How long have you gone without being in a romantic relationship?

I didn't mean it that much as a joke, unfortunately.

I've been thinking how to explain this for those 2 hours, but I don't know.
I just can't really "just do something".
What I meant by "step-by-step manual" would be like a plan of exactly what to do, what to say. I can't even imagine what people do on a date.
Even just trying to start a short conversation is generally a big challenge for me. I sometimes have like 1 or 2 things I want to tell/show to someone, but I may be waiting with that even for weeks.

And just trying to talk to someone, it's like trying to breathe underwater. The brain just stops you from breathing, it's like my throat just closes and I can't say a thing.
Also, unfortunately, I have the habit of instinctively replying "I don't know." to basically any question.

Similarly it's with doing something for the first time. I usually take time with pre-planning stuff to detail.
For example when I was taking a city bus in a different city I even checked how to take the ticket. What payment system they use, whether I need to press something on the screen, where the ticket comes out of, whether it gets fully or partially cut off. Thankfully, that bus company published videos showcasing their system. (Thank you)
Otherwise I'd be checking on forums, looking at background of news reports from that general area, etc..

There's no good explanation for this. I just... can't.
I am a terrible person, so it's probably better this way anyway.