Okay, I might make an exception for antique tech from the '90s or earlier, back when HP was actually good (e.g. a LaserJet 4, an HP-28C calculator, the function generator somebody posted in another thread yesterday, etc.). That's very unlikely, though.
Their OfficeJet Pro is $13 a month and offers next business day replacement. If I were to purchase out of spite, it would be with a debit/temporary card with exactly $13 on it, and claim a replacement for defective printer (since it cant print offline). I wonder if HP would still try these things if each “customer” costed them substantially more in shipping back and forth, or having to write off two “office” printers for $13.