The Icarus Flip: The worst greatest speedball ever

Before I write anything about this, I have to say that this is an extremely stupid thing I did. However, I feel like it's something that anybody who has ever used Phenibut has at least imagined. For some context, this story starts off a few days before the actual roll. One of my friends had gifted me 4 extended release 25mg amphetamine capsules as a late birthday gift. If you want real shit, go for extended release and a mortar and pestle. Nobody is pressing those balls for anything. Anyways, I had never done amphetamine at this point. This was essentially my first time with a stimulant. Then I decided to throw opiates, phenibut, liquor and acid on top. What resulted was the scariest and most painful 10 minutes of my life.

The night started around 4. I had already been drinking a bit that day when I decided to break down about 15mg of ER balls in my mortar and snorted them. You want clean anything? Buy ER, trust me. 15 minutes later and I'm vibing and cleaning the kitchen until I ask myself "What would Phenibut be like on this?" Took half my normal dose, 1.5grams. Hour later it kicks in and I am SPEEDING. I've done a lot of drugs and poly mixes. Phenibut and amphetamines is simply one of the best highs you can possibly imagine. Lyrica is pretty damn good too, but Phenibut is better. That mix has about the same safety profile as mixing alcohol with amphetamines, so try at your own risk. However, I don't recommend adding in anything more than those two unless you have a death wish. After this paragraph, everything I do becomes unbelievably stupid.

Next came the methadone and acid. I finished cleaning the kitchen and sat down to listen to some music. My girlfriend, not thinking about everything I had already taken, offered me a few milligrams of methadone. Probably 5-10mils. I took it because they free opiate right? Eventually the opiate hit, and it goes from a great speed session to the ultimate speedball. The Phenibut is pulling up the methadone and the amphetamine while eliminating any anxiety. After achieving an 11/10 high, I decide "hey, I have a sheet and haven't tripped in months. Why not?" Boof 150ug of some GammaGoblin tabs and the high goes from an 11 to a 12 in the next hour. Extremely clean trip with a clear yet even more euphoric headspace. Existing just felt good at that exact moment.

Donda by Kanye West had just come out, so I decided to put it on for the first time, and the demon of that night decided to put me in it's sight for the night. I listened to Jail, and I absolutely loved the song. However by the time the second sond came around, I started feeling indescribably weird. I paced around the house, unsure of what I should do for about 45 minutes. I was high and wasn't really thinking about it. This was until Hurricane (the 80 degrees song) turned on, and I decided I wanted to hear the leak instead of the published version. I started typing it into my laptop, until one moment I felt that something was horrible wrong and started sprinting to the bathroom. A few steps out, I see my vision melt into black. The sound around me becomes a glitchy mess, infinitely repeating into itself. I told myself "Holy shit did I just have a stroke?". I had had seizures before, but this one was literally exactly how I imagined a stroke in my head.

I woke up 15 seconds later, and luckily I didn't have a stroke. Just a seizure. A really bad one. I seized into a wall and a picture frame, and the picture frame had hit me right between the eyes. I wasn't just having an overdose at this point, I had a giant gaping hole in my forehead. My girlfriend helped me crawl to the bathroom after she walked into the sight. She kept slapping me to keep me awake for the crawl. She thought the picture frame had fully killed me, and was still in full panic mode from the sheer amount of blood on my face. She even recorded a short bit of it because apparently I had told her to in my haze. I knew how horrifying everything was and didn't want her to be accused of murder. I only remember the slaps because that's what kept me awake.

By the time I was in the bathroom, I was sweating worse than I've ever seen. I was wearing a dress and it was completely soaked by this point. The ground below my dress looked like it was raining. I took it off as fast as I could and started crawling for the bathtub until I blacked out for another moment. My girlfriend had just dragged me into the tub, and I turned on the cold water with the last of my energy. The water started hitting me, and my vision turned entirely white. Every muscle in my body started seizing, I could feel absolutely everything. It felt like my soul was trying to leave my body, until my vision came back and I was just fine.

There were no more issues the rest of the night. My hypothesis is focused on Phenibut tolerance. You don't hold tolerance for one roll, it changes. You may have a far weaker tolerance for Phenibut 6 hours in than you would 2 hours in. This is usually fine, unless it's tied to every other drug you're doing that night. I believe that I had a tolerance drop that made everything else I took even stronger and put me in the danger zone.