Being 'to negative'
Being 'to negative'
So I'm a shut-in with a ton of problems and no money. My life revolves around World of Warcraft and Destiny 2 which is sad in its own right I'm sure. Anyway every single time I try to find a community (guild or clan) it goes to hell within a month or so. They always say I'm too negative about the game or my performance. No matter what I do/say it apparently always comes across as 'negative' and they see it as hurting their community. Funny enough these communities are always dead and I'm talking into a void trying to engage people.
Sorry I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Just had another group tell me I was getting kicked due to negativity and I'm so tired of it. I don't have any friends, I'm always starting over from scratch and even if I try my hardest it still ends the same way. Don't even feel that I'm being negative since I just say bugs me. Sorry. Feel like I could cry, because of everything, and I can't even do that.
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I used to be in this pit too (and still dip back in every once in a while)
What helped me was recognizing what “negative Nancy’s” sounded like
What I sounded like. I recorded myself once and just kept tally of all the times I disagreed, argued, or tried to push on something that wasn’t worth pushing about.
Are you feeling depressed? Have you tried talking with professionals or maybe even just your family about it? They likely know you best and will be able to help you out.
Sometimes talkin with a good therapist you can vibe with a bit just helps to see these alternate viewpoints that your cognitive bias won’t/can’t see
Might be worth it. For me, and it seems like maybe you too, getting fed up with myself was the first step to being critical and objective about my choices in behavior. Sometimes being a bit “lighter” about stuff is what you need to help reset. But that can be hard if you’re struggling physically to produce enough serotonin or whatever the ailment might be. Other times it’s just habits you need to change.
Life is too short to be miserable. You will die the same way unless you take action to course correct and start living more brightly.
I can't afford to see a therapist. I mentioned this in my post. I live in constant physical pain and mental pain layered over everything else. So not sure what to tell you.
You mentioned being lighter about stuff. When I talk about the only things that give me some good people think I'm too intense. If I try to tone that down then they say I'm vanishing or something. I can't win either way.
Doesn’t hurt to keep it in mind, I can understand the affordability thing and I really would not trust in the app based therapy apps like betterhelp, cerebral, etc after the BS that has recently been in the news and them selling your fucking data… However, general telehealth options (sometime even offered by actual offices and clinics) are sometimes more affordable and you don’t even have to leave the house to do em. Sometimes that space can help you take the first step.
It’s hard for me to know exactly what’s going on, but introspection imo is key. Maybe try keeping a journal and get into the swing of journaling a bit every day. Don’t try to jump into it with the thought that you have to do it every day right away, but do it in more manageable chunks like every month, every week, every other day, etc. and work into it. Set yourself up for success and be reasonable and kind to yourself.
The reality is that we’re all very complicated and intricate beings. We deserve to be afforded grace (especially by ourselves) but we owe it to the people we care about and the people we enjoy being around to be the best versions of ourselves
Sometimes that means making changes to who we’ve become in favor of who we want to be. Meditation and introspection have been around for many many years and there’s a reason for that.
That sorta stuff is free financially, but it requires you to break out of your current “shape” and put in investment/work to be something new. It can feel a little weird/awkward at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
And when the day comes that you meet someone like you used to be, be kind to them too and show them your way. That’s community. That’s humanity.
I don’t know if this helped, I hope I didn’t come off too pompous or “high-horsed”. I want you to feel better like I do and I just hope it’s enough for you to use as a bit of support/gas to get going on your own path toward success. Have a better day friend
EDIT: reworded the holded parts from their original form which was more “damning” of telehealth in general, and generalizing a problem that had no business being expressed in that way.
I really would not trust in telehealth providers after the BS that has recently been in the news and them selling your fucking data
NO nono NO NO!
do not listen to the fucking sensationalist scare-tactic news on this.
telehealth is to be confidential, and any therapist breaking that rule will lose their license, full stop.
First off, relax.
Second off:
https://www.theverge.com/2024/4/16/24131881/ftc-fine-cerebral-telehealth
And so on. Go in person. You’re trusting your personal and medical data with companies that have proven to time in and time out be untrustworthy.
Do you have a service you would suggest that’s reputable instead? That would be constructive.
Oh man, you can't pin the whole field down based on the actions of Better Health. Therapy apps are notoriously predatory. The message cannot be "Don't use Telehealth". The message is "Do not use therapy apps like Better Health and Cerebral".
If you reach out to a proper outpatient therapy clinic and request telehealth appointments, you will meet with a therapist on specific HIPAA compliant software that medical practitioners use throughout the country. The industry is highly regulated on these things. Part of why those predatory apps are such a problem is not just in how they underpay clinicians, give poor service to clients, or charge extortionary rates, but also because of how they use sleazy practices to undermine confidentiality and telemedicine as a whole.
So in short, if you go to a licensed clinician with a proper practice, you will have confidentiality as long as they have a license.
Fair enough, I’ll put in an edit
EDIT: Edited the original comment, thanks for keeping things more levelheaded and civil, makes it easier for us to discuss stuff
It can be hard to change opinions if you’re being yelled at, so to speak, so I appreciate it
Life is too short to be miserable. You will die the same way unless you take action to course correct and start living more brightly.
bruh
You can’t expect to make change in your life by doing nothing. You have to take action. That’s all that’s being said here and nothing more.
Technically true, which is the most generous I could possibly be. It is not good advice. Telling someone to live more brightly is, begging your pardon, freaking useless.
Edit: to be clear, a lot of the rest of your advice isn't bad or anything. I just really hate this particular phrasing. It will not help, I guarantee it.
Fair enough, some help is better than no help