if god didn't want me to be cozy then why can I turn myself into a burrito?

Just use your girlfriend's couch, dummy!

I don't have room for a couch, but one of those big, cosy armchairs / recliners / whatever they're called would be great, too. If I could find one that's like an office chair or a gaming chair but with the feel of an armchair, I'd be so happy.