Sometimes I try to use my orb to envision myself without my orb. Problem is the orb cannot recall a future where it doesn't exist. I ponder a future without the orb and that future scares me.
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A year and a half ago when I stopped competing in roller derby, I had a similar epiphany the first night I was at home with no obligations on my time. It was revelatory. I can literally just read, drink wine, and relax after work now. Glorious.