from with love

I think I'll never learn how to be content. Google just rejected my third application to submit all my personal data, life story and stuff.

Seriously, i don't know. There are sad things, that are happening to loved ones. We are on different continents and i'm not able to even visit, because of a fuck up i did 10 years ago and still paying for it.

Time is passing and things will continue happening, good and bad ones.

I was able to get my things straight, like 3 months ago. Work is getting interesting again. Well in all so things are positively changing, but slowly.

Not fast enough, in order to be able to help in time.

Who knows, maybe luck comes my way and things work out.

I'm actually learning to consciously disconnect from worries and enjoy the moment. I'm also achieving some things i didn't think i would be able to. This makes me content.

I realized how important it is to live among the people you love, your family. If i would be able to share with them the things making me content, but on a normal day by day basis, would make me much more content.

The minimal, futile, things we share with loved ones as years go by, is the spice of life imo.

Yet, i know i only feel this way, because we are far away.

If i never would have moved away, i wouldn't have had the chance to feel homesick and probably wouldn't even like to meet the family, again, on Christmas.

But at the end of the day, right before falling asleep, i feel content and always sleep with a tiny ever lasting smile.

Maybe it's to compensate the doom i carry with me every morning, until the first coffee hits.

Edit: sorry for the book i just wrote.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall

Thank you for providing an overwhelmigly magniloquent answer. It's a rollercoaster. If it helps, I read it all, even though you answered the question in the very first sentence.

Can you just explain this?

Google just rejected my third application to submit all my personal data, life story and stuff.
- I was joking about being content ( as in data ) for Google
  
  I know, silly
  
  Edit: thank you for reading - i was thinking about all this, when you question came up