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My version - I need to constantly remind those around me that I am helpful and provide services or they'll forget I exist.
No joke, that's what my life has taught me. People don't hate me, but if I stop gently reminding them I exist, then they'll forget me. It's happened many, many times. I've come to accept that I'm not inherently likable.
Fuck that's so relatable, I hate it. I can't keep track of the number of
friendsfriendships I've had just evaporate the moment I stop texting first.Edit: lol
God I'm having issues with that right now. I don't make friends or anything like that. I'm not good with people. But I had met someone who would repeatedly call me their friend. They moved away but said we could still be friends and everything but it was all a lie. They never really liked me and never text me or anything. They repeatedly told me when they were going to be in town, but didn't end up wanting to hang out when they were here. I told them how upset I was at turning 30 when I had saw them but they flat out forgot it was my birthday and never said anything despite me texting them happy birthday a week prior.
It just sucks, man. I know it's stupid for me to be this upset about something so dumb. But I don't make friends easily and no one calls me their friend. So when it all ends up to be a lie then I just have the hardest time getting over it.
Might have stopped wanting to hang out with a fuckin debbie downer all the time. I've dropped friendships because that shit is exhausting.
I do not do that all the time. I was having a hard time with that one particular thing and I only complained about it when directly asked.
What I am hurt about is people going back on their word on what they say to me.
We live in soem whirlwind society that has us doing BS all the time cause productive. That being said losing friends like that is so sad...
Definitely not true.
But the issue here is so deep that it is hard to explain.
First, obviously, if someone doesn't care to give back that relationship isn't worth your time anyway. But you probably know.
Second, when you are there for others but not entirely there from your own base of security, it is received as a temporary interaction, no matter if it is a pleasant or "profitable" interaction
Third, when you get back from a relationship, when they freely give to you, you probably can not fully identify that it has happened, and when you prompt yourself constantly for if you get enough you don't have proof. So to expand on this one, you need to be super conscious about if it just feels like you are forgotten but in reality you have been appreciated and praised but it slipped off you.
You will never receive enough energy attention and love by struggling for it. This is because you never control others, and if you manage to do that, it will be truly just sabotaging any possible real unconditional friendship or love.
You can just give from your side, be so secure in yourself that you have the ability to evaluate objectively if you want to have the relationship if it doesn't really give you joy in life
What if you want them all to forget?
I kinda wish. I wish I didn't crave approval and companionship, but I do. I feel it as intense as any hunger pang.