Well I'm glad to see they have irony in stock

This is just sad

Performative Resistance. 60% off.

"No matter" he bellowed, with a furious roar

Just shut-up and buy this, you consumerist whore

Well to be fair, those are pillows and not Christmas

"Maybe Christmas" doesn't come from a store, but "Merry Christmas" does, take that Dr. Suess!