definitely wanting to off myself daily.
But they disabled my dick and flatten any kind of peak-ey emotions as well, including riding a rollercoaster.
If I forget even a single dose - BANG, brain zaps for 12 hours. Good luck falling asleep.
I don't know whether to be thankful they exist or to be sorry I got on them and have to live life like some sort of half-human in the meantime.
There was a time I was really considering SSRI's. Mostly for anxiety related issues. But I heard about problems with those kinds of meds similar to what you described.
I've been able to find my own methods to deal with anxiety. Glad I never got on SSRI's as I'm not sure I would have been able to get off them.
I have been on Venlafaxine for almost a decade as well. I'm now on a low dose (37.5mg daily) and I function well on it. I don't feel flattened. But oh, fuck those brainzaps. I want to quit but I'm a bit anxious to.
I'm on 37.5mg Venlafaxine for the second time--tried Zoloft for a bit in between. What's wicked weird is that the first time I was on Venlafaxine I got brain zaps from missing a dose. This time I don't and I kind of miss the built-in kick in the pants to take my meds.
When I got off Venlafaxine XR the first time, I weaned myself off very slowly. At first, I counted down the tiny pellets in the capsules, then I got a medication scale. I was able to avoid brain zaps.
I was on 150mg of Zoloft. Ended up running out before I could get a new prescription. The withdrawal symptoms were horrible. Now I'm on 20mg of Prozac and 30mg of Buspirone Hcl. All I can say for sure is I'm actually getting some sleep now.
I mean great you found something that works well for your case. A friend of mine is on SSRIs for his depression since years and still has to take neuroleptics from time to time for his panic attacks.
I guess he'd also like to cut down the SSRIs due to the side effects (mostly loss of libido bothers him I think) but I don't think that's an actual option given his condition.
Anyhow, from a quick glance, 50mg/day seems to be the standard dose here, which you seem to surpass
This fear has kept me depressed and anxious my whole entire life. 😀 But I'm pretty much at the end of my rope now, so hopefully I can force myself to see a doctor and get some of these addictive pills.
Remember that you should never feel guilty about using meds as they are intended to be used. Dependence ≠ addiction.
Guilt about that kept me from getting medicated for my own issues, but when I finally found what worked for me, I genuinely wept. "Is this what 'normal' people feel like? Able to function? Quiet thoughts? Not overwhelmed by pure, constant anxiety?"
Does it kinda suck to think that I may have to take it indefinitely? Yeah. Sure. But it's much better than being stuck in my own head and paralyzed by my own stupid brain.
Love yourself and do what's best for you, meds or not.
Take the pills that will help you now and worry about withdrawal later.
You do not become addicted any more than a diabetic is addicted to insulin. You become dependent. It is a very big difference in that you do not long for more or have up your dose to have the same effect. Unlike xanax, valium that'll get you in a bad place very quickly if you do not monitor yourself.
Dont expect euforia. They also take weeks for full effect and you won't even notice it untill one day you realize you haven't felt bad for a while, that's them.
You do you. I just kicked an 8yr addiction and feel better than ever, because I worked on myself and got my brain to make the happy chems. Being addicted is the worst nightmare I’ve ever been through. It starts with “omg this actually works, I can live again!” And ends with EVERYTHING on pause. I was not a human anymore, just a robot/slave to the drug and society. A perfect little worker. Happy to be free and be a real biological creature again. If I feel bad now, there’s a reason and I go change it, it was a whole lot of work to internalize that realisation.
But hey, everyone’s different, and using drugs might help you! It just didn’t for me. More power to you.
I tapered escitalopram down following my dr's instructions, in part 3 of my "no more meds" push a couple of years ago. Worst taper of the three, and one of the other two was lorazepam.
Had to stretch the taper schedule out to six months and take tiny steps down and still dealt with terrible brain zaps and intermittent panic attacks throughout the six months and for a month or so after.
I'm "better now" and much more present in my day to day life but without the meds there's no safety net so I work out often, practice mindful meditation and breathing exercises, and have a "moderate" drinking problem.