To the average end user, I'm casting straight dark magic spells. They're not wrong.

Linux is almost like cheating, where is the fun? The sport? The challenge‽

Sometimes it's not about the destination, but the journey 😌

Inside me there are two wolves: Wanting a nice uptime and wanting to constantly update

Usually only kernel changes if at all, but they mentioned registry keys.

Is what necessary?

Ya even in an immutable distro, I find some little things get glitchy without a restart every couple days or so

Kernel updates can require it, but even then you can often get away with replacing the specific module.

No

It's advised to reboot after any kernel updates.

Not if it's running Windows

Computers actually got slower to boot after DDR5. It was true that ultrafast boot would boot in something like 5 seconds from post, now auto memory timings are harder to get right and so require more iterations to achieve stability.

Sure, if you're not multitasking and running uninterruptible or PITA-to-get-going-again processes or are just in a good flow where it'll take way more than 20 seconds to reopen all the programs you had running and breaks it

Na, nothing enterprise boots that fast. Not even with nvme drives.

I had to update a Chromebook-like machine that was running Windows not to long ago. It was excruciating. The restart progress bar on one update after reboot took ~30 minutes to reach 3%.

Keep in mind that the computer is unusable during this time, and all it takes is one poweroff to brick the machine. Ask me how I know :) . I had to leave it plugged in overnight to finish.

If this comment is referring to Windows reboots after update, I will call it confidently incorrect.